The New Intimacy

Question about dating site please help?

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Contributor: michael scofield michael scofield
I haven't been on this site is over a year I use to very active but got busy and then forgot about this. before I start the question Im very shy guy in early 20's My problem is meeting woman I'm very shy. once I open up i don't have a problem talking and communicating. I tried a site before and had messaged woman and Received a lot of replies and compliments and i really liked one so picked her talked for a while an dated for a while. Now I tried again and never get any messages I found it odd not even one. I made a fake account and post pic of a girl and not even a min into it being made i had over 200 messages. Idk If its just so many men message girls they can't read mine or my profile sucks. below is my profile description what do you think about it? any recomendations please let me know. Thanks in advance hope someone can help. it shouldn't be long most people even leave it blank lol it just a box and its say "about me" and i can write what i want so this is what i have in my dating profile i decided to be brief and simple is it good?


Born and raised in NYC. Sarcastic and adventurous can be spontaneous at times.. I'm very family oriented. Simple laid back person looking to find someone who I can connect with. I enjoy jogging and living a healthy lifestyle. If you want to know more just ask. Please be positive I don't want negative energy in my life.


sorry for my grammar and punctuation i was rushing lol
06/10/2014
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Contributor: michael scofield michael scofield
Quote:
Originally posted by michael scofield
I haven't been on this site is over a year I use to very active but got busy and then forgot about this. before I start the question Im very shy guy in early 20's My problem is meeting woman I'm very shy. once I open up i don't have a ... more
please someone reply
06/10/2014
Contributor: PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
Quote:
Originally posted by michael scofield
I haven't been on this site is over a year I use to very active but got busy and then forgot about this. before I start the question Im very shy guy in early 20's My problem is meeting woman I'm very shy. once I open up i don't have a ... more
Dating is really hard, and fortunately is something I've never really had to deal with. That being said, I can still read your profile and tell you what stands out to me and what doesn't. I'm going to pretend I'm looking for a partner and I came across your profile.

The first thing I notice is that you're using sort of short, choppy sentences. Full sentences would show me that you're serious enough to really care how you come across. Don't be afraid to explain things a little more. I know it's not supposed to be long, but small changes could really make a big difference.

"If you want to know more just ask"

While this should come across as inviting, it makes me feel like I'll have to carry the conversation and try to get more information out of you.

You have a lot of great qualities, but I'm not sure you expressed them in the best way possible. The last line alone makes you sound a little insecure and kind of turns me off. Changing that sentence to something like,

"I love surrounding myself with positive people and am looking for someone who will bring some added joy to my life". Now that sentence makes me think, "This guy is fun, laid back, and doesn't 'do' drama".

You need something to really hook someone. Like I said, you have great qualities, but nothing really stands out.

Here's my take on the information you shared.

"Born and raise in NYC, I naturally developed a taste for adventure. I enjoy trying new things and being spontaneous, but I'm also grounded and family oriented (think of me as being well rounded). Some things I enjoy are jogging, [insert at least two other activities you enjoy]. I'm a simple, laid back person that's hoping to make a real connection with someone. Surrounding myself with positive people is important to me and I'm looking for someone who will bring a little extra joy to my life. If you're interested in getting to know me more, feel free to ask anything!"

Naturally you'd change it up and add your own style, but make it interesting! Make it sound positive and upbeat. Read what you write and think, "Would I want to get to know me based on what I wrote?" If the answer is no, than change it up a little bit!

Being shy is okay...a lot of women actually find it to be very attractive. But don't let it get in the way of making connections with people. You gotta gain a little confidence and see some good in yourself!

I wish you the best of luck!!

And as I said, I'm no expert with dating, but I hope this helps a little bit!
06/10/2014
Contributor: November November
Great advice PoP, you gave him some great feedback! I really like how you reworded what he said and put a positive spin on it. You're a very good writer.
06/11/2014
Contributor: RonLee RonLee
Make changes (improvements) everyday to your profile to keep it "fresh" in the site's "newest" list.
06/11/2014
Contributor: Wicked Wahine Wicked Wahine
Quote:
Originally posted by PropertyOfPotter
Dating is really hard, and fortunately is something I've never really had to deal with. That being said, I can still read your profile and tell you what stands out to me and what doesn't. I'm going to pretend I'm looking for a ... more
PoP, I agree with November, you did a really nice job helping out here and even though you say you don't have the experience, I think you'd have had a lot of success had you ever found yourself in a similar situation. Well done! I hope Michael finds this as helpful as we do. Michael, as a woman reading PoP's version of your profile, I have to say I would definitely respond to her version and less likely to yours exactly for the reasons she mentioned.

I'll add a little more...this should be what you think is most important for them to know about you and to grab their attention, right? That's why I think calling yourself sarcastic, for example, is not the best thing to highlight, even though it may well be true at times. Out of a specific context (where many people might find sarcasm funny), a person can easily think you will be sarcastic to them and find it a turn off when you maybe wouldn't do that at all. You might want to assume people will read into what you say, so you should be more positive if you want to attract positive people.

It might help you to list your qualities as bullet points and then arrange them in order of what you think best describes you and how you want to portray yourself. It will take some rearranging, but bouncing ideas off good friends or family will help, too. You can simply ask them if they think sarcastic or shy, for example, are things that instantly comes to mind when they think of you. You might be surprised to hear what they have to say and they may give you some ideas you hadn't considered for words to describe yourself. I think you were smart to ask about this; the more input, the better your chances of figuring how best to present yourself. Please, let us know if anything you do helps! I wish you luck!
06/12/2014
Contributor: Wicked Wahine Wicked Wahine
Quote:
Originally posted by RonLee
Make changes (improvements) everyday to your profile to keep it "fresh" in the site's "newest" list.
That's really smart, RonLee and not something I thought about before.
06/12/2014
Contributor: RonLee RonLee
Quote:
Originally posted by Wicked Wahine
That's really smart, RonLee and not something I thought about before.
Thank you but I'm not really that smart, just a little bit above average... LOL
However, sharing "best practices" helps us all to become a little bit smarter.
07/16/2014
Contributor: TexasBrat TexasBrat
Quote:
Originally posted by michael scofield
I haven't been on this site is over a year I use to very active but got busy and then forgot about this. before I start the question Im very shy guy in early 20's My problem is meeting woman I'm very shy. once I open up i don't have a ... more
Dating sucks. There's no other way to put it. You just have to be patient. Where there is as huge variety of choices to peruse from, dating can be a way to expand your horizons. Find out more about what you're willing to put up with & maybe even some new finds.
I'm right there with you. I don't go out to bars & I live in a small town so my options are limited. Good luck to you.
07/21/2014
Contributor: NJ casanova NJ casanova
Quote:
Originally posted by michael scofield
I haven't been on this site is over a year I use to very active but got busy and then forgot about this. before I start the question Im very shy guy in early 20's My problem is meeting woman I'm very shy. once I open up i don't have a ... more
I Never had any good success with them. I've had better luck going/doing things I like and meet women that like/are doing the same things. An example is seeing a band that you like at a club/bar, at least you have something to start off talking about.
10/21/2015