The New Intimacy

Do you ever get jealous of your partners past?

Skip to last post
Set alerts
Updates
Forum search
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by LavenderSkies
Poll
Not really but then neither of my partners has much of a "past". Now I used to get jealous of Sigel's playmates but I don't anymore. I will admit the Green eyed monster comes out if I feel neglected but I try to keep that bitch under firm control...she has a nasty mouth!
02/28/2012
Contributor: samanthalynn samanthalynn
Quote:
Originally posted by LavenderSkies
Poll
i use to but after 13 yrs being together i dont anymore
02/28/2012
Contributor: RavenWings RavenWings
I try not to, but I am. I try to control it because he doesn't deserve it.
02/28/2012
Contributor: MeliPixie MeliPixie
I don't like when he brings up his past girlfriends, but I know it's his way of showing me he thinks I'm the best decision he's ever made I hate being reminded that he's loved girls before me, because it makes me think that I, like they were, am replaceable, but I trust him not to hurt me, so I try to keep the jealousy to a minimum.
02/29/2012
Contributor: Djiffy Djiffy
When she starts talking about it, yeah.
02/29/2012
Contributor: LusciousLollypop LusciousLollypop
I admit it -- I'm a jealous person. And I HATE it when he brings up his ex's in some type of way. He brings them up when we are being sexual and it pisses me off. I don't like him "comparing me" to them.. or her. especially one of them. the other.. she is too far away for me to care. I don't like being compared. I am my own person and if you want me so badly like you say, stop mentioning her ridiculous name.
02/29/2012
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by LusciousLollypop
I admit it -- I'm a jealous person. And I HATE it when he brings up his ex's in some type of way. He brings them up when we are being sexual and it pisses me off. I don't like him "comparing me" to them.. or her. especially one ... more
He brings up ex-lovers when you're having sex? Hell, I'm not a jealous person, but if My Man EVER did that, (but he wouldn't) I'd call our Safe Word (because that would be too much pain) and then have a serious talk with him.

That is very manipulative behavior, to compare you to past lovers. It sucks. I'd call him out on it, there's no reason to be nasty, but sit down when you're not being sexual and let him know not only that it's very hurtful, but that you will not stand for it anymore. Then, if he brings up an ex during sex again, get up and leave.

There is NO reason for anyone to tolerate being treated in such an abusive manner. I'd call him on the carpet and expect some changes. Really. It's not healthy for him to do this.
02/29/2012
Contributor: LusciousLollypop LusciousLollypop
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
He brings up ex-lovers when you're having sex? Hell, I'm not a jealous person, but if My Man EVER did that, (but he wouldn't) I'd call our Safe Word (because that would be too much pain) and then have a serious talk with him. ... more
@P'Gell, Thank you. We have a bdsm relationship and he "likes" to humiliate me. I told him afterwards I didn't like him mentioning his past relationships while having sex or even hearing their damn name now because it pisses me off to the point where I just want to slap him. When I told him that.. He understood. He hasn't mentioned their "names" in awhile but still talks to one of them on a daily basis.. which I have no problem with if it is completely innocent. You are amazing. Thank you. <3
02/29/2012
Contributor: Chae Chae
I get jealous sometimes if it comes to comparing pasts...the differences come up, like he was married and has a daughter...i have never been married and have no kids, both things that i want and would like to have with him someday, maybe. it makes me feel like why did he already get to experience these things with his ex wife, and with me it's like he's hesitant to even discuss our future? very frustrating. makes me question everything about us, and it shouldn't because it is in the past, and I should be worrying about the here and now, I know.
02/29/2012
Contributor: TheCleansing TheCleansing
I used to. Not really anymore.
02/29/2012
Contributor: Ahatmadeofshoes12 Ahatmadeofshoes12
Not remotely a jealous person. My partner is with me now and the past doesn't matter.
02/29/2012
Contributor: J Peach J Peach
Not at all. That's in the past, meaning before me. I'm what's present. I don't dwell on that stuff.
03/07/2012
Contributor: libbyv libbyv
Quote:
Originally posted by LavenderSkies
Poll
no, just curious to know what/who he's done
02/10/2013
Contributor: PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
I did for a long time, but it doesn't bother me as much now. I guess the things that get me the most are how much more effort he put into birthdays, Christmas, and Valentine's day for an ex girlfriend of his. He doesn't seem to care about much of that with me and I'm his wife! He felt like he had to buy her in order for her to stay. I understand that. But just because you don't have to 'buy' my affection, doesn't mean you should make less of a deal on those big days.
02/10/2013
Contributor: Passion plum Passion plum
Sometimes but I'm his present so that's all that counts.
02/10/2013
Contributor: woodsdragon woodsdragon
I picked other because I am more jealous of the time I missed out on with my husband before we started dating. We are 5 years apart so meeting much younger wouldn't have really worked, but I hear about the heartbreak and emotional issues one of his ex's caused and it just breaks my heart. I didn't even know him then, but I can feel the pain when he talks about it. We have been together for almost 5 years now - married for 5 months. So, it's not that I am jealous of his ex's and I know his experiences made him into the man I love. I just sometimes wish he came into my life sooner
02/10/2013
Contributor: IvyFayette IvyFayette
I'm easily jealous and I know it's a problem. Due to low self-esteem, former mental abuse from exes, cheating, etc. I always feel when he talks about another girl from his past he is thinking about her in a way he shouldn't. Somethings I don't just get jealous about but pissed off also like how before we met he met a random girl on the train and was fingering her within 5 minutes of knowing her, not knowing if she might have something or not.
02/10/2013
Contributor: mjtheprincess mjtheprincess
I used to reallly bad. Mostly because his past include his ex girlfriend who he dated for four years...more so because that same girl consistently tried to talk to him/call him/ find reasons to see him. Talk about something that makes you insecure! but i have improved exponentially in my jealousy I trust my man completely!
02/11/2013
Contributor: charmedtomeetyou charmedtomeetyou
(Review Program Mentor)
No, the past is the past...and there is nothing in his that I wish had happened with me. Even if I did wish it, I'm not one to dwell.
02/11/2013
Contributor: B/C I CAN B/C I CAN
A lot of my boyfriends ex's still bother us just to see if they can get to me, but they don't get to me themselves. I do however feel completely uncomfortable seeing anyone who has been with my boyfriend. Mostly just the girls that throw themselves at him bother me, and I don't like hearing the past. Otherwise I would be fine.

