The New Intimacy

Permission for the strip club

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Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
So, it's been two weeks since I reconnected with a friend from high school and we started seeing each other, and then his birthday came up this weekend. During the party, his roommate (also a friend from HS) comes up to me and asks "Is it okay with you if we take C to a strip club for a lap dance for his birthday? You'll come along, too."

It struck me at that point that I'm considered a "girlfriend", and I was somewhat weirded out by them asking my permission on such a thing.

Of course I went and was amused by the event; there was a separate room for it that you could look into. When he came out I asked him how it went and he said "I ... couldn't get aroused in this sort of place." Although he had no problem when I did my own fully-clothed lap dance at his place after the party.

Anywho - what's the deal between you and your sig other when it comes to this sort of thing? My relationship is still new enough in which I didn't feel I really had a say in what his friends did for him for his birthday, and while there I couldn't summon up any jealousy on the matter (although I was jealous of some of their figures). Would you be jealous if he went to a strip club or would you go along to "keep an eye on things" or would you not have a problem either way?
10/15/2012
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Contributor: Lildrummrgurl7 Lildrummrgurl7
I'd prefer my fiance tell me he's going but I have no problem with it. It's when they start going to strip clubs and keeping it a secret that it becomes a problem. And I do usually go along too, not to keep an eye on him but to have fun with him.
10/15/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
So, it's been two weeks since I reconnected with a friend from high school and we started seeing each other, and then his birthday came up this weekend. During the party, his roommate (also a friend from HS) comes up to me and asks "Is it ... more
Naw, I wouldn't be jealous if my guys wanted to have a lap dance, or had friends who were willing to pay for one. There was a time when I would have rationalized that I SHOULD feel jealous and then I'd work myself into a roaring snit. Thankfully those days are past.

SO ARE you girlfriend then? If so, then CONGRATZ! I am so happy you have found someone. If not, then may I be allowed to hope he comes to his senses and snaps you up?
10/15/2012
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Nah, but he wouldn't want to go anyway. He gets more at home for a lot less.
10/15/2012
Contributor: Mwar Mwar
I wouldn't care so long as he told me. But he honestly has no intrest.
10/15/2012
Contributor: deltalima deltalima
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
So, it's been two weeks since I reconnected with a friend from high school and we started seeing each other, and then his birthday came up this weekend. During the party, his roommate (also a friend from HS) comes up to me and asks "Is it ... more
I give lap dances freely but if he wants to go, it'd be nice if he just told me before. He doesn't need permission. I might go just to have fun but most likely let him have his fun. But my guy doesn't seem the sort for a strip club anyway.
10/15/2012
Contributor: funluvinmama funluvinmama
I was mad when I found out he went once and hid it from me. I found out a year later from a neighbor. She said he stopped at the gas station she worked at on the way home and was bragging about going. I have told him from the beginning, if he wants to go, all he has to do speak up and we will have fun together.
10/15/2012
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
In this situation personally, I don't think his friends need to ask me - as I you were his mother or the boss of him.

I DO think his friends should ask HIM, and it would be polite and considerate if HE took MY feelings into consideration on the matter, and the boundaries we've established together for our relationship. And, if necessary, we could talk about it together, so we could both express our feelings on the matter, and then he can make a decision based on all that.


PS - Congrats on the new status!
10/15/2012
Contributor: TheCleansing TheCleansing
I guess I'd prefer if she told me, but I've no problem with it.
10/15/2012
Contributor: UnknownGirl UnknownGirl
I would have a problem one way or the other. I don't think most guys take strip clubs seriously.
10/15/2012