I will confess that there was once a time when I felt intimidated and threatened by dildos, vibrators, and the like. My self perpetuating fear was that my girlfriend at the time (and current lovely girlfriend ) Would start to push me out of sex in favor of her new found clitoral stimulator out of the simple fact that they "just did a better job than me". I have since gotten over that fear as we have experimented with a few toys in the past few weeks and it's incredibly hot to use one on her or watch her get herself off. But here I am simply asking for opinions; does it physically feel better in a way that is just better than any other man could do for you, no matter what his sexual prowess or how well he may be endowed? We both agreed that it was a special experience for both of us, and in a way, deeply romantic. So my ultimate question is, (generally speaking) is it physically better feeling to a woman who is masturbating with her vibrators/dildos, etc. than doing these things in a fun sexual act? I just don't want to become an obsolete model, but if it is what it is then I am just happy that she is able to enjoy her sexuality to the fullest extent, especially if she allows me to join in with her some times.! Any feedback would terrific! Thank you everybody!
Are sex toys REALLY moe enjoyable with partners or is this just said to protect the egos of the other partner?
07/10/2010
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I'm not a woman, but think about it: when someone (of any body type) is using sex toys on themselves they know exactly what's going to happen. When someone else is using the toys on them they don't know what's going to happen. Think about yourself - does it feel better masturbating yourself or getting a hand job from your partner?
07/10/2010
Getting off is getting off.
My guy likes to watch me use my vibrators and dildos but he always ultimately can't stand it and we have sex. We do incorporate toys into our sex acts, i.e., I use my vibes on his balls or shaft while going down on him, and we do DP scenarios, but it's supplemental to our sex life. We live far away from each other and this is why I buy vibrators and dildos. He watches porn and gets off with his hand, I think about Christoph Waltz and go to town on myself with a vibe.
My guy likes to watch me use my vibrators and dildos but he always ultimately can't stand it and we have sex. We do incorporate toys into our sex acts, i.e., I use my vibes on his balls or shaft while going down on him, and we do DP scenarios, but it's supplemental to our sex life. We live far away from each other and this is why I buy vibrators and dildos. He watches porn and gets off with his hand, I think about Christoph Waltz and go to town on myself with a vibe.
07/10/2010
Quote:
Well, I'm a bit confused at what your question is because the title of the post and the questions asked don't match up to me.
Originally posted by
sandblastedskin
I will confess that there was once a time when I felt intimidated and threatened by dildos, vibrators, and the like. My self perpetuating fear was that my girlfriend at the time (and current lovely girlfriend ) Would start to push me out of sex in
...
more
I will confess that there was once a time when I felt intimidated and threatened by dildos, vibrators, and the like. My self perpetuating fear was that my girlfriend at the time (and current lovely girlfriend ) Would start to push me out of sex in favor of her new found clitoral stimulator out of the simple fact that they "just did a better job than me". I have since gotten over that fear as we have experimented with a few toys in the past few weeks and it's incredibly hot to use one on her or watch her get herself off. But here I am simply asking for opinions; does it physically feel better in a way that is just better than any other man could do for you, no matter what his sexual prowess or how well he may be endowed? We both agreed that it was a special experience for both of us, and in a way, deeply romantic. So my ultimate question is, (generally speaking) is it physically better feeling to a woman who is masturbating with her vibrators/dildos, etc. than doing these things in a fun sexual act? I just don't want to become an obsolete model, but if it is what it is then I am just happy that she is able to enjoy her sexuality to the fullest extent, especially if she allows me to join in with her some times.! Any feedback would terrific! Thank you everybody!
less
But here goes my opinion on how sex toys are in my relationship. Some..no MOST of my toys are better to use with my husband, or to have him use on me. In all honestly my husband knows how to please me more than I know how to please myself. His intensity is far more than the intensity that I use on myself. So whether he's using his hand or a dildo or vibe or whatever it might be..he's awesome at it and the experience is more pleasurable than it'd be on my own. Not only physically but also mentally and emotionally because we're connecting and I just find it plain hot!
