The New Intimacy

Welcome back, Dame Demi!

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Contributor: Victoria Victoria
We were so happy to see Dame Demi posting on the forum this week (link)that we just wanted to give her an official big WELCOME BACK thread to let her know we’re so touched to hear that she feels like Eden is home to her.

Dame Demi, your comments about Eden were very kind and mean a lot to us.

See, what many community members may not know is, Dame Demi was one of our first reviewers. She has been with us for over 4 years, she is the only contributor to reach a rank of 9.9, and she did 221 reviews at a time with most people had merely a handful (2 years ago). Many many reviewers said they felt that Dame Demi set the standard for what a review should include, for what a reviewer could aspire to – she was looked up to so much! And she was always there for people when they had questions. She was never competitive. She commented on other people’s reviews, she answered so many questions in private messages – she was the epitome of what it means to be part of a community.

So, obviously, when she left for a while, we missed her dearly. We get attached to the people who really make this place their home, and she did just that.

Dame Demi – you will ALWAYS have a home here; whenever you can make your way over to spend some time here, there is a place for you. You are appreciated and loved!

We hope for so many good things in the future for you, and for the new year to be wonderful and exciting. If you are just in PA soon, as you say you will be, we will happily have you over for a visit and do lunch whenever you are ready.

Big huge hugs to you! Welcome back!
10/08/2010
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Contributor: Sammi Sammi
Welcome back! You have been missed, and it's so good to see you around again!
10/08/2010
Contributor: Tuesday Tuesday
Welcome back Dame Demi! I've missed you and your cute shoes.
10/08/2010
Contributor: TitsMcScandal TitsMcScandal
I wasn't around back then, but to hear how welcomed you are means you must have been pretty flippin awesome. So I am looking forward to getting to know you more!

So welcome back!
10/08/2010
Contributor: Persephone Nightmare Persephone Nightmare
Welcome back!!!! I'm still new-ish here, and like TitsMcScandal, I wasn't around way back when, lol, but welcome all the same
10/08/2010
Contributor: Kayla Kayla
Welcome back. I wasn't around the first time either, but 9.9 is pretty amazing. It's always great to have an amazing contributor back
10/08/2010
Contributor: Selective Sensualist Selective Sensualist
I'm new here, too, so while you might not know me, your reputation precedes you and I look forward to getting to know you.

Welcome back!
10/09/2010
Contributor: Jobthingy Jobthingy
Quote:
Originally posted by Selective Sensualist
I'm new here, too, so while you might not know me, your reputation precedes you and I look forward to getting to know you.

Welcome back!
Indeed.

I am sorry you are having a rough go of things.. but I hope this helps *huge hugs*


Welcome back
10/09/2010
Contributor: Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by TitsMcScandal
I wasn't around back then, but to hear how welcomed you are means you must have been pretty flippin awesome. So I am looking forward to getting to know you more!

So welcome back!
Welcome! I also didn't know you but cheers on your return!
10/09/2010
Contributor: Rockin' Rockin'
Welcome back! I remember seeing you around on the forum, but I joined EF not long before you left. I'm glad you're back!
10/09/2010
Contributor: namelesschaos namelesschaos
Welcome back 9.9?! I didn't even know that was possible. Very impressive.
10/09/2010
Contributor: Viktor Vysheslav Malkin Viktor Vysheslav Malkin
Welcome back
10/09/2010
Contributor: Kindred Kindred
Welcome back DD! While I am new to EF as well, I have read many of your reviews and look forward to hopefully reading new ones.
10/09/2010
Contributor: ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
Welcome back! Lots of hugs and well wishes for you.
I look forward to seeing you on the forum and reading you reviews.
10/09/2010
Contributor: Jenn (aka kissmykitty) Jenn (aka kissmykitty)
(EdenFantasys)
Wow, Dame Demi, you have made quite the name for yourself here at EdenFantasys! I've only been with the company for about eight months, so I am definitely in awe of you. Congratulations on such a high ranking, and I hope that in the future you're able to re-join us.

*hugs* Best of luck and good vibes for everything you're dealing with right now!
10/10/2010
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Lots of hugs and well wishes from me as well, welcome back
10/10/2010
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by Victoria
We were so happy to see Dame Demi posting on the forum this week (link)that we just wanted to give her an official big WELCOME BACK thread to let her know we’re so touched to hear that she feels like Eden is home to her.

