The New Intimacy

Why Do you go to the Club/Bar

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Contributor: petite-n-sweet petite-n-sweet
My boyfriend and I had a heated discussion about why people go to bars and clubs. We of course are in disagreement. I was wondering what you guys think about it, because after hearing his argument I am starting to question mine..

I listed all the reasons we both came up with on why people go to the club or bar. Please list your prominent reason (even though there may be more than one reason) You can pick one reason for clubs and one for bars.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
I don't go to clubs or bars (please explain why)
34
I go to bars to drink
38
I go to bars to flirt
4
I go to bars to hang out with friends
64
I go to bars to play pool, video games, or eat
19
I go to bars to find someone to 'hook up' with
3
I go to bars to talk to the bartender or other regulars
6
I go to clubs to dance
43
I go to clubs to hang out with friends
45
I go to clubs to flirt
6
I go to clubs to drink
19
I go to clubs to find someone to 'hook up' with
6
I go to clubs to people watch/ be around people
19
Other/ Please let me know what I missed
7
Total votes: 313 (120 voters)
Poll is closed
09/27/2010
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Contributor: onehotmomma onehotmomma
I used to go to the bars after work with all my co workers to drink, and hang out. Now I'm more grown up and have kids. I go to the bar occasionally, to have a beer, or a drink and to hang out with my gal pals. It's nice to have a night out once in a while! I generally don't get time away as often as I should, so when I do I like to go out and socialize with someone other than a 2 1/2 year old
09/27/2010
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
I don't go to clubs or bars. I understand why people do, and I used to when I was younger but I have good reasons for not doing so now.

1) I have no desire to pick anyone up. That seems to be a prevalent reason for clubbing-bar hopping.
2) I don't really like to dance in public. I have a lot of reasons to not do so.
3) I hate hate hate hate other people's choice in music. I like MY music. Being forced to listen to someone else's music choices is torture. I listen to the music I like in my home or my car. I see no reason to subject myself to "other people's music" for any reason.
4) I hate hate hate hate loud places. I get migraines. Clubs are loud.
5) I don't drink, I never get drunk, and don't care to be around a lot of drunk people.
6) I hate cigarette smoke. I know this point is moot, now, with anti-smoking laws, but when I went to clubs and bars, you'd have to wash your clothes twice to get the stink out and I used to have to go outside, even in the dead of winter, just to breathe air that wasn't contaminated with cigarette smoke.
7 I don't like large groups of people. Especially loud people. Especially loud drunk, and or stoned people. I enjoy talking to people in small groups or one on one. Shouting and not being able to be intimate, because the surroundings are loud and anti-intimate are make me nervous.

I understand a lot of people love clubbing, but it just isn't my thing, and never was.

It isn't my thing.

I'd rather go to a small intimate gathering of people I already know, or spend a quiet evening at home with My Man, or go on a day trip to a museum or park. Boring to some, maybe. But, it's been a while since I was 21.

More power to those of you who enjoy it, though. You have tougher ear drums than I do.
09/27/2010
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
I don't go because I can't dance (by order of law), dislike over-priced drinks, and devoted to my girlfriend...not need to go out to a club.
09/27/2010
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
I want to go to one of those 1930's nightclubs, places where Nick and Nora Charles would go, to enjoy some well-played live jazz and big band music and even floor shows, and everyone is mostly well-behaved and there isn't that nervous energy thing going on. Where there is a bit of drinking and socializing and you can hold a conversation with someone. And people dress up, not just throw on a tube top or a baseball cap. And there isn't that awful light show thing going to cause seizures. And people danced together, not just do spasm-y movements.

Something classy.

