The New Intimacy

When Sex Hurts

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Contributor: Airlia Airlia
I've had a problem for a little bit now, when I have sex regularly it starts to hurt in my belly. I've not had this problem if I'm switching partners on a regular basis, but as soon as I have a regular boyfriend (or now husband) it starts to hurt.

I've had to go and get a cyst removed once... but the pain didn't really go away. All I can describe it as is a possible cramp/ discomfort over where I imagine his penis stops. If I press down on my belly it helps a bit. Also doggy style probably makes this pain the worst.

Any suggestions/ideas/same problems?
11/02/2008
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Contributor: Beautiful Dreamer Beautiful Dreamer
Quote:
Originally posted by Airlia
I've had a problem for a little bit now, when I have sex regularly it starts to hurt in my belly. I've not had this problem if I'm switching partners on a regular basis, but as soon as I have a regular boyfriend (or now husband) it starts ... more
See a gynecologist. Seriously, it may be nothing, but it never hurts to find out for sure.
11/02/2008
Contributor: Miss Jane Miss Jane
Quote:
Originally posted by Beautiful Dreamer
See a gynecologist. Seriously, it may be nothing, but it never hurts to find out for sure.
Seconded. Especially since you've already had a cyst removed once, it won't hurt to be too cautious.
11/02/2008
Contributor: Airlia Airlia
Been there done that - all clear/no freaking idea.
11/03/2008
Contributor: Jimbo Jones Jimbo Jones
This eventually happens with every partner regardless of the length of his cock?
Do you ever experience it with penetrative toys?
How are your kegel muscles? Do you keep them well toned with regular exercise to help keep the pelvic floor lifted and everything in place?
11/03/2008
Contributor: Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady
I have had this problem on and off for years. I actually saw my doctor about 2 weeks ago about it because I thought my IUC had been shifted again (which had happened in the past and was very painful.) My IUC was in place.

I am very fortunate to have a gyn who I can talk to freely and openly about my sex life. I suggest you talk to your doctor very openly and if you find you can't, find a new doctor.

My gyn told me that it is common to have abdominal discomfort during/after sex because the uterus is an organ which contracts with orgasm, and just like any other muscle, it can cramp with use. This makes perfect sense to me because my worst pain is after my best orgasms. I was told to take small amounts of anti-inflammatory (I use generic Advil) prior to sex. This is working great for ME. These are just my personal experiences and you may have a different issue.

Once I've had a partner for a while I am more comfortable and have stronger orgasms... thus more cramping. Just a thought.
11/03/2008
Contributor: Airlia Airlia
@Jimbo Jones - every partner over time regardless of the length. I've never had this with toys (mostly I own curved ones though...) And I'm faithful to keeping my kegel muscles healthy and happy

@ Happy lady - makes a lot of sense. I don't tend to have a problem with randoms as it's a fuck and go, but long term partners allow me the release I need for a powerful orgasm. I'll do the talking and try the advil. Ta!
11/03/2008
Contributor: Snappy Snappy
It's possible that you have fibroids or endometriosis. A gyno exam would shed light on that.

If you have experienced sexual trauma (or trauma to the region)you may be feeling pain because your body is tensing upon penetration in an effort to protect itself. It might help to relax your pelvic region completely before having sex. A sitz bath, some masturbation, and making some figure 8's with your pelvis might also help.

Good luck!
11/03/2008
Contributor: Airlia Airlia
Interesting - thanks for the additional info. Will try those ideas too!
11/04/2008
Contributor: Nashville Nashville
I have both PCOS and Endo, pain is something I know.

A simple exam at your gyno's office won't do the trick. A transvaginal u/s may not yield the particular results you need or want either. Trust me, I spent years fighting with these military doctors explaining to them that the pain is actually there (not in my head like I was frequently told). I had to force them to look deeper and in the end I got my answers.

It could very well be cysts, you could be pulling them. I get cyst pain every day, if I lay a certain way or try to bend/move a particular way the pain hits. Have you had a recent u/s to make sure there weren't any?

It could be them hitting your cervix, does the pain come in only certain positions?

Also, have you had an IUD or IUC? I had one placed in at my 6 wk check up after delivering my son and it created 2 years worth of problems for me. I had it removed after 6 months in and I still had pain and numbing for a year after it was taken out.
11/09/2008
Contributor: Airlia Airlia
You're right military doctors aren't too helpful. Erm what's a transvaginal u/s?

The pain is only terrible in a few deep penetration positions. And no I don't have an IUD or IUC.

I'll try going back and asking for one though, thanks for the tip.
11/13/2008
Contributor: Nashville Nashville
A transvaginal ultrasound. Instead of doing the u/s by way of the outside of your abdomen they do it by way of your vagina.