Dame Demi, your ... more
YEAY it is official!
10/10/2010
Contributor: Gary Gary
Welcome Back!
10/11/2010
Contributor: Dame Demi Dame Demi
Well, I feel like a dumbass since a thread dedicated to me has been up for a week and I haven't even said hi yet. “Wow, Victoria started a thread just for this chick and she hasn’t even posted on it yet—yeah, she seems really deserving and special. Pfft.” That’s probably what I’d be thinking, anyway, but my usual cheerful and oddly-optimistic cynicism has taken a turn toward “grumpy” (on good days) and “bitter” (on bad days) due to the events of the last few years, so that tends to color my thoughts just a tad. Thankfully, I’m gradually letting go of the “bitter;” I can live with “grumpy” for awhile—it’s pointless, but at least it’s not destructive.
For those of you who don’t know me, I’m going through a divorce. I don’t know if mine is more painful than average—I’d imagine it’s worse than some and better than others—but it’s felt like the end of the world to me. When I got married, for the first time in my life, I was truly TERRIFIED of death and illness—not for myself, but because I didn’t want to be cheated out of the years ahead, of spending the rest of my life with my husband. I already regretted the 21 years I’d lived without him, and I didn’t want to be robbed of a future with him. Maybe that sounds hokey, dramatic, or sappy, but it’s the truth. And I never stopped feeling that way. Realistically, I can’t support myself here in Dallas, so my divorce means leaving my home of the past 13 years, the house my husband and I built together, my friends here, and a city and state I truly love. That’s really, really devastating. But losing my marriage—that trumps all the other losses a million times over. I’d give up everything to live in a (big) box with my husband and my dog, if I had to. We don’t have kids, I don’t have a career—my husband was my life. So I’m in the process of trying to cope with losing the husband without giving up the life.
Last week was a mess of lawyers, soon-to-be-ex husbands, and doctors, followed by a weekend of flu-shot fallout. That's my excuse, anyway; realistically, most days these days aren't really what I'd consider 'good.' But the worst days are generally less horrible than they were a couple years ago, and occasionally I'll have one that doesn't totally suck. I've gone from believing I'm going to freeze to death in a dilapidated hunting shack one PA winter and be half-eaten by my dogs before anyone even notices I'm missing in the spring, to merely hoping the 2012 prophecies will pan out so I won't have to worry about a retirement plan. Plus, Armageddon...you know, you really can't take it personally as a karmic slap in the face. And it would probably be something to see.
Sorry...hopefully some of you are familiar enough with me to know I've got a morbid sense of humor and am very fond of hyperbole. I really need to get one of those t-shirts with the "I'm out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?" saying. That probably sums things up pretty well for now; dealing with an uncertain present BEFORE planning on an uncertain future helps it all be a little less frightening, but, unfortunately, nothing makes it less painful.
God, I sound like such a sad sack, don't I? I'm coping, and though the last 4 years have been almost pure hell, I'm still here; and, despite what I lose, I'm grateful to have had so many genuinely GOOD years. That made things harder, at first, feeling your wonderful life slip away; but I'm losing more than a whole lot of people ever even dream of having, so self-pity gives way to pragmatism little by little, and ob-la-di, ob-la-da, life goes on.
I'm really amazed by your response at Eden--the replies to my initial post were amazing enough, and then you gave me my own thread?! That's just wild…and wonderful. It doesn't only make me feel loved and missed, it makes me feel respected, which has been pretty rare for a long time. It also makes me care, and feel like I want to be worthy of all this. I just thought I wrote a lot of reviews; I cringe when I see some of the older stuff--back when it seemed most of us had no clue what TPR was, and didn't realize not everything labeled 'silicone' is created equal. I didn't know I was making an impact; I was indulging my shopping habit, writing regularly for the first time since college, masturbating frequently (and conveniently, since I was hitting my sexual prime!), and then I made friends and got free stuff! It was pretty damn sweet as it was; knowing it helped people made it fulfilling; knowing it helped shape an important part of what makes Eden so special makes it...an honor.
I have been popping in, but so much is new and different—and a little scary for someone my age. I don’t blog, I don’t tweet, so this is all a little intimidating, but I’m so happy to see Eden’s growing and using new communication mediums to reach out further than ever before! I'm so far behind I never saw the forum post, so thank you to Victoria for pointing it out--it never would have even occurred to me to look! You're special people; you've accomplished something truly phenomenal—even though I haven’t been around, I tell men and women about Eden every chance I get; I handed out 5 Eden web-info slips in a single trip to the mall last week (not having any money would make spending a day at the mall pointless for most people, but I can always find a way!). The fact you’ve all gone so far out of your way to make me see, feel, and truly BELIEVE I was a part of that...I can't even describe how wonderful that is. Just...thank you.
Anyway, I'll wrap this up for now. I need to get out more, seriously; I can't say "hello" in less than 200 words these days. Thank you again for everything, and if the offer stands, I would be beyond thrilled to drive to Jersey for lunch; I’m 38 and will be living with my parents—at least for awhile—and while we get along very well, I’m sure a mini road trip would be a great idea!
Thank you again, for caring, and for showing it in such a beautiful way. I love you all.

