The New Intimacy

Your Call: Can She Ask Him to Cut Off Contact with a Past Love?

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Contributor: Em & Lo Em & Lo
An EMandLO.com reader recently asked us link (who happens to be his cousin -- they're Pakistani, it's complicated...). What do you think? Is it reasonable to ask a partner to cut off all contact with an ex you're friends with (never mind related to), or even throw out all evidence of the past relationship (i.e. burn old love letters)? Or is it a matter a trust? Doesn't one's past experiences -- lovers and all -- make them the person you fell in love with in the present?
-- Em & Lo
12/15/2011
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Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by Em & Lo
An EMandLO.com reader recently asked us link (who happens to be his cousin -- they're Pakistani, it's complicated...). What do you think? Is it reasonable to ask a partner to cut off all contact with an ex you're friends with (never mind ... more
As long as the x in question isn't trying to break them up or meddle into their relationship, she really has no right asking him to do that. She needs to get over her jealousy and insecurities.

I have had boyfriends try to tell me I have to do this with my x who is a best friend. It doesn't fly with me. I treat the x how I do any of my friends, guys or girls, x's or not. If they try to meddle or disrespect our relationship, they are out.
12/15/2011
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
I've found that cutting out an ex entirely is best in the short run, unless there are kids involved.

In the long run? Things can settle out and people move on.
12/15/2011
Contributor: sexystuffeve sexystuffeve
It is perfectly resonable to want that I know I personally would want that depending on the seriousness of the relationship. I also know I wouldn't have trouble doing so if my boyfriend asked me to do it either.
01/18/2012
Contributor: nova2014 nova2014
I don't think she has the right to ask that of him. As long as he's upfront and truthful with her it can be annoying and discomforting but it's still not her place.
03/20/2013