The New Intimacy

Would you want to know your birth parents?

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Contributor: SneakersAndPearls SneakersAndPearls
A woman I know found out as an adult that her "dad" was not her biological father, but that she was actually the product of an affair that her married mother had with a married man. Even though she knows who her biological father likely is, she has no desire to meet him or have anything to do with him. If it were me, I would have to at least meet him face to face.

What about you? If you found out one or both of your parents weren't your biological parents, would you want to meet your "birth parents"?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Yes
12  (21%)
No
4  (7%)
Depends on the circumstances surrounding my birth
30  (54%)
I would want to know who they are first, then make the decision
3  (5%)
My feelings on this may vary from day to day
4  (7%)
Depends on whether there was some eithical breech surrounding my conception (such as having an affair)
2  (4%)
Llama fur makes great yarn
1  (2%)
Total votes: 56
Poll is closed
09/17/2012
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Contributor: Beck Beck
My feelings would likely vary. I would probably at least tempt to know the person. However, if they didn't want to know me, then I wouldn't care about it. If the man knew the child was his or a good chance it was and never tried to find out; he likely doesn't care, so I wouldn't want to waste my time. However, if the mother never told this other man, and there was a chance of a relationship, I would go for it.
09/17/2012
Contributor: ellieprobable ellieprobable
Wow. I would be so conflicted about this. It would really depend on the circumstances for me.
09/17/2012
Contributor: travelnurse travelnurse
Oh, that is a tough one!
09/17/2012
Contributor: justme23 justme23
Quote:
Originally posted by SneakersAndPearls
A woman I know found out as an adult that her "dad" was not her biological father, but that she was actually the product of an affair that her married mother had with a married man. Even though she knows who her biological father likely ... more
I would meet them.
09/17/2012
Contributor: Gracie Gracie
I would want to meet them, get a thorough medical history, and then see. I may or may not want an ongoing relationship. It would depend on the circumstances of my birth and their character now. I would always consider the people who raised me to be my parents.
09/17/2012
Contributor: Gongsta Gongsta
Quote:
Originally posted by Gracie
I would want to meet them, get a thorough medical history, and then see. I may or may not want an ongoing relationship. It would depend on the circumstances of my birth and their character now. I would always consider the people who raised me to ... more
i agree totally.
09/17/2012
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
No. When it comes to stuff like that, I don't rock the boat. There would probably be a lot of things I wouldn't want to know and once you hear them, you can't go back.
09/17/2012
Contributor: hyacinthgirl hyacinthgirl
If a man devotes his time and energy to raising you and loves you as his own, he's your father. Your sperm donor is irrelevant. Even the medical history isn't that important in the grand scheme.
09/17/2012
Contributor: MJ7 MJ7
yes, i want to know where i come from, and if i were the parent, i would want to meet my child.
09/17/2012
Contributor: ilikepies2 ilikepies2
This sounds pretty complicated. I don't think I could speculate on this.
09/17/2012
Contributor: Lavendar Lavendar
I'd want to know
09/17/2012
Contributor: TiffyPixie TiffyPixie
Quote:
Originally posted by Gracie
I would want to meet them, get a thorough medical history, and then see. I may or may not want an ongoing relationship. It would depend on the circumstances of my birth and their character now. I would always consider the people who raised me to ... more
I agree completely
09/18/2012
Contributor: (k)InkyIvy (k)InkyIvy
In that scenario, I'd want to meet the birth father... But there are other scenarios where I wouldn't care to meet him.
09/18/2012
Contributor: SneakersAndPearls SneakersAndPearls
For me, the curiosity would kill me. I would need to, even if just once.
09/18/2012
Contributor: tortilla tortilla
I think I would, but it depends
09/18/2012
Contributor: Lioncub Lioncub
I wasn't adopted but have never met my father, he just wasn't a part of the picture. I finally got a name from my mother at the age of 18. I did start to search for him and from time to time do it again. For me it's not a relationship I'm looking for it's more of a medical history and closure.
09/18/2012
Contributor: Geogeo Geogeo
Quote:
Originally posted by SneakersAndPearls
