Would you be offended?

Contributor: jmex83 jmex83
So this afternoon my sister in law and brother had their second child together-baby girl. We were so happy for them but we live across state and have to wait a few days to make the trip out. So we made sure to cam chat. well, the cam went down for a few hours, didn't seem to have any change with her getting that baby out anytime soon, then the next thing you know....two hours later from hearing from them, BAM on facebook..there it is!

We found out ON FACEBOOK the size/wieght etc. I was so seriously pissed. is it just me or does it seem totally unreal for them to not even give me a phone call until two hours after birth?????????

sorry i just had to vent this. wondering if im overreacting or not??
04/03/2012
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Contributor: funluvinmama funluvinmama
I wouldn't be offended. Being a mom of two myself, I know that when you have kids, everything around you kind of gets blurred. you are so excited about the birth that you forget specific people and just want to let everyone know.


Congrats on the new niece.
04/04/2012
Contributor: Petite Valentine Petite Valentine
Quote:
Originally posted by jmex83
So this afternoon my sister in law and brother had their second child together-baby girl. We were so happy for them but we live across state and have to wait a few days to make the trip out. So we made sure to cam chat. well, the cam went down for a ... more
After a baby's birth, phone calls and emails are the last thing on the parents' mind. FB is the quickest option to reach the widest audience. If I were you, I wouldn't be angry over it.
04/04/2012
Contributor: Peggi Peggi
Personally, I wouldn't be offended. I had an incident where my God-daughter came earlier than I'd thought and mom wasn't able to call me until almost 3 hours after the birth. I agree, FB is just easier than making calls, especially since mom is going to be exhausted (dad is too!)
04/04/2012
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
I can hear your frustration, and part of it may be because you just barely missed the big event via cam chat!

I don't blame them one bit for doing what they did. It's impossible to call all your loved ones after a birth - it truly is an exhausting experience both physically and emotionally. Plus, it's important that a new family bond together after the birth. They need to make their new family a priority, including allowing brothers & sisters to bond together, rather than making a ton of phone calls to loved ones.

Congrats on the happy and healthy new niece! I hope you'll have a nice visit, and will enjoy meeting your new family member!
04/04/2012
Contributor: Ghost Ghost
I wouldn't be offended. Maybe they were so busy that quickly facebooking was the easiest way for them to get the news out.
04/04/2012
Contributor: Stinkytofu10 Stinkytofu10
Quote:
Originally posted by jmex83
So this afternoon my sister in law and brother had their second child together-baby girl. We were so happy for them but we live across state and have to wait a few days to make the trip out. So we made sure to cam chat. well, the cam went down for a ... more
I think I maybe alone here. I'd be offended. The baby should be offended too. Why would facebook be an acceptable channel to announce something this important?
04/04/2012
Contributor: js250 js250
I understand your hurt, but new parents are focused on one thing---their brand new baby. I am sure FB was also an afterthought and phone calls are a real bugger to make with the nurses in and out of your room after having a baby. Be happy for them and put this aside, in the long run, the sore feelings will subside.
04/04/2012
Contributor: MamaDivine MamaDivine
Hey everyone, its Jmex's Mrs lol.

I can agree with most of what was posted here, with "parents getting crazy with the birth". Hubby and I have been through two births together now (I have four total-2 with him). He knows how hectic and insane it can get. We wanted his family so involved with our last daughters birth because they couldn't be here for it and we had them on cam right up until I started screaming bloody murder lol (went natural lol). We were right back up on cam with them right after the birth. So we definitely understand how crazy it can get, but all the rest of the family was there and we felt like we were definitely left out. its one thing to wait until it isn't so crazy, but its quite another to wait two hours THEN post on facebook. A phone call at least would have been nice . We just wanted to know before we found out on facebook with everyone else that wasn't there. Felt kinda jipped. But I get where a lot of you are coming from. I guess we're just bumming pretty badly that they are across state and we couldn't be there
04/04/2012
Contributor: duff duff
its just the fastest way to tell everyone. Bit if I were me, id tell the most important people than the world
04/04/2012
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by MamaDivine
Hey everyone, its Jmex's Mrs lol.

