So I'm back on the dating scene and have already decided how I would like to go about explaining to men not only my work with EF but my toy collection, books, dvds, etc. It's a part of who I am and what I love to do and that's not going to change so if it's a problem early on, I know it's not the relationship for me. But this will be the first time I'm looking at new relationships with this particular ball up in the air. For those that have been dating and had to introduce their toy-reviewing toy collecting possibly kinky side to someone new, have you gotten mostly good reactions or bad?? I'm trying to prep myself for what to expect.
What kind of reactions have you gotten???
07/12/2011
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I really haven't had to do that, so I can't give you my personal experience with explaining anything other than a few vibrators. But I can tell you that if I had to do it now, I'd be up front but not shove it down his throat. If the conversation turns that way, or you start to talk about hobbies, then explain it. If he wants to see your whole collection, go ahead and show him. But if he doesn't, don't force it on him either. Start slow but be open is my advice.
07/12/2011
*grin* Master thinks this is the most awesome side gig I could have, and he definitely enjoys trying out various toys with me (and has even made a request for me to keep an eye out for one or two for himself). My girlfriend is also a member of Eden, so there was no wierdness there.
07/13/2011
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I think that's great advice and would second it.
Originally posted by
Jul!a
I really haven't had to do that, so I can't give you my personal experience with explaining anything other than a few vibrators. But I can tell you that if I had to do it now, I'd be up front but not shove it down his throat. If the
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I really haven't had to do that, so I can't give you my personal experience with explaining anything other than a few vibrators. But I can tell you that if I had to do it now, I'd be up front but not shove it down his throat. If the conversation turns that way, or you start to talk about hobbies, then explain it. If he wants to see your whole collection, go ahead and show him. But if he doesn't, don't force it on him either. Start slow but be open is my advice.
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Also I think in the long run that sharing kinks would take precedence over sharing a toy collection. Unless maybe using toys is your kink?
I say that because I think of kinks as something rooted in a desire that comes from inside a person, whereas sex toys are fun tools that can help reach pleasurable states. I guess in the long run I think toys are fun and useful but expressing inner desires is vital.
Then again, it's probably best to play it by ear and listen to your instincts about the whole thing. Best of luck!
07/13/2011
I think that, unless it really comes up, it isn't a first date subject but definatley should be brought up before things get serious! Don't hide it, but don't put it out there either! Just let things progress naturally!
07/13/2011
My Master was practically advertising his kink on the dating site with his screen name (knotty-or-nice)(surpr isingly nobody else responded), so there wasn't any awkwardness about him being a Dom and me being a sub. I did mention the sex toys in the third day of e-mailing, and he accepted it without any problems.
Innuendo in conversation helps a lot in finding out if someone's on your wavelength or not. Has to be in person so you can read their body language with their response.
Innuendo in conversation helps a lot in finding out if someone's on your wavelength or not. Has to be in person so you can read their body language with their response.
07/13/2011
Total posts: 6
Unique posters: 6