The New Intimacy

What Does the Giving of Jewelry Mean to You?

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Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
I know I'm old fashioned, that's simply how I am and how I was raised. I was raised to believe that the giving of jewelry between people who are dating to be a very serious matter; and not just engagement rings but any type of jewelry.

I had brought this up to Master during his visit when I was looking for a pocketwatch at a shop. He offered to buy it for me and I said "What? Giving me jewelry already? We've only just met!" he replied that a watch is a functional item, and therefor not strictly decorative. So, besides being an old-fashioned Englishman, he agrees with me that the giving of jewelry is a serious business.

So, guess what I got in the mail from him today? link

Yeah. Strictly decorative necklace. I'm in shock at the moment. I think he might be really serious about us.

So, poll time - how do you view the giving of jewelry?
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
Serious business.
newlady , MaryExy , ZenaidaMacroura , ~LaUr3n~ , Redboxbaby , CAKES , Kim! , DexterStratton , Sinfully , slynch , Gunsmoke , indiglo , married with children , Lummox , LadyDarknezz , woodsdragon , doowop
17
Whatever.
Ghost , sarki , Eucaly , MidnightStorm
4
Depends on where we are in the relationship.
MaryExy , Taylor , DeliciousSurprise , ZenaidaMacroura , ~LaUr3n~ , P'Gell , Waterfall , Redboxbaby , eggiweg , Diabolical Kitty , Kim! , Coralbell , Ansley , Sinfully , slynch , liilii080 , ToyBoy , indiglo , Naughty Student , Maeby , SadoMas , Gone (LD29) , GONE! , sXeVegan90 , mpfm , potstickers , TheHardOne , gsfanatic , doowop , mjtheprincess , dawnkye
31
It's expected.
newlady , ToyBoy
2
Never got/gave any.
Nacht Stern
1
The Llamas should decide.
DeliciousSurprise , ZenaidaMacroura , BBW Talks Toys , Naughty Student , A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople) , Gone (LD29) , Nacht Stern
7
Total votes: 62 (46 voters)
Poll is closed
06/27/2011
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Contributor: newlady newlady
That is a beautiful and unique piece of jewelry!
Jewelry is given for a reason between us too.
And after having been together for so long, I suppose I expect it a wee bit.
06/27/2011
Contributor: Taylor Taylor
I do think for the most part it is an indication that the relationship is serious because knowing what kind of jewelry someone likes is pretty intimate knowledge. However I also think it depends on what it is, how expensive it is, and the nature of the relationship.
06/27/2011
Contributor: MaryExy MaryExy
I consider jewelry very serious, unless it's one of the things from 75-cent machines. I think I find it serious because jewelry is so personal... You have to know a person pretty well to pick something that fits them. I think of giving jewelry as a mile-marker in the relationship (if it's after the engagement ring, it may be a bit less significant...)

I don't really expect jewelry, mainly because I'm a handmade, one-of-a-kind jewelry person. Small jewelry artists are my favorite people to buy stuff from. Occasionally I'll see a piece in Costco or something that I like, but handmade is my weak spot...

By the way, that pendant is gorgeous! Ready to melt yet?
06/27/2011
Contributor: ZenaidaMacroura ZenaidaMacroura
Wow. That is beautiful! You're a lucky woman.

I don't know what I think. I've never been in a relationship with the type of person to ever buy me jewelry, except for my ex when he bought me an engagement ring. I guess it depends on the situation. A piece like you got, yeah. That would seem to be some serious business. If my boyfriend bought me something like that...I dunno. I would love it, but it wouldn't mean as much. I don't think he's the type to think much of that sort of thing.
06/27/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
To me, necklaces and bracelets were never really a big deal. They were something decorative, something pretty that could be worn without having to have a big commitment. That's how my exes felt as well. Rings also seemed to doom the relationships as well. At least for me. I'm not sure why. When my husband and I dated in high school, he gave me a ring and we broke up a week later. The next boyfriend and I got cheap rings with each others names on them, and then when I got something nice, we ended up breaking up a month or so later. My last boyfriend got me a ring and we lasted about 9 more months, but they weren't fantastic months. I still have all the rings (the pretty ones anyway). Sometimes I wear them to accessorize, but I don't make a big deal out of them.

I think that necklace he got you is gorgeous, and it might not be a bad thing for him to be serious about you two.
06/27/2011
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
I can't even say that "It would Depend..." Frankly, I think that it depends on what it is and the reason behind wanting to give it.

Expensive fine jewelry? That would mean something totally different than say, a bracelet saying Live, Laugh, Love. Yanno? So, if I were dating someone and they got me some cute, adjustable rings that were purely decorative and fun, I wouldn't think anything of it. But a tennis bracelet? I would be shocked.

THIS? NBD...


THIS? BIG FUCKING DEAL!
06/27/2011
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
By the way, these are both items that are sold on Etsy... (bracelet) (rings) and if someone thought that those would look pretty on my fingers, I wouldn't turn them down... the rings that is... the bracelet? I'd rather have the cash!
06/27/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
I think it depends on the relationship.

I got a beautiful necklace from My Man for our first Christmas together after only 2 months of dating. He fell in love before I did (I was younger and didn't quite get it) but maybe it meant more to him than it did to me, in terms of "meaning something."

That's a beautiful necklace. Lucky woman!!
06/27/2011
Contributor: Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
It is a really big deal to me and to my husband, but to many of our friends it is nothing.

