I think this depends on the person. For me, I will not have sex with someone that I do not have an emotional connection with. So if I have sex with someone, there is already more to the relationship than sex. I find that I really cannot stand people who I cannot have an intelligent conversation with, even when it comes to finding friends. That being said, I don't think I would want to be in a relationship where sex was out of the picture. So, while sex is important in my relationships, I would say communication and common ground are more important to me. I would guess that for me, sex would be make up 40% of a successful relationship. less

I don't think that there is any credible percentages on record for "great sex. great relationship". But you have got to define what one is referencing.

As in by relationship do you mean great sex, great marriage or i love my SO because they are good in bed.

I will give two interesting stories.


Couple A.

Married Wife having an affair with another man.

Her husband is the bread earner and is average in the sack, have four wonderful kids but she misses that spark that originally attracted her. Enter the other man, young, fit and hung like a horse plus knows how to use it. He does stuff to her she would never have considered doing with her husband. The sex is epic but she would never leave her husband who she loves, it is a purely physical relationship and so makes for a great relationship on that basis only.

Couple B.

Two singles.

Both are in their late twenties, have had on and off relationships their entire lives since high school. When they met it was purely for a one night stand but it was so epically good they kept on going at it like rabbits ever since. Both come from different background, barely scrap ends meat at dead end jobs, they know they could never afford to be together and think the whole boyfriend/girlfriend, future married couple, monogamy thing is just stupid. They have a great sexual relationship which they enjoy regularly but that's about it.

Thoughts? less

We wouldn't say 50%. Maybe 25-30 %. Certainly good sex helps the relationship. Not so good sex can be aided with some toys. That's how all of us found this place, right ?

At times when things aren't going well, certainly great sex helps. Good sex helps each of us look past mistakes and mis-steps.

I think good sex is like icing on the cake. less

Well - let me comment on this from an old guys perspective.

Early in our marriage (post honeymoon) we were raising 2 children and sex got to be to vanilla and too infrequent for my taste - but I'm a persistent SOB - and we had a great relationship - so she was willing to try new things.

The novelty - i.e. toys helped a ton, then low and behold she - in her own words, "had a change of heart". Instead of fighting me off - she resolved to enjoy the attention I was determined to provide her.

So for me my 50s were much better than my 40s (got married late) - then came my 60s. Now faced with ED and lost sensitivity (too much masturbation when she wasn't interested?) - things are much more difficult for me - but no less fun.

Through my tutelage my wife gushes frequently and routinely has multiple orgasm - all thanks to the dozens of toys and a husband who delights in making her cum - as many times as possible.

So what's in to for the younger reader - don't waste your younger years - like health sexual prowess and abilities wane over time - you don't want to look back on years wasted by disinterest or a lack of adventurism. Go for it now - the kids will get over it!!

Is sex better now - absolutely! Was it guaranteed no! It took a lot of patience and persistence to get to where we are - and no one is happier than my wife - who takes a bit of pity on me because I'm one-and-done! She does whatever she can to make the one I get - a great one! less

I think its a combination of multiple things. There are definitely successful long term relationships out there where the couple has very little to no sex life. I would venture to guess that a healthy sex life is important in the majority of relationships. Sexual compatibility and gratification can enhance feelings of love and caring for another person. In my relationship, sex plays a very important role but by no means is it more important than our relationship itself. less