Why is he being so distant?!!

Contributor: AshMegYo AshMegYo
Ever since my man got back from Basic Training (Back in December '11) he's been so distant. Or well, it comes off that way. He doesn't want to hold my hand and he rarely ever wants sex anymore. He isn't the same person it seems. Maybe I'm taking it personally or seem too needy but it just hurts me. This is the same thing that happened with the last guy I dated (we were together almost 2 years)...he stopped being "cuddly" and wouldn't hold my hand or want to have sex with me in any way, he wouldn't text me or call me hardly. Idk, I just feel like pretty soon it's going to be an empty relationship. Has this happened to anyone else? Is it normal? I've tried talking to him about it and all he does is complain that I'm so needy and all this other crap and it really hurts my feelings.
06/22/2012
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Contributor: js250 js250
This has happened to a few friends of mine. The military can drastically change a person and make them act in a more rigid and guarded manner. In my opinion, the lifestyle of the person in Basic Training is made to break them down to nothing and then build them up to being a soldier. This has a drastic change with how they interact with the people that are pre-military or 'civilian'. Again--my own opinion!!! God luck-hope you two can work through this and be amazingly happy together!
06/23/2012
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
This has happened to a few friends of mine. The military can drastically change a person and make them act in a more rigid and guarded manner. In my opinion, the lifestyle of the person in Basic Training is made to break them down to nothing and ... more
I agree with js. I've seen this happen to both my friend's boy friends and husbands. Not all of them, but some. I don't see it as much in women, I don't know why. It seems more common in guys who have seen combat, but some who have just gone through Basic Training.

I'm so sorry this is happening to you.

I know someone has to do these jobs, and I admire our soldiers, but some guys just change dramatically, while some don't. I don't know why.
06/23/2012