What do you do if you think that someone dislikes you?

Contributor: Ryuson Ryuson
Hey, all! I just had a quick question. If you thought that someone disliked you (you hadn't done anything mean to them and you didn't have any idea why they disliked you) what would you do about it? I just have a situation like this and wanted to see what everyone else thought.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Confront them about it
3
Try and be more friendly to them
4
Try and avoid them
8
Try and go behind their back and ask their friends why they're acting that way
4
It depends (please comment!)
29
Other (Please comment!)
10
Total votes: 58 (45 voters)
Poll is closed
05/17/2012
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Contributor: Beck Beck
It depends. How often to I have to deal with this person? If it's on a regular basis, I have to figure out a way for us to at least tolerate each other. If I don't have to deal with them that often, I just ignore them.


It's their loss if they don't like you. You're a sweetie!
05/17/2012
Contributor: xilliannax xilliannax
Quote:
Originally posted by Ryuson
Hey, all! I just had a quick question. If you thought that someone disliked you (you hadn't done anything mean to them and you didn't have any idea why they disliked you) what would you do about it? I just have a situation like this and ... more
Depends...
Do I like them?
Are they a good person?
Do I care?

All three of these have to be YES for me to do anything... otherwise I dont really put much thought into it.
05/17/2012
Contributor: ejrbrndps ejrbrndps
I would just not talk to them, don't really care who likes or dislikes me, it doesn't really bother more at all. Although I never met someone who disliked me
05/17/2012
Contributor: Jaimes Jaimes
Could go two ways.

If you value the person in your sphere of life, talk to them. Maybe ask their opinions on certain things, talk about what they do, what they love, and what drives them. You may find that they just needed a chance to really figure you out, and it's hard not to like a person that asks questions and just listens to what you have to say. You don't necessarily have to bring up "Why don't you care for me?" to have an impact on their opinion. Maybe they just need a better second impression. But if that's the choice you make, hold onto the high road. If it turns sour, walk away pleasantly. You'll feel better about your actions later, and you'll know you gave them an honest chance, but didn't seek unnecessary conflict.

If they are not someone of value to you, in the sense that it doesn't make you happy to be around them; if you aren't trying to do right by mutual friends and make them more comfortable by having the two of you be civil with each other, then you can make the choice to simply avoid them.

Don't let unnecessary negativity into your life, there just isn't enough time for all that. But conversely, consider trying to cultivate additional positivity. It's up to you to decide into which area this person might fall, and then follow the healthiest path for both of you.
05/17/2012
Contributor: Lover of Leather Lover of Leather
It depends on if I know them or not. If I do, then it depends on if I care about them enough to know why they don't like me. If I do, then I'll ask them about it and try to resolve the problem.
05/17/2012
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
I would simply remember that quote "Your opinion of me is none of my business."

I'd be nice to them when I needed to interact with them, but really, I don't need to be loved, valued and cherished by everyone in the world in order to be a worthwhile person. Especially if I'd need to change who I am just to get them to like me.
05/17/2012
Contributor: Ryuson Ryuson
Wow, thanks for all of the stellar responses, everyone! I really love how I can post something personal like this and get such well thought out and kind advice. It really is something that seems unique to this community.

@Beck- You're such a sweetheart! Thank you so much for the compliment.

@Jaimes- Wow, thank you so much for being thorough. Since I've already tried too reach out and be positive towards them with nothing I think that I will just try and forget about it. You're right about not needing all of that unnecessary negativity in my life.

@Indiglo- That's a really good point, I guess I just get upset when someone doesn't like me and I don't know why. I think it's easy to get caught up in the mentality of wanting everyone to like you in general instead of feeling like people who like you for who you really are are the ones that matter.

Thanks again for all of the lovely words, guys!
05/17/2012
Contributor: Falsepast Falsepast
it really depends on who it was
05/17/2012
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by indiglo
I would simply remember that quote "Your opinion of me is none of my business."

I'd be nice to them when I needed to interact with them, but really, I don't need to be loved, valued and cherished by everyone in the world in ... more
I tend to think along those lines too.

If someone doesn't like me, I usually wait until they say so. I really don't spend time thinking about whether people like me or not. I like to think I'm a decent bloke and if someone doesn't like me, it's their problem.
05/17/2012
Contributor: Raym Raym
It completely depends for me. Do you even like them? Are they friends of your close friends? In some instances, I could care less. In others, I would at least try and discover the reason if not attempt to fix it.
05/17/2012
Contributor: js250 js250
It really depends on their place in my life. If it is someone who I have to come into contact with that I could like I will talk to them about it casually. See if there is any way to put the issue behind us and move on. Depending on their answer, that is what we do.

If it is someone who is not part of my daily life, I am polite and decent when I have to interact with them and then just let it go, their loss. I don't have time to make everyone in the world happy and would rather concentrate on those I love and care about.

