The New Intimacy

When Foreplay Hardly Works--Other Methods?

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Contributor: Envy Envy
I know foreplay is pretty important when it comes to getting into 'the mood' but what happens when it doesn't work? Are there other methods you guys use when foreplay just isn't enough?

I ask this because just kinda messing and having those help me know myself more, but have been told I'm 'difficult.' Not that it's necessarily bad (I do get off in the end) but was just wondering what's up and if it's a common thing at all. I know some people have sensitive spots, such as neck, nipples, etc, but I don't seem to have any sensitive spots to speak of. Nothing causes me to have that feeling of 'melting' and really being turned on. Was wondering how this can be changed, if it's just how someone can be, a mental block, etc.

Any ideas? Anyone else like this? Is there a way to work around this? If so, how do you work around it?
05/10/2012
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Contributor: Antipova Antipova
I'm not the same as you in this way, but here's what I'd recommend trying out---read an erotica anthology and see if you notice yourself getting turned on or excited by any of the ideas. If so, have you and your partner try something similar.

If you're not much of a reader, try porn instead. See what stimuli get your responses goin' Then experiment!
05/10/2012
Contributor: Envy Envy
While I do get turned on by written material (not much for visual porn), even with ideas carried over I got nada. I get ramped up with cybering, but when it comes to in-person stuff, it's a total shut down. Really strange.
05/12/2012
Contributor: Envy Envy
Anyone else have something to contribute?
05/30/2012
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Is there any chance you are on any medications that could be dulling your sex drive? Anything from the birth control pill, to medications for hypertension, to antidepressants and other medicines can dull your sex drive.

You may want to bring it up with your doctor and maybe substitutions can be made, if this is the problem.
05/30/2012
Contributor: Envy Envy
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Is there any chance you are on any medications that could be dulling your sex drive? Anything from the birth control pill, to medications for hypertension, to antidepressants and other medicines can dull your sex drive.

You may want to bring ... more
I am getting off lamictal, but it's not affecting my drive. The problem I have, and I've had it with every single guy I've dated, both when on and off medications, is that I don't seem to have any 'hot spots' that turn me on. I was wondering if this is normal.

For example, guy i was just with, kissing his neck causes him to get really turned on, same as the guy I saw before him. For me, it does nothing. I've had my neck licked, my nipples played with, back rubbed, ears nibbled, feet played with, etc, and nothing seemed to get me going at all. I was somewhat aroused, yes, but nothing seemed to really spark anything that felt really good. No extreme feelings of pleasure, no 'melting' as they say. I wonder if this happens and if it's normal for some people, that some just don't 'feel' like others do. It just bothers me because I admit I get bored, lying there while the guy does whatever and I just want to hurry up and finish and move on.
05/30/2012
Contributor: Envy Envy
It's been a few months and no one else has said anything--anyone else have any ideas what could be causing this or if it's normal?
07/14/2012
Contributor: konicaguy konicaguy
My wife is the same way. I imagine it's more common than anyone is admitting...
07/15/2012
Contributor: Envy Envy
Quote:
Originally posted by konicaguy
My wife is the same way. I imagine it's more common than anyone is admitting...
Really? I am curious to how that works out in the relationship. Could you possibly share some things on how you both work it out for those of us who have a hard time accepting it as who we are? (I'm sure a lot of people struggle with acceptance of it.)
07/16/2012