The New Intimacy

Have any girls ever been in love with a girl, but don't claim yourself as bisexual or lesbian?

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Contributor: sexysweetieshan sexysweetieshan
I know it's a weird situation, but I was wondering if anyone has been in the same situation. When I was 16 and 17, I fell in love with my female best friend (and I'm female in case you didn't know). We were best friends. Hung out everyday, had sleepovers, talked about everything, were really close, and it grew into love. We loved each other as friends, then we experimented of course, then it grew into a relationship. She was seriously my first love. I still love that girl to this day, even though I'm married. She will always have a place in my heart, but my husband of course is my current and only love for the rest of my life.

We had a sexual relationship. Including kissing, touching, oral, etc. We kept our relationship secret from most people because certain people didn't approve. Yet we claimed each other as our girlfriend. Yet to this day, I will not claim myself as bisexual, because I have never been with another female or really wanted to. I don't disapprove of bisexuals or lesbians or anything, I just don't consider myself one because I haven't been with more than one female or even wanted to. After my friend and I broke up, I seriously tried to figure out if I liked my other best friend, but I could never picture us together. So I don't see myself as bisexual, but it definitely wasn't an experiment either.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation? Do you think I'm bisexual because I've been with one female? What's your opinion?
08/01/2010
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Contributor: PassionQT PassionQT
I've been fond of one woman, whom I would have liked to have stayed friends with, but things lead us in different directions.
08/01/2010
Contributor: Darling Jen Darling Jen
Quote:
Originally posted by sexysweetieshan
I know it's a weird situation, but I was wondering if anyone has been in the same situation. When I was 16 and 17, I fell in love with my female best friend (and I'm female in case you didn't know). We were best friends. Hung out ... more
Of course it's possible. Emotional and spiritual connection isn't always dictated by sex and gender. And what you're sexually attracted to doesn't have to control who you develop a love for.

I always saw myself as "pansexual with heterosexual tendencies". I will love whatever person my soulmate turns out to be, no matter the form their body takes. But I do have more of a leaning towards the masculine, especially when it comes to the everyday aspects of a relationship and not just sex.

And when it all comes down to it, they're just labels and people don't usually fit into a simple box. Love is love.

Edit: Forgot to mention, my partner is a transman whom I met when he was still trying to deny his real self and was trying hard to be a girly. So it was a shock to me when I fell in love with a "girl" and a wake-up call for him as well lol.
08/01/2010
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by sexysweetieshan
I know it's a weird situation, but I was wondering if anyone has been in the same situation. When I was 16 and 17, I fell in love with my female best friend (and I'm female in case you didn't know). We were best friends. Hung out ... more
I can understand your confusion but yes what youa re feeling is perfectly natural. I, too loved a woman. My husband and I fell deeply in love with her and she with us. Problem was there wasn't a place in our world at that time for polyamory and we let it slip away. She was the firls and only woman I have ever been intimate with...or desired to. So while I know that it is possible for me to love a woman, desire her in everyway, I also know that it's a rare woman that I fall for! I am heterosexual but flexible, but I'm not truly bisexual. The thing is other people may not agree with me but this is MY definition for myself and it's not up to others to agree or disagree. Go with what feels right for you, and you'll be right no matter how you label yourself...or indeed if you choose not to label yourself.
08/01/2010
Contributor: AU AU
I don't know if I could fall in love with a woman, but I know I could at least fall in lust with a woman. I have never had sexual intercourse with a girl, but I have had enough sexual situations that made me decide that I like womens' bodies in "that way". I could consider myself bisexual, but maybe it's more that I'm pan-sexual--It doesn't matter much to me, though. I think that such labels are useful for letting people know what you like if you might be available. I'm not! And in a heterosexual relationship. Heehee, with a somewhat effeminate guy.

I think you are whatever you feel comfortable with calling yourself, whatever feels most accurate. I know that might not be a great answer, but that is what I feel.
08/02/2010
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
Maybe, instead of saying "I fell in love with another woman", say "I fell in love with a wonderful person" and just let it go from there?
08/02/2010
Contributor: sexysweetieshan sexysweetieshan
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
I can understand your confusion but yes what youa re feeling is perfectly natural. I, too loved a woman. My husband and I fell deeply in love with her and she with us. Problem was there wasn't a place in our world at that time for polyamory and ... more
Thanks for your answer. It's good to see someone else who was in a similar situation. I like how you call it heterosexual but flexible. Haha.
08/02/2010
Contributor: sexysweetieshan sexysweetieshan
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
Maybe, instead of saying "I fell in love with another woman", say "I fell in love with a wonderful person" and just let it go from there?
Yeah, I know it's not about woman or man. I did fall in love with a wonderful person. I just have never considered myself bisexual, and usually when I mention to people that I was with a female but I'm not bisexual, they try to say I am bisexual, so I just wanted to get other peoples opinions on that.
08/02/2010