That being said, there are a few toys that I can get off more on my own with. These are the toys that take me longer to orgasm with. They're ones that I go slow with, and aren't a quick fix and are usually the ones that aren't really good for thrusting. For us that'd just be boring to use them when we were together. It's not that the toys are better than sex with him..because they absolutely or not and if I had a choice between being with him that second or using a toy he would win every time. I guess I just don't like using certain toys with him because they wouldn't spice up our time together..in fact they'd more than likely dull it down. So, those toys remain there for my solo times.
Thing is, no matter how awesome a toy is, they cannot take the place of a live person. There's just so many difference between the two. I know sometimes men feel that they can't compete..but really it's not a competition. It's two completely separate things. And women are quite content with a man even if his penis can't vibrate or spin round and round. (Although even my husband says it'd be pretty awesome if his penis could rotate like some of the rabbit vibes do!)
07/10/2010
Quote:
Thanks for the great post! I had always been interested in sex toys with a partner and I guess I just had to wait for the right one But at the same time I had the same fear that all guys have about toys (I am convinced that ALL men see dildos or vibrators as an affront to their manliness AT LEAST once.) Truth of the matter is once we got her vibrators in the mail, she let me use it on her before she even tried it on herself, which made me feel pretty privileged. Once we got going I wondered what all of those irrational fears were about previously! We both found it very sexy and hot! In all seriousness we actually found it to be incredibly romantic and sensual. My previously held preconceptions about sex toys are largely gone as me and my lovely saw immediate improvements in our sex lives.
Originally posted by
Alicia
Well, I'm a bit confused at what your question is because the title of the post and the questions asked don't match up to me.
But here goes my opinion on how sex toys are in my relationship. Some..no MOST of my toys are better to use ... more
But here goes my opinion on how sex toys are in my relationship. Some..no MOST of my toys are better to use ... more
Well, I'm a bit confused at what your question is because the title of the post and the questions asked don't match up to me.
But here goes my opinion on how sex toys are in my relationship. Some..no MOST of my toys are better to use with my husband, or to have him use on me. In all honestly my husband knows how to please me more than I know how to please myself. His intensity is far more than the intensity that I use on myself. So whether he's using his hand or a dildo or vibe or whatever it might be..he's awesome at it and the experience is more pleasurable than it'd be on my own. Not only physically but also mentally and emotionally because we're connecting and I just find it plain hot!
That being said, there are a few toys that I can get off more on my own with. These are the toys that take me longer to orgasm with. They're ones that I go slow with, and aren't a quick fix and are usually the ones that aren't really good for thrusting. For us that'd just be boring to use them when we were together. It's not that the toys are better than sex with him..because they absolutely or not and if I had a choice between being with him that second or using a toy he would win every time. I guess I just don't like using certain toys with him because they wouldn't spice up our time together..in fact they'd more than likely dull it down. So, those toys remain there for my solo times.
Thing is, no matter how awesome a toy is, they cannot take the place of a live person. There's just so many difference between the two. I know sometimes men feel that they can't compete..but really it's not a competition. It's two completely separate things. And women are quite content with a man even if his penis can't vibrate or spin round and round. (Although even my husband says it'd be pretty awesome if his penis could rotate like some of the rabbit vibes do!) less
But here goes my opinion on how sex toys are in my relationship. Some..no MOST of my toys are better to use with my husband, or to have him use on me. In all honestly my husband knows how to please me more than I know how to please myself. His intensity is far more than the intensity that I use on myself. So whether he's using his hand or a dildo or vibe or whatever it might be..he's awesome at it and the experience is more pleasurable than it'd be on my own. Not only physically but also mentally and emotionally because we're connecting and I just find it plain hot!
