The New Intimacy

Phone sex?

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Contributor: omgmegg omgmegg
omgmegg
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omgmegg
Hey Guys,

Right now my boyfriend of 4 years is living 450 miles away and will be gone for the next 6 months for work. We've never really had a reason to try phone sex, so neither of us are very comfortable with being the first to try it. We've talked about it in the past, but I just can't find a way to make it less awkward. Does anyone have any ideas, or tips/tricks that you use or have used in the past?
06/11/2010
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Contributor: LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
Quote:
Originally posted by omgmegg
Hey Guys,

Right now my boyfriend of 4 years is living 450 miles away and will be gone for the next 6 months for work. We've never really had a reason to try phone sex, so neither of us are very comfortable with being the first to try it. ... more
Try perhaps describing a favorite fantasy or what you would be doing if he were there, in the room. Either one of you can do this while the other listens and let's the mood carry them where it may go.

If you both are fans of porn, one of you could watch a movie (or get the same movie and watch it at the same time) and describe what's going on and what you like about it. Hopefully you know each other well enough to know what kind of terminology you are comfortable using–and once you get going, it gets easier.

Mostly it's just having that thing to focus on so you know what to talk about at first. If you are both interested in trying it out, odds are you with both be excited by it and nobody is going to get upset or offended by what the other person says.

If you are the person who is doing most of the listening, make sure you give positive feedback– if you like it, say so, if it's getting you wet (or hard), say that too, or if you feel like moaning, be sure to do that. Words and sound are the tools you have to play with each other over the phone and let each other know that you are turned on.

Talk about it before hand. Agree that if someone laughs, it's ok, it's nerves and doesn't mean one person is laughing at the other. Laughter during sex can be really great and a good way to relax a little. Don't take it too seriously.
06/11/2010
Contributor: Sammi Sammi
It can be a bit awkward at first, but like Laurel said - once you get going it gets easier. The hardest part is being descriptive, since it's all aural and you can't see each other. Talking about it first is a good idea, and as long as you both want to do it, it will all work out ok.
06/11/2010
Contributor: Sir Sir
Well, my idea is just first tell your partner, while talking to them, that you're turned on. That's a good way to start. Or maybe even joke a bit about sex, or talk to them about sex in general. That might be a good way to start it off!
06/11/2010
Contributor: omgmegg omgmegg
Quote:
Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours
Try perhaps describing a favorite fantasy or what you would be doing if he were there, in the room. Either one of you can do this while the other listens and let's the mood carry them where it may go.

If you both are fans of porn, one of ... more
Thank you for all your advice. I think that with some practice, and understanding that we aren't laughing at each other....we can get over the awkward phase we're in right now.
06/16/2010
Contributor: Gary Gary
Quote:
Originally posted by omgmegg
Thank you for all your advice. I think that with some practice, and understanding that we aren't laughing at each other....we can get over the awkward phase we're in right now.
Anything can be weird the first few times... just don't think too much about it and go for it!
06/16/2010
Contributor: Cats Meow Cats Meow
Im in a long distance relationship and we talk alot online. Sometimes it can be easier to describe things over the internet than it can over a phone. Less awkward. Also we have webcams so seeing each other is awesome. I also agree with the first review, describing a fantasy or maybe something out of the norm that you haven't done yet, that you wanna try would work. good luck!
07/20/2010
Contributor: Gary Gary
I miss the REAL phone sex... the kind from back before everyone had caller ID.
07/21/2010
Contributor: Alicia Alicia
Once my husband and I were away from each other for a few weeks, we had phone/cam sex at least a few times a week..like Gary said, just don't think too much!
07/21/2010
Contributor: Sera Sera
Quote:
Originally posted by omgmegg
Hey Guys,

Right now my boyfriend of 4 years is living 450 miles away and will be gone for the next 6 months for work. We've never really had a reason to try phone sex, so neither of us are very comfortable with being the first to try it. ... more
Just start telling him how freaking sexy you think he is. It just happens...you know, one thing happens after another. Or tell him you're horny and wet and touching yourself. Works with mine all the time.
08/07/2010
Contributor: GravyCakes GravyCakes
Quote:
Originally posted by omgmegg
Hey Guys,

Right now my boyfriend of 4 years is living 450 miles away and will be gone for the next 6 months for work. We've never really had a reason to try phone sex, so neither of us are very comfortable with being the first to try it. ... more
when i 1st started doing it w/ the guy im dating now, i had already done it before w/ my previous bf. he'd never done it, so what i did was just started asking questions like, "what do u think we'd be doing if i was over there right now?" "u wanna know what i bought today?" (good for if u bought a new sex toy or lingerie, or "how would u feel if i told u i was naked right now?" small stuff like that. my bf eventually warmed up to it, & now when we have to spend a few months apart, i can just come out & ask if he's up for phone sex. but ever since he got a web cam, we really don't have phone sex anymore.
05/04/2011
Contributor: socceras socceras
dont be like ok lets have phone sex. just start saying stuff over the phone
05/04/2011
Contributor: nicole07 nicole07
I cant bring myself to do it
05/04/2011
Contributor: Brandonn Brandonn
Get on a free cam platform and use the phone. It's about as real as you can get, for the mileage difference.
01/31/2012
Contributor: inmytoybox inmytoybox
It was a little odd for me at first. Once you get into the mood it's all goo. Have your boyfriend tell you what's he wearing and tell him what your wearing. Also you could talk about what sexual things you liked to do to each other when you see each other. Always sparks it up! Video chattings is very good too!!
01/31/2012