Do your friends disapprove of your relationship? When does it get to be too much and how do you get them to stop hating on the relationship and support your decision instead?
Friends disapproving of your relationship
01/16/2013
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Quote:
If they can't support me in my relationship then they aren't a true friend. I have ran into this since I chose to go a different path with age and race in my dating pool, I have actually lost friends over it. To me that just means they weren't a true friend.
Originally posted by
nova2014
Do your friends disapprove of your relationship? When does it get to be too much and how do you get them to stop hating on the relationship and support your decision instead?
01/17/2013
My friends are very good to me, even when the guy is awful. One expressed their concerns about my marriage as "We wanted to stop it, but it was like watching a train wreck." Everyone else tolerated him for my sake, but really let their opinions fly when I got rid of him.
I've had only a "warning" from one friend about C - "Don't get too involved." - but that was because she was trying to cheat on her boyfriend with him, and he didn't want to be part of a triangle so he ended it quickly when he found out that she wasn't dumping her boyfriend anytime soon.
I've had only a "warning" from one friend about C - "Don't get too involved." - but that was because she was trying to cheat on her boyfriend with him, and he didn't want to be part of a triangle so he ended it quickly when he found out that she wasn't dumping her boyfriend anytime soon.
01/17/2013
My husband and I had to deal with quite a bit of disapproval when we got together. There was an age difference, I was about to head off to college, he was in the middle of a divorce. It was complicated, and tough to deal with, but it made us grow.
The attitudes of some of my family members has not changed much, but I feel confident chalking that up to immaturity. I was pretty stubborn and opinionated at that age, so I'm not surprised they are too. It's painful, because it has really hindered the kind of relationship I want to have with my family, but I am keeping positive because I know that time does make a difference. I just have to be patient. I'm also lucky because I have the relationship of my dreams with my in-laws, and their support and love makes the rough parts much easier to handle.
We have new social circles where we are happy and all of our friends are constantly nagging us to stop being so dang cute , and we are even happily reconnecting with some people that were at the heart of the disapproving posse.
We just knew from the moment we met that there was something special. Something special enough to make two people who were independently terrified of disapproval and confrontation willing to take it all on and more.
The attitudes of some of my family members has not changed much, but I feel confident chalking that up to immaturity. I was pretty stubborn and opinionated at that age, so I'm not surprised they are too. It's painful, because it has really hindered the kind of relationship I want to have with my family, but I am keeping positive because I know that time does make a difference. I just have to be patient. I'm also lucky because I have the relationship of my dreams with my in-laws, and their support and love makes the rough parts much easier to handle.
We have new social circles where we are happy and all of our friends are constantly nagging us to stop being so dang cute , and we are even happily reconnecting with some people that were at the heart of the disapproving posse.
We just knew from the moment we met that there was something special. Something special enough to make two people who were independently terrified of disapproval and confrontation willing to take it all on and more.
01/17/2013
Approve
01/17/2013
I think it depends on the situation.
Often times, I find if my friends disapprove, it's for a damn good reason, and I listen to them. I feel like relationships are most often temporary, but friends are forever, as stupid as that sounds, if I've judged them to be good ones anyway.
If a friend of mine disapproved for no reason then I would assume they either were jealous of the relationship if they didn't have one, or they had feelings for me that they were trying to deny, or that they were just a jerk.
Often times, I find if my friends disapprove, it's for a damn good reason, and I listen to them. I feel like relationships are most often temporary, but friends are forever, as stupid as that sounds, if I've judged them to be good ones anyway.
If a friend of mine disapproved for no reason then I would assume they either were jealous of the relationship if they didn't have one, or they had feelings for me that they were trying to deny, or that they were just a jerk.
01/17/2013
Old post but figured that I would post anyways.
My friends do not disapprove of my current relationship. But with past relationships they have voiced disapproval. When that happens I first take notice of why they are disapproving if it is over something petty then I will usually thank them for their opinion and leave it at that. Now if they are voicing a serious concern because of something that they are picking up on I will listen to them and ask them to please elaborate as to what they are seeing. I try to remain impartial during it, keeping in mind that their concern might be grounded in reality that I am not seeing.
I usually take advice and criticism very well. And as long as my friends are not voicing something out of jealousy then will normally listen them.
My friends do not disapprove of my current relationship. But with past relationships they have voiced disapproval. When that happens I first take notice of why they are disapproving if it is over something petty then I will usually thank them for their opinion and leave it at that. Now if they are voicing a serious concern because of something that they are picking up on I will listen to them and ask them to please elaborate as to what they are seeing. I try to remain impartial during it, keeping in mind that their concern might be grounded in reality that I am not seeing.
I usually take advice and criticism very well. And as long as my friends are not voicing something out of jealousy then will normally listen them.
06/10/2013
A few of my friends did have concerns when we were going through a rough patch. I listened to them and used their advice when it made sense (since they didn't get everything)
06/10/2013
It would depend on which friend and why they disapproved. All of my friends want me happy, but opinions on what would make me happy differ. I'm secretive about my love life though, so the only time there hear something outside of idle chatter is when he's made me so happy I have to tell someone.
06/10/2013
Quote:
if my friends disapprove of anyone I'm dating they better have a good reason, if they don't then I won't pay they reservations any heed, i choose the people i want to date, not them
Originally posted by
nova2014
Do your friends disapprove of your relationship? When does it get to be too much and how do you get them to stop hating on the relationship and support your decision instead?
06/10/2013
During my last relationship, my friends hated how the guy treated me and thought i deserved better. They told me this but they also told me that they support my decision and just want whats best for me
06/20/2013
My friends mostly disapprove of my relationship because he is 22 years older than me. I can't make them approve, I can't make anyone do anything. But if it bothers me that much, I just avoid talking about my relationship in their company.
06/20/2013
My boyfriend's mom... I ignore the insanity from that side of his family to the very best ability that I can. I could be the savior of the universe and she would still disapprove of me, lol.
06/20/2013
Total posts: 13
Unique posters: 13