The New Intimacy

What are your biggest first date turn-offs? - from Em and Lo

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Contributor: Em & Lo Em & Lo
One reader on our website says that a woman told him, on a first date, that she was looking for a husband, and then proceeded to ask if she could have a closer look at his teeth. Which is pretty much a dealbreaker for everyone, we would guess... unless you're harboring a dental assistant fantasy.

So what are the worst faux pas that you've experienced...or committed... on a first date? What would you say are your biggest first-date turn-offs?

Check out what our Wise Guys had to say about THEIR first-date turn-offs here, by the way.
07/07/2010
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Contributor: Kynky Kytty Kynky Kytty
Oh my god, I was coming on this site to start a post about dating turn offs, because I've been reading a few profiles on a dating site.

Haha, I know it's not yet at dating, but I get totally turned off by the I'm-a-hot-car analogy and metaphors.

For dating, I hate when a guy brags about what he owns. As if it would make me like him more, I get so insulted.
07/07/2010
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
When I did date (which wasn't long) the biggest turn off for me was religious people. I'm not a religious person. I have my beliefs and I don't go on and on and on about them.

Another turn off was the party girl. I'm a stay at home, quality time together kind of guy. If she went on and on about partying and smoking pot, I wrapped up the date as soon as I could.

Another turn off was when she showed up looking NOTHING like the pictures she'd shown me. I'm pretty sure this is the same for both sexes!
07/07/2010
Contributor: fatesrelease fatesrelease
Quote:
Originally posted by Em & Lo
One reader on our website says that a woman told him, on a first date, that she was looking for a husband, and then proceeded to ask if she could have a closer look at his teeth. Which is pretty much a dealbreaker for everyone, we would guess... ... more
Ugh, one of the worst things that ever happen to me was that I went out to a nice restaurant with this guy and he actually started picking his teeth with the fork. I was mortified and asked if he wanted me to give him some floss so he could go to the bathroom and take care of it. He then proceeded to go "NOPE, almost got it, the little *******" Lets just say it was our last date.
07/07/2010
Contributor: Envy Envy
Any mention of doing drugs, vulgar comments/flirting too soon in the date, being compared to other girl friends/exes/wives/wha tevers, being told what I 'should' do because I'm a woman, etc.

I am a very picky person, I can't help it.
07/07/2010
Contributor: Kynky Kytty Kynky Kytty
Quote:
Originally posted by Envy
Any mention of doing drugs, vulgar comments/flirting too soon in the date, being compared to other girl friends/exes/wives/wha tevers, being told what I 'should' do because I'm a woman, etc.

I am a very picky person, I can't help it.
Same thing for me.
07/07/2010
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
"I like everything about you except the fact you're fat."
07/07/2010
Contributor: Blinker Blinker
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
"I like everything about you except the fact you're fat."
This person deserves a punch in the throat!
07/07/2010
Contributor: Blinker Blinker
Bad hygiene is a definite no-no, as is mentioing Star Wars or Star Trek on the first date.
07/07/2010
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by Blinker
Bad hygiene is a definite no-no, as is mentioing Star Wars or Star Trek on the first date.
Wait...Star Wars and Star Trek are bad on the first date?!?! Since when?
07/07/2010
Contributor: Blinker Blinker
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
Wait...Star Wars and Star Trek are bad on the first date?!?! Since when?
Well on the first date you don't want to get into a huge battle over things like Picard vs. Kirk and all that.

But I guess it could be a GOOD thing. You don't want to waste time with a girl who wants to know what the "aluminum falcon" is. And Trekkies have been known to fight Star Wars fans to the death.

Makes for a messy first date.
07/07/2010
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by Blinker
Well on the first date you don't want to get into a huge battle over things like Picard vs. Kirk and all that.

