The New Intimacy

What would you do if you felt the urge/want/need to cheat?

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Contributor: ID42 ID42
What would you do if you had the urge to cheat? Would you talk to your partner to work on fixing what you felt was wrong?

Did it work if you did or was the damage of the thought enough to breakdown communication?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Cheat.
Talk to my partner.
30  (68%)
Both.
It was/is not that simple.
14  (32%)
Total votes: 44
Poll is closed
10/16/2012
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Contributor: Jesyra Jesyra
It depends on why I was wanting to cheat. If I'm horny and need to get laid, basically just need the physical intimacy, I'd talk to my husband about it. If I'm driven to a point where I need the emotional validation/intimacy of an affair, I'd just leave. It may sound cold, but at that point, the relationship is already broken as far as I'm concerned and I'm not sticking around to suffer any longer.
10/16/2012
Contributor: ToyGeek ToyGeek
Examine the reasons for wanting to cheat, and either deal with the underlying problem, or end the relationship.
10/17/2012
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
I don't think there is a valid reason to cheat. If you cannot keep your commitments - inform your partner and move on. I'm not suggesting it - my guess is that the grass is not as green on the other side as you think - but I don't know enough about your circumstance.

Simple rule - honesty is the best policy! Or stated another way - Do unto others as you would have done to you.
10/17/2012
Contributor: Girly Juice Girly Juice
The urge to cheat would be a sign about how my relationship was going. I would discuss it with my partner to determine next steps.
10/17/2012
Contributor: - Kira - - Kira -
I'd work through it on my own. If it was a problem with me at least. If there was something lacking in the relationship I'd talk to him about it. That said, even when we had tough times I never felt a need or urge to cheat. Just not that kind of person.
10/17/2012
Contributor: BrittaniMaree BrittaniMaree
had this happen and we discussed a lot and it helped us see what changes need to be done between us in our relationship its hard after 10 years but we are making it work
10/17/2012
Contributor: *Camoprincess* *Camoprincess*
I have been in this situation before if I feel the need to stray I talk to my partner about what is going on, I don't actually come out an say "Hey I have thought about cheating on you" I simply make the comment that things aren't going the way I think they should and something needs to be done. If sex is lacking that is why I have toys but I also mention hey more intimate things need to happen If that doesn't work and things still continue to go south it is time to move on without cheating. I wish you luck in whatever you maybe going through.
10/17/2012
Contributor: Wonderstruck Wonderstruck
I would talk about it or leave.
10/17/2012
Contributor: sexfairy sexfairy
I'd talk about it to work on fixing things. Communication and authenticity are two important things for me. When I am sexually satisfied with a partner, I don't feel the urge to cheat. If I do, it means something's wrong or missing.
10/17/2012
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
I can't condone cheating, no matter the circumstances. I've been cheated on, twice. It sucks and I would never do that to another person.
10/17/2012
Contributor: Boyfriend Boyfriend
talk to my partner
10/17/2012
Contributor: Stinkytofu10 Stinkytofu10
Quote:
Originally posted by ID42
What would you do if you had the urge to cheat? Would you talk to your partner to work on fixing what you felt was wrong?

Did it work if you did or was the damage of the thought enough to breakdown communication?
It was/is not that simple.
10/17/2012
Contributor: edeneve edeneve
I had the desire, I didn't do it, saw no need to tell my husband.
10/17/2012
Contributor: Marie Hanna Marie Hanna
I would talk about why I wanted to cheat with my partner.
10/17/2012
Contributor: edenguy edenguy
Quote:
Originally posted by ID42
What would you do if you had the urge to cheat? Would you talk to your partner to work on fixing what you felt was wrong?

Did it work if you did or was the damage of the thought enough to breakdown communication?
I'd talk about it and channel the desire to something with her
10/17/2012
Contributor: Missmarc Missmarc
Quote:
Originally posted by ID42
What would you do if you had the urge to cheat? Would you talk to your partner to work on fixing what you felt was wrong?

Did it work if you did or was the damage of the thought enough to breakdown communication?
Talk to my partner.
10/17/2012
Contributor: jr2012 jr2012
I have only felt this once. We were in a long-distance relationship phase, and I didn't know when it would end. I was so lonely and so horny, and an old male friend revealed he had the hots for me. I was a little tempted (not to mention super flattered), but deep down I knew I could never do it.

So glad we live together again! Long distance is just too hard for me.
10/17/2012
Contributor: Alan & Michele Alan & Michele
We aren't in the kind of relationship where it's an issue. Long ago we agreed that if either of us had the urge to bed someone else, we could accept it... as long as it was *just* sex and we told the other about it first (nothing like hearing about these things through the grapevine, right?). So far I haven't been attracted enough to anyone else to do it.

~M
10/19/2012
Contributor: Hallmar82 Hallmar82
I suppose it would be something I would need to talk to my partner, but I've never really been tempted to cheat before and wouldn't anyway.
10/19/2012
Contributor: Mamastoys Mamastoys
I haven't cheated in 28 years and don't want to start now. I've not had that urge but if I did, I would talk to him.
10/19/2012
Contributor: Zandrock Zandrock
Sometimes there is just the novelty of it, so I just ignore it. But if I really wanted and needed something I would talk to my partner. Although then that is technically not cheating
10/19/2012
Contributor: Shesasexybrat Shesasexybrat
This is why couples invented swinging.
10/19/2012
Contributor: gorgeous gorgeous
I have this urge now.... And I really don't know what to do. I really like the guy I'm with, but I'm not getting enough from him.
10/19/2012
Contributor: satinlady550 satinlady550
Quote:
Originally posted by ID42
What would you do if you had the urge to cheat? Would you talk to your partner to work on fixing what you felt was wrong?

Did it work if you did or was the damage of the thought enough to breakdown communication?
I wouldn't cheat. I would have to talk with my partner on how I am feeling and try to work through those feelings. I was married for 10 years and my husband constantly cheated on me. It made me feel worthless. I decided the last year of my marriage I would do the same and it didn't justify anything and made me feel even worse.. So communication is key...
10/19/2012