That being said, there are a few toys that I can get off more on my own with. These are the toys that take me longer to orgasm with. They're ones that I go slow with, and aren't a quick fix and are usually the ones that aren't really good for thrusting. For us that'd just be boring to use them when we were together. It's not that the toys are better than sex with him..because they absolutely or not and if I had a choice between being with him that second or using a toy he would win every time. I guess I just don't like using certain toys with him because they wouldn't spice up our time together..in fact they'd more than likely dull it down. So, those toys remain there for my solo times.
Thing is, no matter how awesome a toy is, they cannot take the place of a live person. There's just so many difference between the two. I know sometimes men feel that they can't compete..but really it's not a competition. It's two completely separate things. And women are quite content with a man even if his penis can't vibrate or spin round and round. (Although even my husband says it'd be pretty awesome if his penis could rotate like some of the rabbit vibes do!) less
07/10/2010
Quote:
I think that's how a lot of the fears are formed, by not knowing. I think once most men use toys with their partner they realize that it's not meant as a substitution for them. I was actually watching Hal Sparks: Charmegeddon, and he has this one joke where he talks about there's no way he could compete with sex toys...the joke was funny as hell, but I couldn't help thinking that I didn't think he'd ever gotten the opportunity to use the toys WITH the women!
Originally posted by
sandblastedskin
Thanks for the great post! I had always been interested in sex toys with a partner and I guess I just had to wait for the right one But at the same time I had the same fear that all guys have about toys (I am convinced that ALL men see dildos or
...
more
Thanks for the great post! I had always been interested in sex toys with a partner and I guess I just had to wait for the right one But at the same time I had the same fear that all guys have about toys (I am convinced that ALL men see dildos or vibrators as an affront to their manliness AT LEAST once.) Truth of the matter is once we got her vibrators in the mail, she let me use it on her before she even tried it on herself, which made me feel pretty privileged. Once we got going I wondered what all of those irrational fears were about previously! We both found it very sexy and hot! In all seriousness we actually found it to be incredibly romantic and sensual. My previously held preconceptions about sex toys are largely gone as me and my lovely saw immediate improvements in our sex lives.
less
07/10/2010
Sandblastedskin - think about it! If a woman is just interested in an orgasm she doesn't need you - she doesn't even need a toy. Every woman I've ever met has a wide range of emotional and physical needs - not to be rude - but the better you are at filling them, the more likely she is to keep you around.
I never met a woman who found insecurity attractive - be loud and proud - there's a hell of a lot you can do that those toys can never replicate!
I never met a woman who found insecurity attractive - be loud and proud - there's a hell of a lot you can do that those toys can never replicate!
07/10/2010
My man is just happy I can cum, whatever it takes to do it is alright with him.
07/10/2010
It realllly depends on the toy. Some are so much fun to add a partner to while others I just want to control myself.
07/10/2010
Quote:
It's always better for me when we use toys together. I'm not sure why, but I think I just get aroused more when he's involved.
Originally posted by
sandblastedskin
Thanks for the great post! I had always been interested in sex toys with a partner and I guess I just had to wait for the right one But at the same time I had the same fear that all guys have about toys (I am convinced that ALL men see dildos or
...
more
Thanks for the great post! I had always been interested in sex toys with a partner and I guess I just had to wait for the right one But at the same time I had the same fear that all guys have about toys (I am convinced that ALL men see dildos or vibrators as an affront to their manliness AT LEAST once.) Truth of the matter is once we got her vibrators in the mail, she let me use it on her before she even tried it on herself, which made me feel pretty privileged. Once we got going I wondered what all of those irrational fears were about previously! We both found it very sexy and hot! In all seriousness we actually found it to be incredibly romantic and sensual. My previously held preconceptions about sex toys are largely gone as me and my lovely saw immediate improvements in our sex lives.
less
07/11/2010
First of all, vibrations for us women feel wonderful. And no man (no matter how good or big or whatever) can vibrate (at least not without the use of some other toy). And a lot of women need clitoral stimulation to climax - not something that men can really do with their "parts" all that well during sex. So the use of a toy can really enhance your sex life. And keep your partner satisfied. And even thought sure, we can use them by ourselves, I for one, find it much more enjoyable to share my sexual experiences with my hubby as it helps keep our emotional bond strong and our sex life good.