I have him and they don't, but sometimes they are so aggressive to talk to him it's unreal. It's always odd to love someone who is being stalked by an ex.
02/11/2013
Contributor: featherhead featherhead
I hate it when my GF compares me with a past GF (Who just happens to be her BFF from childhood) when we fight.
02/11/2013
Contributor: souviet souviet
Quote:
Originally posted by LavenderSkies
Poll
nope.
02/11/2013
Contributor: nova2014 nova2014
I got jealous of my partner's past a lot when we first started dating but now it's lessened though the jealousy pops up every so often especially if he gets in contact with the people I have issues with from his past
02/11/2013
Contributor: SMichelle SMichelle
No, not at all. He's with me now, not them.
02/11/2013
Contributor: spiced spiced
She never talks about it. The one time we did, I learned that she'd never had an actual relationship before me, just a couple of hookups.

She's actually met 2 of my 3 ex-girlfriends (and liked them both). She also met the only guy I ever had sex with, but she doesn't know that I had sex with him. She doesn't like him, because he smokes!

She's not jealous of my past. I don't bring it up and neither does she.
02/11/2013
Contributor: Stagger13 Stagger13
Quote:
Originally posted by LavenderSkies
Poll
Let the past stay in the past.
02/12/2013
Contributor: ImportPerv ImportPerv
Quote:
Originally posted by LavenderSkies
Poll
Jealousy, in moderation, is healthy.
02/16/2013
Contributor: Beautiful-Disaster Beautiful-Disaster
Yes! I don't like to think of any of my boyfriends past relationships! I'm just a very jealous person..
02/18/2013
Contributor: libbyv libbyv
Quote:
Originally posted by LavenderSkies
Poll
no, in fact, hubby gets turned on to hear about mine
03/12/2013
Contributor: Munko Munko
I used to. I'm not the most secure person, and he has been with many more partners than I have. For some reason when we were younger and fairly new, he felt the need to randomly share details. Because he comes from a small town where a lot of my family is also from, I knew many of these girls he'd been with, or at the very least had met the majority - I really didn't need the details, combined with the very clear visuals. I don't mind knowing who he's been with, or how many...but what happened during their sexual experiences isn't something I've ever cared to know and for a long time wasn't something I was able to let go of. He's since stopped sharing the details, and 8 years in there is a lot more comfort and security now than before. I still don't like to think about the things he's told me though, but I no longer feel insecure or jealous about them really.
03/13/2013