With more gratitude than you realize,

--DD (Dame Demi)
10/22/2010
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
I will add my praise as well. It was Dame Demi and Bulma that critiqued my early reviews when it seemed all I had to say was OMFG I LOVED THIS! They were so sweet and even when I got things hopelessly wrong they gently and kindly pointed out the mistakes like they knew how fragile my ego was. Demi in particular was the reason I had the courage to continue, she was so genuine and caring. It was SUCH an honor to know she was actually reading MY reviews!
I came here at a hard but scary life changing time of my life as well, I wish we had had more time to get to know each other.
Don't feel badly though, Hun. I am an old woman myself and mostly can't understand the need to twitter (or is it tweet?) I've never been able to figure out how to add pictures to my reviews or any other gadget...we'll muddle through.
~Airen
10/23/2010
Contributor: Serendipity Serendipity
Hey Dame Demi, welcome back! I always recalled how active you were here on the site. Take care of yourself and I look forward to seeing more of those shoes here again (La Roux formerly Cherry)
10/23/2010
Contributor: Dame Demi Dame Demi
Quote:
Originally posted by Kayla
Welcome back. I wasn't around the first time either, but 9.9 is pretty amazing. It's always great to have an amazing contributor back
Heh, the ranking system was a litte differen't last time I was around, and I don't think I even realized I'd reached a 9.9. That IS pretty amazing/surprising, though, and very, very flattering, touching, and just plain COOL! Thanks!
10/23/2010
Contributor: Dame Demi Dame Demi
Quote:
Originally posted by Tuesday
Welcome back Dame Demi! I've missed you and your cute shoes.
Thanks so much! *hugs* And, I must admit, I freaking LOVE those shoes! I like schoolgirl outfits, so finding them was like a dream come true! The picture doesn't do them justice--patent leather, 5" platform SADDLE SHOES! Gah--on a site like Eden, we really, really need a "Lust" Smiley!
10/23/2010
Contributor: Dame Demi Dame Demi
Quote:
Originally posted by Sammi
Welcome back! You have been missed, and it's so good to see you around again!
Trust me, you've all been missed as well. Even those of you I don't know. Yet.
10/23/2010
Contributor: Pandahb Pandahb
Welcome back Dame Demi, nice to meet you My mom was in a similar situation as you. She had no job and my dad divorced her. Even 6 years later she still is a little shaken. I hope you stay strong and hold onto your support.
10/23/2010
Contributor: Dame Demi Dame Demi
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
I will add my praise as well. It was Dame Demi and Bulma that critiqued my early reviews when it seemed all I had to say was OMFG I LOVED THIS! They were so sweet and even when I got things hopelessly wrong they gently and kindly pointed out the ... more
Airen! Great to hear from you again! You’re such an asset to Eden, and I’ve loved you from day 1! I laughed when I read your response to my initial post: “I was one of those lil upstarts who refused to be quiet back in the day..,” because I was actually referring to MYSELF as one of the ‘impudent upstarts’ when I entered the community. I guess the stubborn new upstarts are what makes and keeps Eden what it is. I didn't realize you were an old lady like I--must be that foxy avatar of yours. (I mentioned this in another post, but Eden SERIOUSLY needs a “Lust” Smiley!!!) I'm actually thrilled to hear that; when I was last regularly around, the Eden community seemed largely composed of people in their 20's, so I was excited to be able to help represent--and provide information--for older women. Due to (originally mild, but persistent) clinical depression and anxiety issues, I've also been on various forms of anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medications for over 15 years, and was also pleased to be able to offer insight to those whose sex drive or sexual pleasure was affected by medication. As I'm sure you understand, I felt like I was contributing something to an important minority of the community; it was wonderful to be able to help others with some of the same issues that affected me, and warn the female young'uns what to expect when the hormones went into overdrive after 30! I've always encouraged my friends to explore exciting possibilities sexual toys and aides have to offer. Older women might not have made up the majority of the community, but they are a demographic group who are prone to have a high sex drive, are often afraid to speak openly with their sexual partners about any dissatisfaction with their own sexual fulfillment with/by that partner, and--to Eden's benefit as a business--are likely to have more disposable income than students or those just 'starting out' in their careers and their adult lives. I'm not sure if or how the community profile has changed; I wonder if Eden's ever compiled a general profile of the community demographics? I'll have to look; but I'll probably get lazy and just end up emailing Carrie Ann or Victoria. If nobody's done it yet, even in an informal post-survey, I think the statistics would be interesting and beneficial to the community as a whole. (Oh! I just found a poll by SexyySarah on this very issue—I hope more people will respond! I was surprised to see the percentage of women 38+ is actually the highest so far at 29%! I think that’s changed since I was around, but it’s wonderful to see! And, just as an aside to my aside, if I didn’t totally trust her, there’s no way in hell I would have ever guessed/believed Carrie Ann is older than I am. You ROCK that pink hair, woman! [reiterating NEED for a 'lust' smiley!]).