07/11/2010
A Toy is just a tool. I am in Love with My Man. I am NOT "in love" with any of our toys. Yeah, they really do help me find my orgasm, which sometimes hides from me. But, on the times when I use toys by myself, it's just for "relief." I am completely honest in saying it is NOT as satisfying as sex with or without toys with My Man. I don't even COUNT the orgasms I have alone, it's just....medicinal more than anything.
With him, having sex, there is connection to an other human, if we are using toys then the toy is an extension of HIM, and takes on new meaning. I would rather have two orgasm WITH him than have 20 with a toy alone. Although, to be honest, the sex is always better WITH him. I come harder, I like it better, I walk around with a huge smile on my face. I can't say that orgasms I get from my toys alone do that for me.
Because of a High Orgasmic Threshold, which has developed in the past 2 years or so, I need a strong vibrating toy to have an orgasm, but I also NEED him to help me. The time that I NEED with him using that particular toy is only a few minutes out of hours of sex, yeah, we have times where we use toys for more than just that first orgasm, and then it's just for fun. But, it's ALWAYS better with him, even though I need a strong A/C toy to "get there."
He can do A LOT of things that no toy can do. NO TOY can go down like that man can, no toy can wrap it's arms around me and growl, no toy can MAKE me happy on it's own. No toy can LOVE ME.
I don't know what else to say. Toys are tools. If you baked a cake from scratch with a mixer, instead of mixing the batter with your fingers alone would it be any less than a cake? No, the "toy" helped the process, although it wouldn't have happened without human intervention. (OK, dumb analogy, but it's the best I can do at the moment.) The toys don't work on their own, they don't have feelings and they CAN'T substitute for a relationship. They don't pant after sex and agree with you, "Damn, that was fuckin amazing, wasn't it?" There is more to sex than just orgasm, and even orgasm is better with a MAN holding the toy, and holding ME, and LOVING ME from my view.
With him, having sex, there is connection to an other human, if we are using toys then the toy is an extension of HIM, and takes on new meaning. I would rather have two orgasm WITH him than have 20 with a toy alone. Although, to be honest, the sex is always better WITH him. I come harder, I like it better, I walk around with a huge smile on my face. I can't say that orgasms I get from my toys alone do that for me.
Because of a High Orgasmic Threshold, which has developed in the past 2 years or so, I need a strong vibrating toy to have an orgasm, but I also NEED him to help me. The time that I NEED with him using that particular toy is only a few minutes out of hours of sex, yeah, we have times where we use toys for more than just that first orgasm, and then it's just for fun. But, it's ALWAYS better with him, even though I need a strong A/C toy to "get there."
He can do A LOT of things that no toy can do. NO TOY can go down like that man can, no toy can wrap it's arms around me and growl, no toy can MAKE me happy on it's own. No toy can LOVE ME.
I don't know what else to say. Toys are tools. If you baked a cake from scratch with a mixer, instead of mixing the batter with your fingers alone would it be any less than a cake? No, the "toy" helped the process, although it wouldn't have happened without human intervention. (OK, dumb analogy, but it's the best I can do at the moment.) The toys don't work on their own, they don't have feelings and they CAN'T substitute for a relationship. They don't pant after sex and agree with you, "Damn, that was fuckin amazing, wasn't it?" There is more to sex than just orgasm, and even orgasm is better with a MAN holding the toy, and holding ME, and LOVING ME from my view.
07/15/2010
Another thing to keep in mind: most women can have multiple orgasms, most men can't. For some women the first orgasm takes the longest. In short, I'm saying that if you use toys, tongues and hands to give her one or more orgasms and then start with PV sex some women find it more likely that they'll orgasm during sex.
It's also fun to be able to coax orgasms out of your partner period.
It's also fun to be able to coax orgasms out of your partner period.
