The New Intimacy

Question for guys - Pulling away

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Contributor: edeneve edeneve
edeneve
Related to: 
edeneve
in a straight couple situation, if a guy gets scared of his feelings for a lady & pulls away, how can the lady stop him from pulling away?
01/16/2013
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Contributor: Martiniman Martiniman
I can only answer as to my own situation. 20 years ago I reacted the exact same way with my wife. She didn't bat an eyelash and kept pushing forward with me. Not aggressive, but she didn't give up and she let her feelings be known very clearly how she felt about me. I'm so glad she didn't let me play the fool and walk away...she's easily the best part of my life. 20 years later and 2 kids, I'm still deeply in love with her and we laugh about how I tried to run away scared because of my confusing emotions about how I was feeling for her. Don't give up! If its worth having, it's worth fighting for! If you love him, fight for him!
01/16/2013
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by Martiniman
I can only answer as to my own situation. 20 years ago I reacted the exact same way with my wife. She didn't bat an eyelash and kept pushing forward with me. Not aggressive, but she didn't give up and she let her feelings be known very ... more
Pretty much exactly this, I did the same with my husband.
01/16/2013
Contributor: LoooveMonkey LoooveMonkey
Quote:
Originally posted by Martiniman
I can only answer as to my own situation. 20 years ago I reacted the exact same way with my wife. She didn't bat an eyelash and kept pushing forward with me. Not aggressive, but she didn't give up and she let her feelings be known very ... more
Cuuute, Martiniman.

But yeah. That's what I had to do, too. Man, if everyone has to do this all the time, men must be stupid about this a lot. o.O
01/19/2013
Contributor: imperialyellowdragon imperialyellowdragon
Quote:
Originally posted by edeneve
in a straight couple situation, if a guy gets scared of his feelings for a lady & pulls away, how can the lady stop him from pulling away?
don't give up. just be you.
12/28/2013
Contributor: edeneve edeneve
as a follow-up almost a year later. we got back together & than he ran away scared again. and just recently he's coming back to me though very reserved about it. this time around, I'm telling him he can't run away scared again because it's very hurtful for me. it's very clear we both have feelings for each other. I just wish he could be forthcoming & open w/ me about what he's going through. maybe he will in the near future. I hope so. btw, what he did when he ran scared was a pointed effort to hurt me.
12/28/2013
Contributor: Wicked Wahine Wicked Wahine
Quote:
Originally posted by edeneve
as a follow-up almost a year later. we got back together & than he ran away scared again. and just recently he's coming back to me though very reserved about it. this time around, I'm telling him he can't run away scared again ... more
Yeah, I'm not a guy, so what? I like you, so I am going to answer.

The pointed effort to hurt you is a deal breaker! He had two chances, why give him a third (after what I suspect was also a hurtful initial breakup, not just the second time). You are too good for this! I would also question how he can respect someone who lets him treat them this way.

Gosh, I hope you are not still trying to coax him along. Move on to someone whole and who knows what he wants, not someone scared of his own feelings and so conflicted he keeps repeating his mistakes! He has problems he needs to work on that are too deep for you to help him with, just my opinion. I wish you the best and this guy is not sounding like the best!
03/01/2014