If it is a stranger from the internet sites or public store---fuck 'em. They are too insignificant to worry about. Honestly, what impact does that have on your life other than the couple seconds every now and again that you might or not have to deal with them.

There are important people, special friends and others who return your friendship and love that are the most important people to worry about!!! You are not going to like everyone YOU meet, don't expect everyone to like you after meeting you. I try to remember this when I get too involved in making everyone like me...it helps!!
05/17/2012
Contributor: ghent529 ghent529
I could really careless. No hard feelings but it really doesn't matter to me. If someone doesn't like me it's not really my problem.
05/17/2012
Contributor: Ms. N Ms. N
There is no rule in life that everyone has to like you, or that you have to like everyone. As long as they are not doing anything to cause you trouble, carry on with your life and don't worry about it.
05/17/2012
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
There is someone who I know who has decided she doesn't care for me. Never gave me a reason, but makes it blatantly clear by her increasingly rude demeanor (Not including me in group photos, deliberately and obviously... getting between me and a person I'm conversing with). I've had, maybe, 10 conversations with her in my entire life, so I'm not sure what the issue is. I'm curious, but ultimately, it doesn't really matter. I don't think that she's a person I need or want in my life.

Besides, when she's around, there's a negativity that fills the room. Don't know how to explain it other than, just knowing she's around drains me.

My advice... people who act like this are immature and, ultimately, not worthy of my attention. Be polite and nice if you have to spend time around them, but don't go out of your way to resolve it. A real man/woman would talk to you about the issue.

Also, it's really none of your business what people think about you. It's the reason we're not mind readers.
05/17/2012
Contributor: Love Obsessed Love Obsessed
I really wouldn't care if someone dislikes me.I may try to ask someone else why they don't like me but,that only if I thought they were mature enough to answer.
05/17/2012
Contributor: pootpootpoot pootpootpoot
I just try to avoid them and hope that they don't purposefully cause trouble. I'm pretty sure that if someone has a problem with me they wouldn't want me around them.
05/17/2012
Contributor: JackNit JackNit
I just avoid them if they don't like me oh well.
05/17/2012
Contributor: Geogeo Geogeo
Id' just avoid them. I'm not concerned what people think of me, and I know I'm a little unapproachable and look 'different' because of piercings and tattoos so I'm used to people not liking me for no good reason.
05/17/2012
Contributor: Master DarkWolf Master DarkWolf
It depends on the person.
05/17/2012
Contributor: DreamWolf DreamWolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Master DarkWolf
It depends on the person.
Indeed... ^^
05/17/2012
Contributor: deltalima deltalima
Quote:
Originally posted by Ryuson
Hey, all! I just had a quick question. If you thought that someone disliked you (you hadn't done anything mean to them and you didn't have any idea why they disliked you) what would you do about it? I just have a situation like this and ... more
Probably nothing.
05/17/2012
Contributor: ksparkles16 ksparkles16
It depends...if it's someone I have to deal with, I may say something. If it's a random person in a class or something I probably wouldn't bother.
05/18/2012
Contributor: TheSinDoll TheSinDoll
I wouldn't give a fuck.
05/18/2012
Contributor: TheSinDoll TheSinDoll
Quote:
Originally posted by Ryuson
Hey, all! I just had a quick question. If you thought that someone disliked you (you hadn't done anything mean to them and you didn't have any idea why they disliked you) what would you do about it? I just have a situation like this and ... more
BTW, I think you rock. Just tell them to "suck it."
05/18/2012
Contributor: Breas Breas
I'm not sure. It really depends on the person. I'd probably talk to them about it because maybe I was just being paranoid and thinking they don't like me but maybe I'm wrong? lol I dunno

I wouldn't "go behind their back and talk to their friends" because I think that could turn really bad, really quickly. I'd just talk to the person. If it's a misunderstanding on my part, I'd quickly find out. If the person really didn't like me, I could find out why.

but then again... not everyone is going to like me. There's always going to be someone who has an issue... even if it's a silly issue. For those type of people, I wouldn't care.
05/18/2012
Contributor: G&L G&L
It depends on the situation. If you have to constantly be around that person then I would say confront them. But even that good not work out.
05/18/2012
Contributor: 31 Flavors 31 Flavors
If it's somebody that I view favorably, then I may be a little more friendly towards them. Otherwise, I can't spend my time worrying about what I can't control.
05/18/2012
Contributor: Terri69 Terri69
I just avoid them, why bother?...they're most likely my effort
05/18/2012
Contributor: richsam richsam
Quote:
Originally posted by Ryuson
Hey, all! I just had a quick question. If you thought that someone disliked you (you hadn't done anything mean to them and you didn't have any idea why they disliked you) what would you do about it? I just have a situation like this and ... more
it depends on the person..im the type of person that if u dont like me the oh well cause theres a good chance i dont like u ethier...not everyone is gonna like u thats just how it is
05/18/2012