Sounds like it may be your cervix if it's only when it's deep.

"Deep Pain

Pain that starts deep inside may be a warning sign of an internal problem. Pain that happens when the penis touches the cervix can have many causes:

* Pelvic inflammatory disease (PID)
* Problems with the uterus
* Endometriosis
* A pelvic mass
* Bowel or bladder disease
* Scar tissue (adhesions)
* Ovarian cysts

A pelvic exam often gives clues about the causes of deep pain. Your doctor may suggest laparoscopy to look into your abdomen and at the reproductive organs. Laparoscopy also can be used to treat some of these problems. "

link
11/13/2008
Contributor: Blinker Blinker
Actually Airlia, I was about to post something about this because I'm going through the same thing. I've had one ovary completely removed, endometriosis, several ovarian cysts (one was almost 5 ounces and had to be removed---and a huge fibroid) and not to mention a tilted uterus. Everything was fine with any other man I've slept with except the man I'm going to marry...now sex hurts and I start to dread the act itself because I know it will hurt so badly.

I got my first dildo in the mail yesterday and was so excited to use it but when I thrust...Jesus it hurts.

And my gyno says nothing should be hurting me and all he does is prescribe pain meds. The only thing that helps sex is by smoking a lot of pot or getting completely drunk. Then it doesn't hurt but that's not a healthy sex life, lol.

So for any other women with this problem, please share opinions or stories or help because...you really can't imagine how unbearable it is to actually be afraid to have sex.
06/18/2010
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Blinker
Actually Airlia, I was about to post something about this because I'm going through the same thing. I've had one ovary completely removed, endometriosis, several ovarian cysts (one was almost 5 ounces and had to be removed---and a huge ... more
Both Pot and alcohol are depressants so it might help you immensely to take a dose of tylenol or advil (which ever you prefer) about 30 mins prior to sex. It'll help the muscles stay relaxed and the blood to continue to flow normally. Now if you have prolonged sex then it would also help to not have penetration until he's "nearly there". Shallow thrusting to get warmed up and then a short time of deep thrusting might help if followed by some lower belly massage. If you start by laying on your back and placing your hands palm down on your lower abdomen with tyou finger tips nearly meeting over your pubic bone and then rub in a firm stroke around your belly button it'll help relax those muscles and helps the pc contractions. Works during labor and helps menstrual cramps as well. A hot bath eases the cramps for me as well.

It can't be good for a relationship to have to get stoned or drunk to have sex...I hope you can figure a way around this pain, that really sux!
06/21/2010
Contributor: Blinker Blinker
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Both Pot and alcohol are depressants so it might help you immensely to take a dose of tylenol or advil (which ever you prefer) about 30 mins prior to sex. It'll help the muscles stay relaxed and the blood to continue to flow normally. Now if you ... more
GAH! I love you! It's always made me feel bad to resort to pot and booze to help with sex...Thank you so much for the tips! Next time we have sex, I'm going to get him very worked up before he penetrates me, combined with some ladyparts massages for me, and the technique you described sounds wonderful.
I have a doctor's appopintment tomorrow to figure out where this random pain is coming from, but over the phone, she reckoned it may be scar tissue or a simple yeast infection gone out of control. I hope it's something fixable.

Thanks agin, Airen! You rock
06/21/2010
Contributor: Geekhyena Geekhyena
I was having serious pelvic pain for a long time, and eventually they did surgery to look for endometriosis - instead, they found several large cysts. They removed them, and the pain went away.
08/01/2010
Contributor: Sera Sera
Quote:
Originally posted by Airlia
I've had a problem for a little bit now, when I have sex regularly it starts to hurt in my belly. I've not had this problem if I'm switching partners on a regular basis, but as soon as I have a regular boyfriend (or now husband) it starts ... more
Maybe it's because of your cyst....I'm sorry it hurts. It hurt me too, because I was eight months pregnant once and I couldn't even get into position. It's hurt me before then too, because Jonathan gets rough sometimes and I have to tell him to slow down-I'm petite and very sensitive. Other girls probably don't have the same problems I do, and they don't understand. Sex is sometimes very hard for me. When I was pregnant, I sure didn't feel very sexy! I couldn't even move! I hated it. I wanted that baby out NOW. But she was worth the wait.
08/04/2010
Contributor: Sera Sera
Quote:
Originally posted by Blinker
Actually Airlia, I was about to post something about this because I'm going through the same thing. I've had one ovary completely removed, endometriosis, several ovarian cysts (one was almost 5 ounces and had to be removed---and a huge ... more
No, I can imagine. I've been there.
08/04/2010