The New Intimacy

How long is too long?

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Contributor: MN58 MN58
How long did you and your partner wait to get married?
We are on our way to 11 years this year. But we are getting married in December Everybody just assumes that we are married but obviously we're not. We are both 26 and we just waited because we wanted to finish with our education. But it sometimes gets to me that people ask "and why so long?" all the time. I've gotten into many argumets because of this.
06/12/2011
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Contributor: ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
We waited 10 years, never felt the need to until the kids came along. I never understood the big rush, as long as the love is there. Plus once you live with a person for a few years you should know if it will last.
06/12/2011
Contributor: ss143 ss143
You do it when your ready every couple is different so I don't think there is a too long or too short time frame that people need to abide by. Congrats on your upcoming wedding bf and I have been together on and off for 14 years and two kids and we have no intentions as of now to get married
06/12/2011
Contributor: MN58 MN58
Quote:
Originally posted by ss143
You do it when your ready every couple is different so I don't think there is a too long or too short time frame that people need to abide by. Congrats on your upcoming wedding bf and I have been together on and off for 14 years and two kids and ... more
very true. And thanks i cant wait for our big day
06/12/2011
Contributor: PiratePrincess PiratePrincess
It will be that long when my boyfriend and I finally get married. We want to finish schooling before getting married and I don't see why we should rush into it too soon. We are committed to each other and that's all that matters.
06/12/2011
Contributor: MN58 MN58
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyTimeTim
We waited 10 years, never felt the need to until the kids came along. I never understood the big rush, as long as the love is there. Plus once you live with a person for a few years you should know if it will last.
Niether have I and thats exactly why i get into arguments. My family always tells me "you're getting old" HA! I'm just 26!

Exactly! we've been living together since we were 18 and it has worked out wonderfully
06/12/2011
Contributor: MN58 MN58
Quote:
Originally posted by PiratePrincess
It will be that long when my boyfriend and I finally get married. We want to finish schooling before getting married and I don't see why we should rush into it too soon. We are committed to each other and that's all that matters.
Thats a great decision!
exactly what we did and now I'm a pharmacist and he is on his way to finishing his Ph. D in music
06/12/2011
Contributor: MN58 MN58
Quote:
Originally posted by PiratePrincess
It will be that long when my boyfriend and I finally get married. We want to finish schooling before getting married and I don't see why we should rush into it too soon. We are committed to each other and that's all that matters.
Thats a great decision!
exactly what we did and now I'm a pharmacist and he is on his way to finishing his Ph. D in music
06/12/2011
Contributor: Wondermom Wondermom
Quote:
Originally posted by MN58
How long did you and your partner wait to get married?
We are on our way to 11 years this year. But we are getting married in December Everybody just assumes that we are married but obviously we're not. We are both 26 and we just waited ... more
my brother just got married to his girlfriend of nearly 2 decades and even then I don't think its too long as long as both parties agree to the time
06/12/2011
Contributor: MN58 MN58
Quote:
Originally posted by Wondermom
my brother just got married to his girlfriend of nearly 2 decades and even then I don't think its too long as long as both parties agree to the time
soo true!
06/12/2011
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
The correct answer to the inquiries is "would you rather we'd married at 18?".

I swear, people can't make up their minds. 18 is too young....but you've been together 11 years...WHY AREN'T YOU HITCHED? Ugh. Maybe because you have more than two brain cells to rub together? /rant
06/12/2011
Contributor: Wondermom Wondermom
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
The correct answer to the inquiries is "would you rather we'd married at 18?".

I swear, people can't make up their minds. 18 is too young....but you've been together 11 years...WHY AREN'T YOU HITCHED? Ugh. Maybe ... more
you could also answer with a smart ass reply "we prefer to live in sin"
06/12/2011
Contributor: UnknownGirl UnknownGirl
I guess you do it when it's right for you. We waited 6 years before getting hitched.
06/12/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
We started planning our wedding shortly after we got back together a few years ago, hoping for a spring wedding in 2010 but money ended up with us getting married in January of 2011. But I have friends that have been together for 15 years without getting married and are perfectly happy with that. It all comes down to timing and what works for both people involved. There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you did it, and anybody that wants to give you crap for it can shove it.
06/13/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Whatever works for you.

My Man is a little older than I am, so we waited until I finished college (He already had obtained his BS in Engineering) and we'd been together in one form or an other since I was 16. I did my Master's work while raising small children. Sometimes, I wish I had finished my Masters or even my PhD before having kids, but it in the past.

I have told my girls, "Finish whatever education you think you will need before you start popping out babies. It's too hard once they start coming." So far, they are following my advice.
06/13/2011
Contributor: padmeamidala padmeamidala
Quote:
Originally posted by MN58
How long did you and your partner wait to get married?
We are on our way to 11 years this year. But we are getting married in December Everybody just assumes that we are married but obviously we're not. We are both 26 and we just waited ... more
I got engaged to my Master on April 10/1998. We got married on April 10/2004. So 6 years for us between getting engaged and getting married. I was a bit more reluctant the second time around because I had gone through a divorce after being married too young and the first time around.
06/13/2011
Contributor: slynch slynch
My wife and I were together almost 10 years when we got married last fall.

This is my second marriage and had a very bad divorce.
06/14/2011
Contributor: Liz2 Liz2
When you are ready, there is no answer as to how long is right? Too many of my friends married quickly and they are now unmarried.
Congratulations and all the best!!
06/14/2011
Contributor: cherryredhead88 cherryredhead88
I don't know if I will ever get married , I think putting the title on it ruins things. For me personally, it feels like an obligation after you start using words like that (marriage, hitched, etc)

So when I do find the right person I hope it won't feel that way... keep in mind this is coming from a 23 y.o single mom...

Education and my son are in fact my main priorities and I don't have time for a relationship, let alone marriage!

Congrats to all you married and engaged folks, however. It makes me happy to see others happy!
06/14/2011
Contributor: kelaaa33wish kelaaa33wish
We dated for 4 years before getting married and we still are married 27 years later.
06/14/2011
Contributor: MN58 MN58
Quote:
Originally posted by Wondermom
you could also answer with a smart ass reply "we prefer to live in sin"
LMAO!!! that what i told my parents!!..... then i got kicked out... hahaha
06/15/2011
Contributor: babyrock babyrock
Does it really matter how long it MIGHT appear to be to other people? I mean, it's not like they know what's it's like to be in a relationship with your significant other. I'd say, as long as you're both happy and content to be where you are, whether it's been a month, a year, or a decade, it's really none of other people's business.
06/16/2011
Contributor: Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
We moved in with each other after 2-3 months of meeting and I married him 2 months after that. We have been together 18 years and counting. I was 19 when we met, he was 21. Everyone said there was no way it would work, but we are still here.

I know people who have been together longer than we have and they never married. So there is no right or wrong answer. It matters and makes a difference to only the two involved.
06/16/2011