I am allergic to all things nickel as well as a myriad of other metals, so all my jewelry must be red, rose, white gold or platinum (even silver makes me blister up). Most of the time those are things that must be ordered or made special and equate to a huge expense. All my jewelry (my rings, earrings, bracelet and necklace with pendant) are pieces he has special ordered, had to travel to a specialty store to buy, or have had made to his specifications. Lots of time, planning, design and effort go into that - so, yes, it is a big deal to us.

I know, high maintenance, huh? It sucks.

The piece you got from him is beautifully timeless! Lucky girl.
06/27/2011
Contributor: Diabolical Kitty Diabolical Kitty
I love when jewelry is given.
06/27/2011
Contributor: Kim! Kim!
My sister was dating a guy at Christmastime who gave her a super-nice and fairly expensive necklace. They hadn't even been seeing each other for a month.
I found that sort of weird.
If my boyfriend bought me some sort of jewelry at this point I wouldn't object but we've been together for well over a year. Of course, he'd have to find something that I would actually like and want to wear and I'm sort of picky. Even if I didn't like it, I would probably wear something he bought me just because he bought it but I'd rather not be in that situation.
06/27/2011
Contributor: DexterStratton DexterStratton
I've bought jewelry for my woman, and I mean business. Never bought jewelry for anybody before. I guess it is old-fashioned.
06/27/2011
Contributor: Coralbell Coralbell
It depends on the type of jewellery, but in general I would consider it to be serious business!
06/28/2011
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
In fourteen years, I have received six pieces of jewelry. Two rings, one bracelet, two replicas of a single earring I used to wear and lost (three times) and a heart-shaped diamond studded pendant.

I'm not a huge fan of that kind of stuff in the first place so I don't give it much thought one way or the other. It certainly is not something one should expect out of a relationship.
06/28/2011
Contributor: Sinfully Sinfully
I love when a guy gets me jewelry!
06/28/2011
Contributor: liilii080 liilii080
Depends where we are in the relationship. If you're unsure though, why not ask him. I've spent a lot of time overanalyzing things in relationship and still come to the wrong conclusion. If you don't want to ask him directly, then I say enjoy it and be happy without worrying about what it means.
06/28/2011
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
'Real' jewelry is a big deal - 'costume' jewelry not so much. It's like going to dinner at McDonalds doesn't mean anything - going to premier steak or seafood restaurant is.
06/28/2011
Contributor: sarki sarki
Doesn't mean much to me but I'm not into jewelry
06/28/2011
Contributor: ToyBoy ToyBoy
Depends on how nice the jewelry is. I've given jewelry after a month before, but it was just sterling silver and turquoise. If it is diamonds or something like that, it is serious, but jewelry in general isn't a big deal to me.
06/28/2011
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
'Real' jewelry is a big deal - 'costume' jewelry not so much. It's like going to dinner at McDonalds doesn't mean anything - going to premier steak or seafood restaurant is.
Yeah, that's pretty much how I feel. It isn't the jewelry in and of itself, it's what kind of jewelry it is. Real jewelry seems like a serious statement. In fact, I remember the first time my man bought me real jewelry. I told my aunt, and the first thing she said was "is it serious?" Real jewelry is like some kind of code or something.
06/28/2011
Contributor: Naughty Student Naughty Student
It depends on the jewelry and the relationship.

My guy has bought me a gorgeous ring on a trip in the west. It is a labradorite ring. I had been wanting labradorite for a long time and found a gorgeous ring and he offered to buy it for me. It didn't mean anything other than his lovong kindess and generousity.

If it was a gold/silver ring with dimonds on it, or even a special necklace or bracelet and it was offered to me by him out of the blue in a romantic way...then yes, it would be serious.

It's so ironic that this post has been made, as someone close to me was offered an engagement ring by their partner and they have only been together for about 3 months or so. The couple consider themselves engaged but oddly do not see it as the big deal that it is. I hope everything goes well if the relationship ends.
06/29/2011
Contributor: Eucaly Eucaly
It shouldn't be expected at particular "stages" of a relationship. It should depend on what the people in the relationship think is right.

Non-serious jewelry doesn't mean much, and "serious" jewelry can be a big financial burden that both people ultimately have to bear if they are serious enough to merge their finances.
06/29/2011
Contributor: Maeby Maeby
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
'Real' jewelry is a big deal - 'costume' jewelry not so much. It's like going to dinner at McDonalds doesn't mean anything - going to premier steak or seafood restaurant is.
I agree. I'd also hate to receive costume jewelry from a significant other, unless it was very tastefully made to look like the real thing (assuming the real thing is way out of budget).
06/29/2011
Contributor: SadoMas SadoMas
Depends on where we are in the relationship.
08/13/2012
Contributor: GONE! GONE!
I think it depends on the price of the jewelry in question and the stage of the relationship. There's a huge difference between, say, giving someone a costume ring because you knew they would like it and giving them an expensive ring.
08/13/2012
Contributor: LadyDarknezz LadyDarknezz
I've always viewed it as something quite serious.
08/13/2012
Contributor: sXeVegan90 sXeVegan90
I've always viewed it as very serious, and that is a BEAUTIFUL steampunk design necklace.
08/13/2012
Contributor: woodsdragon woodsdragon
I think it depends on the item. For example...my fiance has bought me rings out of those quarter vending machine things = cute/sweet, but not serious. On the other hand he bought me beautiful butterfly earrings = serious. Obviously engagement ring = serious too lol
08/13/2012
Contributor: MidnightStorm MidnightStorm
Honestly, I don't really think it means anything. XD
10/10/2012