07/15/2010
Quote:
ScottA - exactly. We use the toys to bring on that first orgasm that takes the greatest effort - that leaves her ready for #2 and maybe even #3 with me in control. It takes the pressure off for both of us.
Originally posted by
ScottA
Another thing to keep in mind: most women can have multiple orgasms, most men can't. For some women the first orgasm takes the longest. In short, I'm saying that if you use toys, tongues and hands to give her one or more orgasms and then
...
more
Another thing to keep in mind: most women can have multiple orgasms, most men can't. For some women the first orgasm takes the longest. In short, I'm saying that if you use toys, tongues and hands to give her one or more orgasms and then start with PV sex some women find it more likely that they'll orgasm during sex.
It's also fun to be able to coax orgasms out of your partner period. less
It's also fun to be able to coax orgasms out of your partner period. less
07/15/2010
Quote:
In short, no it doesn't feel better or replace a loving time with a partner. No way, no how. That having been said it is amazing when you can share your masturbation openly with a partner or partners. The orgasm from solo masturbation can be a simple release or it can be slightly frustrating if you really would rather be with a partner. It can be amazing and leave you satisfied as well. DO I prefer a dildo to my men's cocks? Hell no. Do I like it when they use my dildo on me? OH ya and no I don't say this to protect their egos...they are the best lovers I have ever had and my toys don't measure up but I love my toys cause they can be a quick fix and they are fun. They are in addition to the raunchy, sublime, hot and sensual sex I have with my partners, they could never replace them.
Originally posted by
sandblastedskin
I will confess that there was once a time when I felt intimidated and threatened by dildos, vibrators, and the like. My self perpetuating fear was that my girlfriend at the time (and current lovely girlfriend ) Would start to push me out of sex in
...
more
I will confess that there was once a time when I felt intimidated and threatened by dildos, vibrators, and the like. My self perpetuating fear was that my girlfriend at the time (and current lovely girlfriend ) Would start to push me out of sex in favor of her new found clitoral stimulator out of the simple fact that they "just did a better job than me". I have since gotten over that fear as we have experimented with a few toys in the past few weeks and it's incredibly hot to use one on her or watch her get herself off. But here I am simply asking for opinions; does it physically feel better in a way that is just better than any other man could do for you, no matter what his sexual prowess or how well he may be endowed? We both agreed that it was a special experience for both of us, and in a way, deeply romantic. So my ultimate question is, (generally speaking) is it physically better feeling to a woman who is masturbating with her vibrators/dildos, etc. than doing these things in a fun sexual act? I just don't want to become an obsolete model, but if it is what it is then I am just happy that she is able to enjoy her sexuality to the fullest extent, especially if she allows me to join in with her some times.! Any feedback would terrific! Thank you everybody!
less
07/17/2010
My bf was concerned about involving a dildo/vibrator in our sex life for similar reasons, but for me, solo time with my vibrator is pretty boring and unfulfilling. In fact, I rarely get it out if my boyfriend isn't around. I need his participation for sure. As someone said above, sex toys are just a tool to enhance sex, not a substitute for a real person.
07/26/2010
Quote:
Good point here. Nice comment. But is this promoting the use of sex toys in this advice during sex, or saying it's better without them? I think you might be saying that in a way doing it to yourself can be better because you know exactly what you're doing and how you're going to do it. Although I myself like it better when my husband does things. I love the surprise and I prefer the way he touches me over the way I touch myself. I can't do the things to me that he does to me.
Originally posted by
ScottA
I'm not a woman, but think about it: when someone (of any body type) is using sex toys on themselves they know exactly what's going to happen. When someone else is using the toys on them they don't know what's going to happen. Think
...
more
I'm not a woman, but think about it: when someone (of any body type) is using sex toys on themselves they know exactly what's going to happen. When someone else is using the toys on them they don't know what's going to happen. Think about yourself - does it feel better masturbating yourself or getting a hand job from your partner?
