I feel like a sibling who doesn't ever interact with my partner shouldn't want so badly to purchase the somewhat intimate and costly item that I plan for months to get him. It just seems rude and when there have been past incidents where a sibling has showed the wrong kind of attention, maybe giving such a dramatic gift isn't the best. To be honest, it's kind of hurtful! Especially if the sibling hasn't ever bought gifts for the person before she started showing an interest in them.


I just think it's distasteful.

My sibling is male and straight. Wouldn't work that way.

However, I did have 'friends' who would do that sort of thing to each other. I never went through it myself, as I never dated much in high school (the guys were shallow right up front instead of hiding it). I was tempted a couple of time, simply because I had a crush on the guy to begin with and him being a sweetheart to the girl compounded it, but I never went through with it. Too damn noble, I guess.

If this isn't a hypothetical question, then may I ask if your sister being a brat, Kendra? What does your husband think of the whole thing?

I've never had it happen with a sibling, I haven't seen my older sister in well over ten years, and don't even know where she is. But put in that situation, I'd let them know their behavior was absolutely not acceptable, and they would henceforth not be welcome in my home.

I've never had that happen, thankfully... But it is a fear of mine, not that my sister will suddenly want my partner, but that my partner will suddenly want my sister. I'm not sure how I would react. I'm sure it would be absolutely heartbreaking, especially after so many years of feeling like she is the "better" one.

I wouldnt be nice at all....i would more than likely go off and loose contact b4 something happens and more drama starts. I mean to think how dar them to even do tht!!! It makes me sick

I would feel very betrayed and hurt! Does the partner know about his? How does he feel? How close are the siblings and what happened to change her feelings toward you partner?

It sounds like oh difficult but necessary talk is in order! Between the siblings. Start distancing your relationship with your partner from her, stop confiding in her and tell her to grow up and attach herself to someone who would care for her. Not picking up your partner, but finding her own.

My older brother is married and has a son. Also my girlfriend is very much gay, I don't think he'd get very far. ;D

I understand your frustration. I would definetly talk to your sister, and your partner as well. She may be trying to be nice and not really understand how it may affect you. Her behavior is over stepping boundaries which is ridiculous and inconsiderate.

If my sister pulled the same stunt, I would be very upset with her. However, our tastes in men differ greatly so I'm not too worried about her attempting to woo my partners anytime soon.

good luck!

She is stepping WAY over her boundaries here. Yes, I would feel hurt and betrayed if my sister or friend did this to me, and I would NEVER consider doing this to a sister or to a friend. You need to firmly voice your feelings on this and clearly draw the boundaries here. It is NOT appropriate for your sister to buy your spouse/lover/boyfriend an intimate gift PERIOD, let alone a specific and special gift that she knows you have saved to purchase for him. You need to communicate with her and get her to honestly examine what she is trying to do here. The best way to do this is to go to counseling together or to have a neutral third party present who can walk you through this to calmly discuss feelings and motives. If she doesn't care to do that, then the healthiest thing for you to do right now (at least for the short term) is to cut off communication with her for the time being. I would also discuss this with your partner and let him know what your sister had wanted to do (you don't have to tell him what the gift idea was--only that it was an intimate item that you had planned to give him yourself). He needs to know that this awkward dynamic is unfolding, and he should be given the opportunity to put his own two cents in here. You don't want a jealous rift to occur, and discussing this honestly is the best way to avoid that from happening.

Good luck, hon.