I miss Bulma terribly. Her departure was a serious loss to the community. It's nice to see some familiar 'faces' are still here and still active, and am hoping more will pop up as time goes on. I noticed Jimbo on my 'followers' list, so I'm hoping he's still around somewhere. It’s been great hearing from you, Naughty Student, Adriana Ravenlust, ~LaUr3n~, Red, Persephone Nightmare (you’re not THAT new-ish, and I certainly know who you are!) NuMe (see previous comment to Persephone Nightmare), Sammi, La Roux/Cherry, Destri, Bucking Bill, Gary/Yeti, and of course, Victoria and Carrie Ann (not to mention Fred!). I’m also thrilled to see people like ThePornLibrarian, Sir, Backseat Boohoo, Safo Garcia, Cynthia (Miss Cinnamon to me), Beautiful Dreamer, and others are still around. There are other names missing from the list, in addition to Bulma— my dear Oggins, Sleeping Dreamer (does anyone know if she’ll return after she has her baby?), Epiphora, Cock Wrangler, Essin’ Em, Chris, Saurou, Hotflashes & Wetdreams, Spiking Glue, Mamastoys, and DBD and AAG. I know some of these departures were unpleasant, and there may be others I don’t know about, so I apologize if I’m stepping on any toes. There are just a lot of people I’m sad to see gone, and hope maybe someday some of them will find their way back.

I’m definitely glad YOU are still around, though! Thank you so much for making me feel so welcome-d back; and thank you even more for making me feel missed. I missed you, too.
10/23/2010
Contributor: Dame Demi Dame Demi
Quote:
Originally posted by Victoria
We were so happy to see Dame Demi posting on the forum this week (link)that we just wanted to give her an official big WELCOME BACK thread to let her know we’re so touched to hear that she feels like Eden is home to her.

Dame Demi, your ... more
Hi everyone.

For those of you who know me, or have been following my long, sad saga, I wanted to let you know my divorce was finalized yesterday morning. I'm not looking to wallow in misery and milk sympathy; I know people care. I'm letting you know because I think some of you will want to know; I'm not asking for anything. You've already all given me so much.

I feel terrible. I was welcomed back here so warmly--the Eden staff, in particular, were amazing to me. They, and my friends here, made me feel missed, loved, and most importantly, useful. I've spent several years feeling pretty worthless and like a complete failure. Hearing people say 'you made a difference,' 'you are good at this,' 'I learned so much from you' was the best present anyone could have given me.

So I repaid it by falling off the radar again a few weeks later. *sigh* I'm sorry. Things have been rough for a long time, and my reserves are low. I've also currently got the attention span of a gnat, so focus is definitely a big problem. I'm awake and sober, but the days keep ending and I don't know what happened to them.

Obviously, I've had reason to be preoccupied. The last few weeks have been a chaotic limbo, a turbulent nothing; nothing really happened, but nothing was as it should be. It's easy to get lost; living alone, mostly just waiting--time ceases to have any meaning. Time of day, day of the week, day of the month--no clue half the time, hasn't really mattered. You can wait on Sunday night or Wednesday morning, and it's pretty much the same.

So now--Christmas is 15 days away, and I'm getting ready to move 17 years of life, the contents of a 3-bedroom house occupied by one person and a bulldog, me, my car, and the bulldog from TX to PA. And, of course, sicko sense of humor the Cosmos has, it throws this stuff at you when you're least capable of managing it. But, somehow, we do.

I've got a very busy few weeks ahead. Then I'll be living with Mom & Dad for at least the rest of the winter (yay; I'd die happy if I never saw snow again, and I'm moving back to PA). I'll probably pop in from time to time. But I hope to be back for good before too long. I just need some time to recover, then recharge. I want to come back with something to offer. Considering how the Eden staff has treated me, and if those of you who've posted and written to me mean what you said, I have to--I owe it to you all. Gah, that looks conceited now that I've typed it, sorry. I didn't mean you need the magnificence of my presence to carry on (that's kind of how it looked to me when I typed it). I mean you've given me so much, it's my turn to give back, and I want to give you my best. I just have to find it in this mess.

I love this community and this site. I recommend it for the products; I come back for the people. The people I send for the products usually pick up how utterly cool this place and its people are on their own, so why spoil the surprise? Come for a dildo, stay for a discussion. That's Eden.

--DD
12/11/2010