But I guess it could be a GOOD thing. You don't want to waste time with a girl who wants to know what the "aluminum ... more
I've seen that movie too!
07/07/2010
Contributor: Envy Envy
Quote:
Originally posted by Blinker
Bad hygiene is a definite no-no, as is mentioing Star Wars or Star Trek on the first date.
Ah yes, I agree there too. A guy can look good, be funny and nice as hell, but if his BO reeks, HELL NO, lol.

And I've been around some pretty bad BO before, working in a motel, eesh.
07/08/2010
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
I agree with the bad hygiene and worst of all...bad breath.
If YOU ask me on a date...YOU are paying.
07/08/2010
Contributor: Annemarie Annemarie
Quote:
Originally posted by Em & Lo
One reader on our website says that a woman told him, on a first date, that she was looking for a husband, and then proceeded to ask if she could have a closer look at his teeth. Which is pretty much a dealbreaker for everyone, we would guess... ... more
I was once asked where I was in my menstrual cycle on the first date. It was strikingly funny after a certain The Big Bang Theory episode, but before that, it was pretty much a turn off.
07/08/2010
Contributor: Blinker Blinker
Quote:
Originally posted by Annemarie
I was once asked where I was in my menstrual cycle on the first date. It was strikingly funny after a certain The Big Bang Theory episode, but before that, it was pretty much a turn off.
Ew!
07/08/2010
Contributor: Envy Envy
Quote:
Originally posted by Annemarie
I was once asked where I was in my menstrual cycle on the first date. It was strikingly funny after a certain The Big Bang Theory episode, but before that, it was pretty much a turn off.
Eww, looks like someone was more interested in the dessert than anything else!
07/11/2010
Contributor: Kynky Kytty Kynky Kytty
Quote:
Originally posted by Annemarie
I was once asked where I was in my menstrual cycle on the first date. It was strikingly funny after a certain The Big Bang Theory episode, but before that, it was pretty much a turn off.
Maybe he wanted to know if he could score that night or not.
07/11/2010
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by Annemarie
I was once asked where I was in my menstrual cycle on the first date. It was strikingly funny after a certain The Big Bang Theory episode, but before that, it was pretty much a turn off.
Umm...he probably has a fetish. Ick.
07/11/2010
Contributor: Sir Sir
Biggest turn-off? If the person questions me about my life. If it's a first date, you better not be asking me why I'm doing what I'm doing, because it's none of your damned business.

Another one? A lot of makeup and overdone hair. I think that it's cute when a girl looks like she spent a lot of time, but I do not like so much makeup either. Just some soft foundation, maybe mascara, but that's it.
07/11/2010
Contributor: usmcwife99 usmcwife99
Quote:
Originally posted by Em & Lo
One reader on our website says that a woman told him, on a first date, that she was looking for a husband, and then proceeded to ask if she could have a closer look at his teeth. Which is pretty much a dealbreaker for everyone, we would guess... ... more
Well ive never had this problem but my turn offs would be

well heres the big ones, ausomeing you speek english

-unpatriotic but wants to enjoy the american goverment
-racist
-against gay marrige(granted ime stright)
07/14/2010
Contributor: BluePixi BluePixi
Quote:
Originally posted by Em & Lo
One reader on our website says that a woman told him, on a first date, that she was looking for a husband, and then proceeded to ask if she could have a closer look at his teeth. Which is pretty much a dealbreaker for everyone, we would guess... ... more
Bitching, the first Date I went on the guy and I sat in my car near his apartment and bitched about our lives + previous schools 'till I made an excuse and kicked him out about 1 am. This was repeated on a second date, needless to say I was "washing my hair" the next time he wanted to go out. While the experience was therapeutic it was because I got a good look at how unattractive such behavior is and good motivation not to repeat it.
01/13/2011
Contributor: Shellz31 Shellz31
A HUGE turn off is a guy showing TOO much interest before I decide if I'm that keen yet.