I can agree with most of what was posted here, with "parents getting crazy with the birth". Hubby and I have been through two births together now (I have four total-2 with him). He knows how ... more
In this post and in your other post about your other sister-in-law not being concerned about seeing your children...I'm getting the feeling that you care much more about these things than they do. And that's not necessarily a bad thing, but you can't expect people to act just like you did when you birthed your child. The relationship you may feel you have with them may not be the relationship they feel they have with you, does that make sense?
04/04/2012
Contributor: underHim underHim
Dont be offended. The only people I called to inform directly was my and his parents. Everyone else got birth announcements in the mail. We were literally just too busy to worry about calling everyone. I was too tired and elated to even care if anyone was offended.
04/04/2012
Contributor: Kissy Kissy
They just had a baby. They are exhausted and just want to savor the moments with it. I think facebook is a great solution to let everyone know at once, and not have to take away from the moments with their kid.
04/04/2012
Contributor: voenne voenne
I agree with everyone about not getting offended because things were overwhelming and most likely hectic. They're right. But I admit I tend to hate when people post these sorts of things on Facebook and I'm the last to know. It just seems impersonal to me and I sometimes feel sad or less important than everyone else, so I totally understand where you guys are coming from. Just try not to take it personally.
04/04/2012
Contributor: js250 js250
Quote:
Originally posted by MamaDivine
Hey everyone, its Jmex's Mrs lol.

I can agree with most of what was posted here, with "parents getting crazy with the birth". Hubby and I have been through two births together now (I have four total-2 with him). He knows how ... more
I do understand exactly where you are coming from. Please do not feel like I was trying to push your legitimate feelings to the side. You sound like a conscientious, well mannered and respectful person who was taught to include everyone, write thank you notes (even when you say thanks), and you try to do the right and friendly thing in all circumstances. That is how I was taught as well. Some people are more casual about manners and have a more relaxed opinion about etiquette. Please try to overlook their faux paus and rejoice in the new blessings. Your feelings are very real and legitimate, however there are many different factors at stake. My experience was somewhat similar to yours, however there were a few differences!!

My daughter and her husband live 1786 miles away from me and it was her first and only pregnancy. They called from the hospital and I was on the phone with them for most of the night and part of the next day until the hard labor set in. No phones allowed. I sat and worried my head off for what seemed like eons, but was about 5-6 hours. Finally, my daughter calls and says it is an emergency c-section. I was dead broke, NOT with my only child when she was having my grandchild (I had so planned to be!) and she has to have emergency c-section. I was upset beyond belief that I could not be there, therefore I was actually pissed--at myself for not figuring out how to be there, at my husband for not figuring out how to get me there, at the people who were there and most of all; I was pissed that I was so hurt and left out of the actual special moments that I felt pissed. (Make sense???) My son in law's mom called me and let me know we had a girl, she was healthy and beautiful, my daughter was fine and etc. about half hour after the delivery. I am so grateful to her for that and so damn jealous it isn't funny. I know it is petty, but in the moment I could not look through my mixed emotions. ---All b.s. aside, what bothered me the whole time was that I was unable to be there for ME, my daughter and son-in-law and my grandbaby. The big picture is that I have an amazing daughter & son-in-law, and an adorable, happy, healthy 1 yr. old grandchild I will meet for the first time this year.

Sorry for the book, I hope this may somehow help, at least you know you are not 'alone' in your feelings. (Please, do NOT let my daughter read this post!!!!--silent prayer--)
04/04/2012
Contributor: Undead Undead
Maybe a little but I would say something nicely about it but not cause a fight.
04/06/2012
Contributor: wildorchid wildorchid
I'm sorry, facebook may be the fastest and easiest, but that is no substitute for a phone call to immediate family. I get that things are hectic, but you can bet your butt my in laws are getting a damn phone call from SOMEONE, anyone to tell them the info. It probably won't be from me or my hubby, but still. Don't blame you at all for being a bit put out. The whole time limit thing wouldn't bother me given all the excitement, but if it were me you'd get a phone call at least.

My friend had a list of people she wanted personally called regarding the birth of her second child; the task was carried out by her mom and dad. The rest of us got a mass text from proud papa an hour later (even then, I thought, quit worrying about us!). Facebook is the last thing on my list of to do's when I have a child.
04/06/2012
Contributor: Chirple Chirple
I guess I'm a new-age weirdo. I don't see why it really matters. I understand worrying about someone's safety - but this is a special time for THEM, not everyone else they know. Good to be happy for them, but that's your choice.
04/06/2012