The New Intimacy

Write yourself a novelty gravestone inscription

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Contributor: surreptitious surreptitious
(Review Program Mentor)
I remember seeing those silly fake tombstones with little poems or quips engraved when I was a kid. Things like "Here lies the body of Mary Blake - she stepped on the gas instead of the brake" or "I told you I was sick!"

Write one for yourself! I'm going to go with "At least she finally stopped talking."
05/03/2013
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Contributor: Wicked Wahine Wicked Wahine
Quote:
Originally posted by surreptitious
I remember seeing those silly fake tombstones with little poems or quips engraved when I was a kid. Things like "Here lies the body of Mary Blake - she stepped on the gas instead of the brake" or "I told you I was ... more
Damn, you stole happen to have a winner with that one & might want to market it because I wanted to say the very same thing!

Here is my epitaph:

I Was Into Some Really Kinky Shit
05/03/2013
Contributor: surreptitious surreptitious
(Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Wicked Wahine
Damn, you stole happen to have a winner with that one & might want to market it because I wanted to say the very same thing!

Here is my epitaph:

I Was Into Some Really Kinky Shit
I just imagined a necrophiliac walking by, reading your stone and thinking "I wonder..."

Sometimes my brain just comes up with things, and I seriously don't know why it does that to me. Ick.
05/03/2013
Contributor: Wicked Wahine Wicked Wahine
Quote:
Originally posted by surreptitious
I just imagined a necrophiliac walking by, reading your stone and thinking "I wonder..."

Sometimes my brain just comes up with things, and I seriously don't know why it does that to me. Ick.
Here are my other ones, I was trying to write them & you posted so the edit didn't go through, I hope I remember all of them, I LMFAO, they were funny!

Yeah, Hypo-F*cking-Chondriac This Mothef*ckers!

That Pinterest Recipe Sure Didn’t Go As Planned.

I Guess I Was Legit Enough to Quit.

Did You Go to the Secret Hiding Place and Trash the Dildos Like I Requested?

I Took It All With Me Just To Spite You

House Would Have Cured Me
05/03/2013
Contributor: Wicked Wahine Wicked Wahine
Quote:
Originally posted by surreptitious
I just imagined a necrophiliac walking by, reading your stone and thinking "I wonder..."

Sometimes my brain just comes up with things, and I seriously don't know why it does that to me. Ick.
HAHAHAH! Our brains may work differently, but we at least amuse each other!
05/03/2013
Contributor: surreptitious surreptitious
(Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Wicked Wahine
Here are my other ones, I was trying to write them & you posted so the edit didn't go through, I hope I remember all of them, I LMFAO, they were funny!

Yeah, Hypo-F*cking-Chondriac This Mothef*ckers!

That Pinterest Recipe Sure ... more
Oh my gosh - "I guess I was legit enough to quit" is my absolute favorite! Sowwee for ruining your other post. (I know that you won't chase me with an axe for it, but I've yet to have an excuse to post with that emoticon. )
05/03/2013
Contributor: stacylyn stacylyn
Quote:
Originally posted by surreptitious
I remember seeing those silly fake tombstones with little poems or quips engraved when I was a kid. Things like "Here lies the body of Mary Blake - she stepped on the gas instead of the brake" or "I told you I was ... more
At least her nose is out of a book
05/03/2013
Contributor: sunflower sunflower
Quote:
Originally posted by Wicked Wahine
Here are my other ones, I was trying to write them & you posted so the edit didn't go through, I hope I remember all of them, I LMFAO, they were funny!

Yeah, Hypo-F*cking-Chondriac This Mothef*ckers!

That Pinterest Recipe Sure ... more
LOL @ yours. Bless. I would visit your gravestone.

I was gonna get something like "I told you I was sick" because my parents call me hypochondriac!
05/04/2013
Contributor: js250 js250
--Got 'R Done.
--Hauntings~~$50.00
--Inquire within...
--Don't tread on me...dance!!
05/04/2013
Contributor: surreptitious surreptitious
(Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
--Got 'R Done.
--Hauntings~~$50.00
--Inquire within...
--Don't tread on me...dance!!
Oh my gosh, I'm imagining all of your friends dancing on your grave and passersby thinking that you must have been a horrible person. xD
05/04/2013
Contributor: bog bog
Quote:
Originally posted by surreptitious
I remember seeing those silly fake tombstones with little poems or quips engraved when I was a kid. Things like "Here lies the body of Mary Blake - she stepped on the gas instead of the brake" or "I told you I was ... more
"see you next tuesday"
05/04/2013
Contributor: Wicked Wahine Wicked Wahine
Quote:
Originally posted by surreptitious
Oh my gosh, I'm imagining all of your friends dancing on your grave and passersby thinking that you must have been a horrible person. xD
My mom joked once that she'd be tap dancing on my father's grave & we thought it was funny, because that's our irreverent humor, (you had to know the situation, it was very funny), but my dad was highly offended. He takes his death very seriously & wants all medical intervention possible to prolong it. We all think, eh, if life would suck, just kill me now. So naturally, we poke fun at him by saying he would be a talking head in a jar, and if he's not nice, we're gonna have him sitting & facing the corner. I, too, was thinking how funny to see everyone dancing on js250's grave because she asked them to on her gravestone, but like you said, how funny the misperception would be!
05/04/2013
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
"I've got my towel and Sonic Screwdriver.
I'm ready for Middle Earth, Obi'wan."

"That weird knocking you hear at night? That's me."

"In case I rise from the dead, use a hand-and-a-half sword on me. Guns are so declasse."

(Because fucking with people's heads after death amuses me.)
05/05/2013
Contributor: Wicked Wahine Wicked Wahine
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
"I've got my towel and Sonic Screwdriver.
I'm ready for Middle Earth, Obi'wan."

"That weird knocking you hear at night? That's me."

"In case I rise from the dead, use a hand-and-a-half sword ... more
Bahahaha!
05/06/2013
Contributor: surreptitious surreptitious
(Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
"I've got my towel and Sonic Screwdriver.
I'm ready for Middle Earth, Obi'wan."

"That weird knocking you hear at night? That's me."

"In case I rise from the dead, use a hand-and-a-half sword ... more
That first one is excellent. =)
05/06/2013