What's your biggest relationship deal-breaker? - from Em and Lo

Contributor: Em & Lo Em & Lo
This week on EMandLO.com, we asked our Wise Guys what their #1 relationship deal-breaker is, and they answered across the board, from lack of chemistry to cheating to communication breakdown. What would your answer be? What's the one thing you absolutely positively couldn't get beyond in a relationship?
02/15/2011
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Contributor: TeaganChase TeaganChase
Lack of communication. If you cant tell me whats going on just in general you wont be able to when things get rough ever.
02/15/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
A combination of lack of trust and lack of communication. I need to be able to trust you, or I'm not going to be as open with you, and I need you to communicate with me, because if we can't tell each other what's wrong when it's something little, then how are we supposed to fix something big if it ever happens?
02/15/2011
Contributor: Yoda Yoda
I'm married now, thank God. But when I was dating, it was two things: a)If the person "can't" commit. b)If they're too opinionated or condescending. As a righty or a lefty, it didn't matter.
02/15/2011
Contributor: namelesschaos namelesschaos
Other then the a lack fundamental of any relationship: trust, communication etc. I'd have to smoking, if you are a heavy smoker I'm leaving. My father is dying of lung cancer and I'm his primary care giver and I don't want to have to go through this again.
02/15/2011
Contributor: Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
A combination of lack of trust and lack of communication. I need to be able to trust you, or I'm not going to be as open with you, and I need you to communicate with me, because if we can't tell each other what's wrong when it's ... more
My thoughts exactly Sam! Are you in my brain again this morning ?
02/15/2011
Contributor: xxx xxx
Lack of passion for me/the relationship is a big dealbreaker for me. I dated a guy once who was just so mild-mannered, he didn't seem like he cared if he EVER heard from me again, but he continued to insist he liked me. I ended up breaking up with him over his lack of initiative. I don't need men to do *all* the work but at least try
02/15/2011
Contributor: Joie de Cherresse Joie de Cherresse
Simply put - cheating. That's something I won't put up with. I give no reason for my man to go any where else and if he chooses to stray then he can stay gone. I also need to feel loved. I need a man to keep me aware that he loves me and cares for me. If he can't do that, then he's no the man for me.
02/15/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Redboxbaby
My thoughts exactly Sam! Are you in my brain again this morning ?
Possibly... *strokes invisible goatee*
02/15/2011
Contributor: Crash Crash
I need to be able to trust them, so any lie I catch them in will be a big deal. I can't date a liar.
02/15/2011
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
Lack of direction. No ambitions? No goals? No drive? We're not going to work out.

Excessive drug use, shitty/conservative politics and vanilla sex are also deal breakers. Also, anyone interested in monogamy will probably not find themselves with me for long.
02/15/2011
Contributor: That Guy That Guy
I honestly don't know anymore. A deal breaker really gets tested when you've been together as long as we have, but I think sexual incompatibility is probably toward the top of the list for me.
02/15/2011
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
I'm glad I don't have to worry about this now. When I was single though, I'd have to say religious conservatives and militant non-smokers were the top two. I can't really remember the rest...it's been more than 3 years.
02/16/2011
Contributor: VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
Cheating is the deal breaker for us, though we trust each other completely and we wouldn't ever do that So yeah, we're pretty solid.
02/16/2011
Contributor: Envy Envy
Cheating/non-commitmen t is what would break it for me. You cheat on me and we're done, no ifs, ands, or buts.
02/16/2011
Contributor: kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by Em & Lo
This week on EMandLO.com, we asked our Wise Guys what their #1 relationship deal-breaker is, and they answered across the board, from lack of chemistry to cheating to communication breakdown. What would your answer be? What's the one thing you ... more
If a guy doesn't take care of himself,what I mean by that is eat all day and get fat or any kind of drug addiction. I won't even look at the guy. It's hard to chose the #1 relationship breaker it depends on the guy like if he does take care of himself but he has an incurable STD I just couldn't do it I am STD free and will remain that way forever. If the guy seems great but would obviously not work for me because we have nothing in common and don't like to do the same things...
02/16/2011
Contributor: liilii080 liilii080
Emotional abuse or neglect. If you shut me out emotionally, the connection dies and then what do we have left?
02/16/2011
Contributor: gone77 gone77
Lying and refusing to communicate. I will drop a person like a hot potato for that shit.
02/16/2011
Contributor: potstickers potstickers
Addiction, lying, abuse, cheating... lots of stuff, sadly. Glad I don't have to worry about that anymore.
02/16/2011
Contributor: Linga Linga
I could and work through most things like addiction and lack of communication as long as the other person is willing to work on it too. Deal breakers for me are cheating, abuse, constant lies and deception and an unwillingness to work on the relationship.
02/17/2011
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
Yeah, I agree with much of what's been posted here. Lying, cheating, abuse, addiction (and refusal to get help for it), total unwillingness to communicate... those are the main things I can think of.
02/19/2011
Contributor: Choolz Choolz
I'm now happily married but, several things would make me drop someone it's hard to narrow to down to just one.
SMOKING, no communication, lying/cheating, any kind of abuse, not being family oriented, other things but those are the main ones.
02/19/2011
Contributor: Tuesday Tuesday
There are many dealbreakers for me including drug or alcohol problems and laziness, but the top thing is the inability to compromise.

It could be that the reason that tops my list is because before I met my husband, the last person I dated and I were incredibly compatible except that he never would compromise. He would verbally agree to a compromise, but with his actions he insisted on everything being his way.
02/19/2011
Contributor: Danielle1220 Danielle1220
I hate people who are conceited, so that would be my number one dealbreaker.
02/19/2011
Contributor: toxie m toxie m
Racism. I couldn't be with anyone ignorant and hateful, I feel like that would just be a trait that would come out in other circumstances of the relationship as well.
02/19/2011
Contributor: Bunnycups Bunnycups
Controlling and manipulating personalities. I want to be an equal partner.
02/19/2011