*sigh* Not in this day and age.
09/27/2010
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
I want to go to one of those 1930's nightclubs, places where Nick and Nora Charles would go, to enjoy some well-played live jazz and big band music and even floor shows, and everyone is mostly well-behaved and there isn't that nervous energy ... more
Oh, hell yeah. I could do that. That would be fun. I LOVE dressing up. In 30s or 40s dress would be even better.
09/27/2010
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Oh, hell yeah. I could do that. That would be fun. I LOVE dressing up. In 30s or 40s dress would be even better.
The modern club scene just isn't ... romantic enough. (Okay, I'll say it again - it's NOT CLASSY. At least not in my area.)
09/27/2010
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
The modern club scene just isn't ... romantic enough. (Okay, I'll say it again - it's NOT CLASSY. At least not in my area.)
I don't think it's romantic at all.
09/27/2010
Contributor: Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
I don't go to 'clubs'. I very rarely go to bars and when I do it's just because that's where my friends are meeting up. But I'm there to socialize, have a few appetizers, and maybe a drink. Rarely more than that, and I don't stay long.
09/27/2010
Contributor: Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
I don't go to 'clubs'. I very rarely go to bars and when I do it's just because that's where my friends are meeting up. But I'm there to socialize, have a few appetizers, and maybe a drink. Rarely more than that, and I don't stay long.
Oh, and I should add I used to *have* to spend a lot of time in bars and clubs...my first husband was a sound tech and if I wanted to see him on a Friday or Saturday afternoon or night, I went to work with him....I got more than my fill then. And I agree with P'Gell on the smoke and the drunk people...yuck.
09/27/2010
Contributor: Envy Envy
I just don't go out. No car, too dangerous to walk around out at night, and usually I'm too busy playing games at the computer or I'm too tired.
09/27/2010
Contributor: Jobthingy Jobthingy
The rare time I do go its to a pub where there is a band and hang out with a group of friends.
09/27/2010
Contributor: petite-n-sweet petite-n-sweet
Well, from the votes so far, people who do go to the club or bar are not going to pick up people or flirt ..... Yay I may win this argument!

I love to dance and I love to be around drunk people, and yes I am a major flirt. I actually prefer clubs over bars because to me bars are just places to get drunk and hit on people. At least in some clubs you can actually dance...

The modern club scene is definitely not romantic... thats why I couldn't see using it for dating opportunities.
09/27/2010
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
I only go to one bar that also happens to be a dance club, at least it's billed that way on the website, and it caters to gay men, so I'm definitely not there to pick anybody up. I go to have a drink or two, socialize with some friends, and sometimes watch the male strippers, lol
09/27/2010
Contributor: gone77 gone77
I've been to a few bars, but clubs and bars have never been my scene. I don't dance, I don't want to hook-up with anyone, and the drinks are ridiculously over-priced. I'll just go to a friend's house and drink and socialize.
09/27/2010
Contributor: Lady Venus Lady Venus
I clicked other as for one there is only 1 bar in my local area and it sucks balls. When I used to go to the bar years ago it was mainly to drink and to socialize - and dance or course.

These days I only go to the bars if I am leaving town and headed to the city, which is about once a year. I usually end up at the strip clubs or the gay bars. I'm not a drinker, so I have no urge to go to the bars. And plus, drunks who gets in your face and think they can put their filthy paws all over you piss me off, and I end up telling someone off!

I'd rather stay in and drink, at my own home where I know I am safe and dont have to look for a sober driver.
09/27/2010
Contributor: Alan & Michele Alan & Michele
It's been awhile since we've gone to a club, but when we do it's just to dance.
09/27/2010
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
I go to clubs and bars for all the reasons listed EXCEPT to drink, hah. I go there to see bartenders I like, talk to regulars, meet up with friends, find someone to hook up with, but I almost never go there to drink.

Obviously I buy a drink so that I'm not just sitting at the bar or whatever taking up space, but I usually have a few drinks before hand because drinking in a bar or club is waywayway too expensive especially in my area. Like $10 for a drink? Plus cover? No thanks. However, if someone else is buying I have no problems drinking lol, I just know for the money it would take me to get drunk inside a bar I could be buying groceries or something.
09/27/2010
Contributor: Kindred Kindred
I don't go to clubs or bars anymore, but I used to go clubbing quite a bit in high school and college to hang out with friends and dance.
09/27/2010
Contributor: LikeSunshineDust LikeSunshineDust
Going out for me is about the socializing and hanging out with friends. Hell, I can drink at home for way cheaper. Some of our local bars also have trivia nights and that's always fun.
09/27/2010
Contributor: Viktor Vysheslav Malkin Viktor Vysheslav Malkin
Quote:
Originally posted by petite-n-sweet
My boyfriend and I had a heated discussion about why people go to bars and clubs. We of course are in disagreement. I was wondering what you guys think about it, because after hearing his argument I am starting to question mine..

