The New Intimacy

After You And Your Partner Have A Huge Argument....

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Contributor: js250 js250
Remember, this is a huge blow out, you both are a bit bitter and have said things to hurt the other person. (For once this is not happening in my life right now, but my best friend and her hubby had a huge fight and she is pretty upset.)

-How long does it take for all the love and good feelings to come back?
-Do you need time to build back the feelings due to the hurtful words?
-Does this ever change your relationship for the better or worse?
05/01/2013
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Contributor: Ciao. Ciao.
My partner and I have been together 10+ years, so we've had our fair share of disagreements from small to a couple big blowouts. The short answer is always "it depends."

Ultimately a lot of it is about both people re-centering, making apologies where needed, and then putting things back together. It's very reasonable to feel hurt and need some time, but it's also important to move forward. I don't know that arguments big or small always result in changes (good or bad) but they can. The key is that if the relationship is strong, and communication good, things can be worked through.
05/01/2013
Contributor: Mr. John Mr. John
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
Remember, this is a huge blow out, you both are a bit bitter and have said things to hurt the other person. (For once this is not happening in my life right now, but my best friend and her hubby had a huge fight and she is pretty upset.)

-How ... more
We've been married longer than most. We have had many an argument over the years. We have done the yelling and screaming. The arguments still occur, but I tend now to simply go up to my game room and hibernate for awhile. My wife will checkup on me from time to time. When I feel as though I've worked through the issues, I return to the living. Be it good, or bad, we remain happily married.
05/01/2013
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Thankfully this has not happened to us - but I grew up in a household where my parents fought all the time. They both died fairly young from cancer - but they admitted that the stress and anxiety played a roll in their early death (Mom was just 54 - my Dad was 67).

By the time they were about 50 they reconciled and things were 'more normal' but the damage had been done.

This is why I left my first wife after just 2 years - I saw a repeat of my parents life - something I would not allow to happen.
05/02/2013
Contributor: RaspberryRogue RaspberryRogue
The longest it's ever took to get back to lovey dovey again was a few days, but I think the main reason why it took so long was because we weren't living together at that point. I ended up going to his house and we made up after a few hours, but boooy was it bloody (not literally.) Nowadays we don't have big fights like that anymore, but I think the last time it took about a day or so to get back to normal. There isn't really any building back feelings now because after our big fights earlier in the relationship we'd talk it out and say that it's not cool to ever name call and say such hurtful things. I'm not sure if it changed our relationship. If it did, I guess it was for the better, since we're still together and happy. However, if I could have chosen to never go through all that and never fight with him again, it'd be very tempting lol.
05/13/2013
Contributor: Hummingbird Hummingbird
Almost 29 years together and we've never had a big blowout though I often wish we had. I don't know about him but I keep it all bottled up inside afraid to hurt him. He's always kept any unwelcome thoughts to himself and I'm sure he must have them, probably why he's on high blood pressure Meds. We do disagree and don't talk for a day about once a year but that's as bad as it gets for us.
05/14/2013