A woman I know found out as an adult that her "dad" was not her biological father, but that she was actually the product of an affair that her married mother had with a married man. Even though she knows who her biological father likely ... more
I'd want to know about them maybe not know them
09/18/2012
Contributor: misty82 misty82
I battle with a very similar issue on a daily basis. My mother had a fling with a married man. I found out when I was 16 and have struggled with it since. He knows and has always known who I was and about me ans chose to not be a part of my life. This in turn has lead to me missing out on a whole side of my family. There is a lot I would like to know about that side of my family. I know I have half brothers from him one who is only a few months older than me. i would at least like for that side to make an effort to be apart of mine and my children's lives even if it is only by allowing me to know if there are any major medical issues I need to watch for. i have made contact with and met one of the boys but no contact has been kept since then. He didn't know anything about me but I was prepared for that and took a copy of the paternity test with me when I met that brother. We can't force them to be a part of our lives, even though it would be great if they would be. There are a lot of unanswered questions that would be great if I could get answers to. My step-dad is an amazing guy and I am blessed that he has been a part of my life since I was 5.
09/18/2012
Contributor: Talena Talena
I am adopted. I opted to find my birth family, for medical reasons only. All I can say about this (without being nasty) is that I wished I hadn't looked in the first place.
09/18/2012
Contributor: Eva Schwaltz Eva Schwaltz
Yes I definitely would. Even if I didn't like them, it would still be nice to know who I "came" from.
09/18/2012
Contributor: Allstars316 Allstars316
No not at the moment. I'm fine with how it turned out right now.
09/18/2012
Contributor: Leather & Lace Leather & Lace
Depends on circumstances
09/18/2012
Contributor: lovekink lovekink
I was trying to answer this and it was really hard. I would want to know but then as soon as I did know I wouldn't want to know. I do a lot of family tree stuff (I've been doing it for years now) so if I found out after doing all of that for so long I would be so mad at everyone that knew and never told me.
09/18/2012
Contributor: GONE! GONE!
I wouldn't want to. I would only want to know the people who loved me and raised me, unless the people who raised me were assholes in which case I would want to meet the birth parents just to see if I would've been better off with them!
09/19/2012
Contributor: LilLostLenore LilLostLenore
Quote:
Originally posted by SneakersAndPearls
A woman I know found out as an adult that her "dad" was not her biological father, but that she was actually the product of an affair that her married mother had with a married man. Even though she knows who her biological father likely ... more
depends but ya i would prob wanna know.
09/19/2012
Contributor: AliMc AliMc
Quote:
Originally posted by SneakersAndPearls
A woman I know found out as an adult that her "dad" was not her biological father, but that she was actually the product of an affair that her married mother had with a married man. Even though she knows who her biological father likely ... more
When I was a child I found out my father wasn't actually my birth father. I didn't give it much thought until I grew up and started to wonder about where I come from. I'm curious to know more about my bio-dad and his family history, especially hereditary health issues, but other than that I don't want to have any sort of relationship with him. He abandoned my mother and me, I don't need someone like that in my life.
09/19/2012
Contributor: ViVix ViVix
Quote:
Originally posted by SneakersAndPearls
A woman I know found out as an adult that her "dad" was not her biological father, but that she was actually the product of an affair that her married mother had with a married man. Even though she knows who her biological father likely ... more
Surrounding circumstances always make a difference.
09/19/2012
Contributor: spiced spiced
I would want to meet them, and to know everything about them. I'm way too curious, often too much for my own good, especially about myself.
05/21/2013
Contributor: gorgeous gorgeous
Quote:
Originally posted by SneakersAndPearls
A woman I know found out as an adult that her "dad" was not her biological father, but that she was actually the product of an affair that her married mother had with a married man. Even though she knows who her biological father likely ... more
It depends. Whoever raises you are your parents no matter the blood. But i may still want to know them.
05/24/2013