The New Intimacy

Would you ever do a background check on someone?

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Contributor: Gary Gary
Would you ever do a background check on someone? Before a date, before sex, maybe before moving in together or getting married?

If a background check seems like too much work, do you ever Google people to see what you find?
05/06/2013
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Contributor: ShadowedSeductress ShadowedSeductress
Yes I have googled people, including myself out of curiosity. My partner and I are both young and have known each other since high school, and I also know his family really well. There really wouldn't be a reason for me to do a background check on him before getting married.

If I were older and didn't know someone so well, I would definitely consider it.
05/06/2013
Contributor: TJtheMadHatter TJtheMadHatter
If I had the resources, I would. It probably would have saved me a lot grief with some people I've known and dated.
05/06/2013
Contributor: RonLee RonLee
I did google someone I was rather infatuated with and found things that were... how should I put it. Not positive. It did not stop me though. The infatuation was just too strong. As expected the relationship did not work out.
05/06/2013
Contributor: FieryRed FieryRed
I'm conflicted on this topic. While I believe googling/background checking could probably save some people some big trouble, I think it is also a violation of privacy and trust right off the bat. In addition, things you might find online about a person may give you the wrong impression--there may be a good reason for whatever it is, or the person may have changed since then.

I wouldn't search for online info on a romantic interest unless I had good reason to suspect they were hiding something that could really hurt me.
05/06/2013
Contributor: Woman China Woman China
If I was going into business with someone, sure I would do a background check and ask them to do one on me as well.

Romantic interest... it is part of the fun of getting to know someone is actually getting to know them over time. I wouldn't do a background check on a romantic interest or even google someone.
05/06/2013
Contributor: js250 js250
I have for business purposes...never for personal reasons. I do have the resources since I own my own business and with certain aspects of it--need very reliable and trustworthy employees. I have not had any employees for a couple years, so it has not been any issue....
05/06/2013
Contributor: spiced spiced
I've googled pretty much everyone I know, including my wife. I don't consider it a violation of privacy or trust. I google myself fairly often, too, and have taken steps to manage my online image. I figure what's out there is public information and I'm perfectly cool with anyone checking me out.
05/06/2013
Contributor: Sammi Sammi
I'd definitely do it for business reasons. I might google them for personal relationships, but I doubt I'd actually do a full background check.
05/06/2013
Contributor: married with children married with children
I dont know about relationship wise, unless something in the back of my head told me to. I would do them to employees or renters though.
05/06/2013
Contributor: gsfanatic gsfanatic
I'd google people if something felt off, a background check would involve some professional necessity
05/06/2013
Contributor: bayosgirl bayosgirl
Definitely, if I felt I had a reason to.
05/06/2013
Contributor: wicked48 wicked48
I would consider doing a background check or using Google if I didn't have any friends that knew the person.
05/06/2013
Contributor: SMichelle SMichelle
Nope. I did Google my partner before I met him though, but I was flying across an ocean alone to meet him, so I wanted to be sure that he was who he said he was.
05/07/2013
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
For business yes - for personal reasons no. I'm a pretty good judge of people and have yet to be scammed.
05/07/2013
Contributor: mpfm mpfm
I would do background checks for business, but not personal. I might google someone for personal reasons.
05/07/2013
Contributor: Gary Gary
In a dating situation I might Google someone just to find out more about them, not necessarily in a paranoid way. I might also look at their FB or read their blog too. If it is public, I wouldn't really consider that an invasion of privacy. Now a background check, that is a little invasive and is really only to find bad things.
05/07/2013
Contributor: TJax TJax
Quote:
Originally posted by Gary
In a dating situation I might Google someone just to find out more about them, not necessarily in a paranoid way. I might also look at their FB or read their blog too. If it is public, I wouldn't really consider that an invasion of privacy. Now a ... more
That seems pretty reasonable.

I could see considering a little more than just a casual googling if I was into online dating.
05/07/2013
Contributor: FieryRed FieryRed
Quote:
Originally posted by spiced
I've googled pretty much everyone I know, including my wife. I don't consider it a violation of privacy or trust. I google myself fairly often, too, and have taken steps to manage my online image. I figure what's out there is public ... more
Actually, you'd be surprised at the amount of very personal information that gets online. Sure, some of it you have to pay to get access to, but even a Google search can often bring up addresses, phone numbers, names of relatives, etc. (and probably more). It's pretty scary.

Of course, googling oneself and/or one's partner, and maybe friends, in the interests of privacy protection and finding out what info of yours is posted where, is a good thing. But I don't think that's what Gary was asking about. He meant checking up on someone, searching the web for the express purpose of finding info that they wouldn't necessarily tell you right away, either before the first date or at some other point in the relationship.
05/08/2013
Contributor: ChubbyNerd ChubbyNerd
I probably should've had a background check on one of my exs.
05/08/2013
Contributor: mjtheprincess mjtheprincess
Yes. My parents background check any man i bring home...I guess that's what happens when you date someone who has been to jail and you're kinda a goodey two shoes with parents who worry about you...
05/08/2013
Contributor: bog bog
Quote:
Originally posted by Gary
Would you ever do a background check on someone? Before a date, before sex, maybe before moving in together or getting married?

If a background check seems like too much work, do you ever Google people to see what you find?
I've never even considered a background check, but I'm guilty of googling during the getting to know you phase...
05/08/2013
Contributor: Gary Gary
Quote:
Originally posted by mjtheprincess
Yes. My parents background check any man i bring home...I guess that's what happens when you date someone who has been to jail and you're kinda a goodey two shoes with parents who worry about you...
Parents doing a background check is a totally different story. It may be a little much, but parenting is tough, and seeing your kids going out in to the world is scary. I support it!
05/08/2013
Contributor: GONE! GONE!
Before moving in with someone, yeah.
05/08/2013
Contributor: butts butts
for a personal relationship? No way. Maybe for business, but nothing else.
05/08/2013