Plus a guy who has to try to impress me with materialistic things he owns. Do guys think ALL girls are shallow and only want them for what they have?????
Really peeves me.
01/13/2011
Contributor: dv8 dv8
It turns me off when a woman spends more time talking about the things she dislikes rather than the things she likes.
01/13/2011
Contributor: bobowaxer bobowaxer
On a first date at a comedy club, I returned from the rest room to find my date up on the stage with two buttons opened on her shirt and a table of sailors chanting "show us your tits!...show us your tits!" I was like WTF happened here? Granted, we had been drinking but you gotta be freakin' kidding me! That was a bit of a turn off.
03/05/2011
Contributor: LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
Quote:
Originally posted by Annemarie
I was once asked where I was in my menstrual cycle on the first date. It was strikingly funny after a certain The Big Bang Theory episode, but before that, it was pretty much a turn off.
Ack!
03/12/2011
Contributor: Scarlette Scarlette
Too many personal questions.

im okay if you want to get to know, ask a one or two personal things. but if you want my life story on our first date, its a total turn off.

Im not going anywhere if I like you, we have all the time in the world to figure each other out.
03/12/2011
Contributor: TheHardOne TheHardOne
Bad hygiene & manners.
09/02/2011
Contributor: MissStormRyder MissStormRyder
Quote:
Originally posted by Em & Lo
One reader on our website says that a woman told him, on a first date, that she was looking for a husband, and then proceeded to ask if she could have a closer look at his teeth. Which is pretty much a dealbreaker for everyone, we would guess... ... more
I can not stand arrogant men or people that make a point to talk down to or demean others.
While in college I went out with a guy who was soooooooooo gorgeous and seemed at first to be a nice guy. On our first date we went out for dinner and from the moment we arrived at the restaurant he treated everyone like shit...like he was above them and they were there just to cater to him...I was so ashamed to be with with that I told him he was an asshole and walked out on him..Jerk!
09/18/2011
Contributor: K101 K101
OK, While reading that article, I got down to the last guys comment. He was titled single guy or something and I thought, 'no wonder you're single!' Lol. I felt like him saying a woman should at least pretend she's up for things that she really isn't is already starting a path to fakeness. Then he says he wants the woman to pretend she's more adventurous even if she isn't so that way he thinks she'll be possibly up for skinny dipping, sky diving or a THREESOME?! WTF. If she's NOT into something she shouldn't have to pretend to be just to please an arrogant jerk off. IMO

I've been in a monogamous relationship for 5 years so don't plan to ever date again, but the major turn offs would be rude-ness, having any kind of control issues, not being a gentleman, being arrogant or being rude to others/thinking more highly of themselves than others. Those are deal breakers. Call me old fashioned, but I'm more likely to be drawn to a person who I see caring about others. Now if yuu go out of your way to do something for an old lady, man or something similar, you have got my attention! This shows so many things about a person.

My partner and I knew of each other, went to the same school and had the same group of friends, but never really hung around each other until 5 years ago. Guess what really made him stand out to me? I had a killer migraine and we were at a graduation party and I was miserable. I didn't even feel like drinking. I laid down for a minute with a friend and he came in and sat down. He asked if I wanted to ride with him to the store and I said no. Later he showed back up and handed me a pack of BC powder! Ha Ha. First time I ever took em' and my headache was gone with the powder and a little (or a lot) of beer! Lol.

I ended up pretty drunk and this man who I'd grown up with his step-daughter ended up trying some disgusting moves on me (a teenager!) and insisted on taking me to the ladies room to pee. I was objecting, but he insisted I needed his help. The BC powder guy who's now my partner, stopped him and later I was passed out on the ground and literally could not get up on my knees without falling - he had a bottle of alcohol to my mouth and I was saying stop. I don't want more and the nice BC powder guy told him to stop since he'd heard me ask him to. That hooked me! I had gone back to the friends house the next day looking for him and he ended up finding my number and calling me. Those kind gestures got us together and now have had 5 amazing years together! Kindness is a major turn on to me.
09/18/2011