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08/01/2010
In my relationship, toys are merely a tool of the trade so to speak. Since my man has had erectile difficulties long before I met him, we were forced to find other was of taking care of each other, whether it be his hands, tongue, or any one of a menagerie of toys. The use of toys strengthened our sexual relationship, as well as emotional relationship. This issue also forced us to get more creative, and to this day I can't predict what is going to happen when we go play next. But all in all, a toy is in no way better than a human, they are cold, emotionless, mechanical devices, designed to aid in achieving orgasm. And I think they always feel better when someone else is using them on me. It is kind of the same principle as, you can't tickle yourself. But the best feeling in the world is flesh against flesh.
08/02/2010
I'd say it's true. For me, there have been toys which have done little to nothing for me on my own, or been "fine" - any prolific reviewers will get my point when I say there are sometimes ones that are perfectly good but just nothing new, different or exciting... Then he picks one up and... woah. Totally different.
I blogged not long after about it, wondering if it was better angles, or being more turned on with him than alone... The reality is it's probably a bit of both.
Another line where I feel toys REALLY come into their own for us is for anal play. I love anal, but sometimes need a little help to be as comfortable as I know I can get to - and I have a vibrating butt plug that is phenomenal at that job. Personally, I tend to pop that in and set it buzzing away while we have (vaginal) sex, meaning I get to have my man inside me AND get buzzies. Then after a while, it comes out and he takes it's place - it relaxes the area just enough to allow considerably more... vigour. Shall we say!
*daydreams*
sorry, I'm back now!
I blogged not long after about it, wondering if it was better angles, or being more turned on with him than alone... The reality is it's probably a bit of both.
Another line where I feel toys REALLY come into their own for us is for anal play. I love anal, but sometimes need a little help to be as comfortable as I know I can get to - and I have a vibrating butt plug that is phenomenal at that job. Personally, I tend to pop that in and set it buzzing away while we have (vaginal) sex, meaning I get to have my man inside me AND get buzzies. Then after a while, it comes out and he takes it's place - it relaxes the area just enough to allow considerably more... vigour. Shall we say!
*daydreams*
sorry, I'm back now!
08/02/2010
I actually prefer using toys alone, as I tend to get tense when masturbating for my partner - kind of like I'm performing.
However, no form of masturbation, toys or no, is comparable to actual partner sex at all. Toys get me there faster, but the orgasms aren't nearly as strong. And then there's that whole emotional connection thing, too.
However, no form of masturbation, toys or no, is comparable to actual partner sex at all. Toys get me there faster, but the orgasms aren't nearly as strong. And then there's that whole emotional connection thing, too.
08/11/2010
Quote:
ABSOLUTELY! You hit the nail on the head. This is one of the main reasons we use toys. Not the sole reason, but one of the main ones!
Originally posted by
ScottA
Another thing to keep in mind: most women can have multiple orgasms, most men can't. For some women the first orgasm takes the longest. In short, I'm saying that if you use toys, tongues and hands to give her one or more orgasms and then
...
more
Another thing to keep in mind: most women can have multiple orgasms, most men can't. For some women the first orgasm takes the longest. In short, I'm saying that if you use toys, tongues and hands to give her one or more orgasms and then start with PV sex some women find it more likely that they'll orgasm during sex.
It's also fun to be able to coax orgasms out of your partner period. less
It's also fun to be able to coax orgasms out of your partner period. less
Thank you, Scott.
08/11/2010
both. my gf gets pissed at me still for using a vibrator when she would rather be pleasuring me or me pleasuring her.
11/04/2010
Quote:
A woman's multiple orgasm capability is precisely the reason we always start with toys. I always make sure she has 1 or 2 before intercourse - even then I try to hold off 'til she has 1 or 2 more before getting off.
Originally posted by
P'Gell
ABSOLUTELY! You hit the nail on the head. This is one of the main reasons we use toys. Not the sole reason, but one of the main ones!
Thank you, Scott.
Thank you, Scott.
It's great fun!
11/04/2010
Total posts: 23
Unique posters: 17