The New Intimacy

What impact has verbal or emotional abuse had on your life or the life of a partner/friend?

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Contributor: js250 js250
With the types and levels of emotional and verbal abuse, I would say it is a fair guess that either one of us or a friend or partner has been affected by this type of abuse. While subtle and hard to prove, this is one of the more damaging forms of abuse and it can slowly erode away facets of a person's life and personality.

To prevent this this from happening to others or ourselves, if you could share a story or experience--this may open up the door for someone to get help or the realization that they are not alone. It may also help another to realize what is happening to them currently in their life so they may be able to deal with it on a better, stronger level.
05/08/2013
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Contributor: mjtheprincess mjtheprincess
You know I think this is a great idea. It is so important for men and women alike to realize that verbal abuse is REAL abuse, and it is so incredibly damaging. I spent every day for five months with a guy who did nothing but tell me I wasn't good enough. When someone tells you you aren't good enough every day, you believe it. And the fact of the matter is every person deserves someone who makes them feel like they are more than good enough. Shortly after breaking it off with my verbally abusive ex, I found my current man. I have never in my life felt so worthy of happiness. Everyone deserves that...to feel like they can fail and still be good enough. Just remember that you're never stuck, and you're never alone, and you always, always, deserve to feel happy.
05/08/2013
Contributor: KyotoAngel KyotoAngel
Well, my mother and I are going though something like that right now actually.
We're constantly walking on metaphorical eggshells to try and avoid setting her boyfriend off, and keep all of our opinions (even the helpful ones) to ourselves. He's one of those that thinks he's right...all the time...no matter how much proof he's presented with that he's wrong.
My mother has even gotten to the point where his negativity and harsh critique of the little craft projects she likes to do have sunk into her brain so deep that she can't see anything she makes as being good.

From past instances of this sort of abuse, she's gotten into the habit of constantly apologizing to pretty much everyone for things that, most of the time, aren't even within her control or her fault at all.
Add that to the fact that I've become so protective of her because of all of these abusive men she's been with that I actually wound up sitting outside her bedroom door with a knife a few times when one of her exes and her got into an argument.
To be fair though, they were very heated arguments and I was rightfully worried that the guys were going to hurt her physically.

There was even one man back when I was really little (maybe 6 at the most) that even threatened to set our new apartment on fire and roast marshmallows over our burning corpses if she didn't take him back again.

I know it goes both ways too...I'm sure there's women out there like that.
Part of me feels almost responsible in a way, I kept thinking that if I were just a little older and stronger, I could protect her and give these sad excuses for men a desperately needed lesson in just how much their behavior hurts.
05/09/2013