The New Intimacy

Which do you usually prefer to do: ask permission or ask for forgiveness?

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Contributor: spiced spiced
Earlier today, I had lunch next to an electronics place. I noticed they had Blu-ray players on sale for a lot less than I would have expected. I probably should have talked it over with my wife first...but I just went ahead and bought one. The place is several miles from our house, I rationalized; they might sell out before I get back. And — if I ask her, she might say no!

As it turned out, she wasn't the least bit annoyed. Well, maybe just the least bit.

How do you usually handle this sort of thing? Would you rather ask for permission, or risk having to ask for forgiveness?
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
I prefer to ask permission.
married with children , treehugger , Melan!e , Jordan B , Hentialover , Leather & Lace , spiced
7  (50%)
I'd rather risk having to ask for forgiveness.
Missy27 , cowboywill87 , Gunsmoke
3  (21%)
Other?
js250 , Martiniman , El-Jaro , KinkyKatieJames
4  (29%)
Total votes: 14
Poll is closed
04/16/2013
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Contributor: Missy27 Missy27
Typically I prefer forgiveness but when it comes to my husband, its not usually a permission thing as an agreement thing. But if I cannot get in contact I will just do what I think is right.
04/16/2013
Contributor: spiced spiced
Quote:
Originally posted by Missy27
Typically I prefer forgiveness but when it comes to my husband, its not usually a permission thing as an agreement thing. But if I cannot get in contact I will just do what I think is right.
It's almost always an agreement thing with us, too. I used the word "permission" because it fit the saying. And actually, I hardly ever do what I did today; it must be the Spring weather!
04/17/2013
Contributor: married with children married with children
I would rather ask before, then beg for forgiveness.
04/17/2013
Contributor: js250 js250
Since we each make our own money, this is not an issue with us. It is more of...where to put the items after it is purchased.
04/17/2013
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
I voted to ask for forgiveness - but this is not a relationship problem - it's my approach in the workplace.

In our marriage each of us are free to make these decisions without need to explain or justify what we've done.
04/17/2013
Contributor: Melan!e Melan!e
I just like running things by my partner first. I like having him involved in our decision making (at least when it comes to things that - even if it's just a little bit - involve the both of us). So if something like this happens to me, I'd just send him a quick text and we'd make the decision together fast.
04/17/2013
Contributor: spiced spiced
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
Since we each make our own money, this is not an issue with us. It is more of...where to put the items after it is purchased.
Where to put the item is a big issue with my wife. For anything we consider bringing into the house, she needs to know exactly where it's going to go. Fortunately with the blu-ray player, it simply replaced our existing DVD player (which now has a new home with the TV in the guest room).
04/17/2013
Contributor: Jordan B Jordan B
For the most part, I like to talk to my girlfriend first but sometimes I just can't help myself and must then "ask for forgiveness".
04/17/2013
Contributor: spiced spiced
Quote:
Originally posted by Melan!e
I just like running things by my partner first. I like having him involved in our decision making (at least when it comes to things that - even if it's just a little bit - involve the both of us). So if something like this happens to me, I'd ... more
We do that 95% of the time or more.

I had just spoken with my wife before going to lunch and knew she was going to be in an important meeting for at least the next hour. She never wants to discuss this kind of thing during the workday anyway, and really, I don't either. Usually, we discuss this stuff in the evenings, but since they only had a couple of the players left, I figured what the hell.
04/17/2013
Contributor: spiced spiced
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
I voted to ask for forgiveness - but this is not a relationship problem - it's my approach in the workplace.

In our marriage each of us are free to make these decisions without need to explain or justify what we've done.
My last boss always got really bent out of shape when anybody did that — which is one of the reasons I work for myself now.
04/17/2013
Contributor: Martiniman Martiniman
It depends on the situation really.
04/17/2013
Contributor: Hentialover Hentialover
Quote:
Originally posted by spiced
Earlier today, I had lunch next to an electronics place. I noticed they had Blu-ray players on sale for a lot less than I would have expected. I probably should have talked it over with my wife first...but I just went ahead and bought one. The place ... more
Though I don't think buying things is something I need 'permission' for. At least not for anything under a 100$. I can say that if I wasn't positive whatever I was buying was going to upset my roomie, I'd probably ask her first, even if it risked missing out on the product. Sometimes asking for forgiveness ends with your partner, friend or roommate being pissed at you for goodness knows how long, and that's something I hate. Especailly if you are exiled to the couch.

Still if it was a -great- deal ,and i really wanted it. I'd go for it, pissed off people or not.
04/17/2013
Contributor: Leather & Lace Leather & Lace
I'd rather ask for permission.
04/17/2013
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
You can only ask forgiveness so many times before you're talking to yourself.
04/17/2013
Contributor: KinkyKatieJames KinkyKatieJames
It depends on the situation. With something big, get permission. Something trivial, I'd just do it. Normally, it wouldn't be something that would even require forgiveness.
04/17/2013