I can feel both sides of your story. My husband and I used to have sex everyday, sometimes twice a day, while we were dating. After we got married, I got pregnant with our second child two months after marriage and ever since I had my mirena put in after she was born, I have no sex drive, which is a side effect to the mirena. Our sex life is now just as predictable. Once a week, normally on Saturday. And I do feel really bad about it. However when we do have sex I try to make the best of it and I do really enjoy it. At the same time I do feel the same way that sometimes we just have sex to have sex. I wish he would want me the way he used to, somewhat the same as you described. However he does always make sure I get my kicks off before we even start or before he finishes which is a plus but it always just feels like sex and not making love, so to say.
If you even want to talk to vent feel free to message me. less

There's never an excuse to cheat - you always have the chance to leave. I get understanding why people would cheat, but I can never really "understand" it. There's always the option of leaving when you aren't satisfied, or asking your husband if you can somehow fulfill your needs elsewhere if he isn't meeting them. If you're thinking about cheating at all, probably tell him how you're feeling. less

I need to vent to someone so here is as safe a place as any.
Not that i would ever cheat but i feel like i understand why some people do it now. My husband has always had a lower sex drive than me and right now its especially now because of a medication he is taking and because he is going to school and working. I understand that he is busy and his meds mess with him but its killing me. Once a week, that pretty much what we are down to, every sunday seems to be the magic night. Its annoying how predictable it is. And on top of that i feel like he doesnt want ME he just wants sex. I miss when he wanted me so bad he would take advantage of me anywhere he could. Sex with our clothes still on in the kitchen, in the living room, in the garage. Now i feel like the only reason he has sex with me is cause he just that horny, i just want to feel wanted and desired. i dont get that feeling from him anymore, and here we land at cheating. i now understand how someone can stumble upon that attention out side of marriage and want it. I could never cheat, i even feel guilty when i have dreams about other people (in the dream i feel guilty) but i could use some attention and for someone to make me feel sexy and desired.
We used to have a great sex life, we were a couple that did it 3 to 5 times a week an now its harldy one time. most of the time the sex is good, but i seems like if i am trying to enjoy it and not rush to the finish he cant hang for too long without finishing. Hes not premature but really can it last more than 15 minutes. Well end venting! thanks to anyone that read this. I cant really talk to anyone else about this so i needed to get it out. less

At work you meet a lot of couples going through this. One or the other has had an accident and is on meds that muck with their libido or their in a cast and just CANNOT have sex until it comes off and things become difficult if they are used to sex daily etc. Sometimes it works in reverse and the person once recovered finds their partner has become uninterested in sex.

Some people find an outlet and work around it, others just cheat because they aren't getting it from their loved ones, many just give up without a fight and move on.

Nine tenths of the issue is failure to acknowledge that there is a problem. After both parties acknowledge that they need to work together, remedies can soon be found. Be it talking with your doctor, trying something new or just retrying something old.

You never know till you give it a go. less