I listed ... more
Call me crazy, but I go to drink first and foremost. Secondly, a good game of pool is always good, but you gotta watch out for dicks who take it all too serious and the guys who are always wanting to bet you.

To be honest though, I'd like to go to the liquor store and get me a good rum or vodka and chill out at home with friends.
09/28/2010
Contributor: sexysweetieshan sexysweetieshan
I just don't go to bars or clubs. My husband is not a dancer, we only drink at home, we're not looking for a partner or hook up or flirting or anything like that, so we really see no reason in going.
09/28/2010
Contributor: LikeSunshineDust LikeSunshineDust
Honestly, I've heard that a bar or club is a terrible place to meet someone. Although I guess if you were just looking for a hookup, you might find one at a club.
09/28/2010
Contributor: sarahbear sarahbear
I love to dance and it was all I could do to wait until I turned 18 so I could get into a club. I went a grand total of 3 times before I was sick of it. I have asthma and am very allergic to cigarette smoke. I can't handle the atmosphere with all the heavy smoking in the closed-in space.

I also am married now and have no need to go to that sort of club, where you meet people to have one-night stands with. Even if I wasn't married, I don't really do one-night stands because I can't have unattached, meaningless, casual sex. It's cool for other people, but that's not what I looked for pre-marriage.

I think people go to clubs to drink, dance and meet people.
09/28/2010
Contributor: Alicia Alicia
Well, I haven't been to a club in like 10 years..when I did go it was to dance and hang out with my friends. It was never really my thing, but I do like to dance and one of my friends wanted to go to a gay bar and so we went and I had a blast..we ended up going a few times because it was such a fun atmosphere and I dind't have to worry about guys trying to get all up on me since they were more interested in him! Nowadays the only club I would be going to is a club that was having a concert at it, and even then I'd have to really like the band because I really hate clubs..I'd much rather go to an outdoor concert.

Bars I usually only go to karaoke bars if anyhting, and then I go to hang out with friends and sing. The only other time I've gone to a bar is if they have pool tables and we've gone to shoot pool and hang out with friends. oh I did go bar hopping in NYC for my bachelorette party with my friends..but we all just went to have fun and hang out. I've never gone to a bar to pick up guys because I've been with my husband since I was 20...so since I've been legal to drink I've always been taken.
09/29/2010
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
You missed a key part to this question. Is this single or with my partner?

I voted for what I do though. 1. Dance 2. Hang out with friends 3. Drink

It's the same for clubs as bars to me. But I guess the bars I go to are more like clubs. If you are talking about hole in the wall bars, we play pool and drink.
09/29/2010
Contributor: Liz2 Liz2
I enjoy going to clubs but I go with my b/f and usually with another couple. I enjoy dancing,flirting,teasi ng and talking but my b/f is with me. We don't drink all that much, expensive and DUI concerns. I am convinced that the police are just waiting for patrons to leave....
09/29/2010
Contributor: mrs.mckrakn mrs.mckrakn
i dont usually go. but when i do its to drink chill and enjoy my company.
10/01/2010
Contributor: Selective Sensualist Selective Sensualist
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
I don't go to clubs or bars. I understand why people do, and I used to when I was younger but I have good reasons for not doing so now.

1) I have no desire to pick anyone up. That seems to be a prevalent reason for clubbing-bar ... more
Oh, wow . . . I could have written every single word of this post.

Ditto.
10/01/2010
Contributor: sexyhellokitty sexyhellokitty
I would go just to go out for the night with my hubby and friends.
10/01/2010