A friend of mine is a comedian, and one my favorite bits of his ends with the line, "It's like a dildo in a dryer nit just thunks around and makes you ask, 'Why is that in there?'" Which got me thinking, we all have a place where our toys go, but where is the weirdest place you've ever found one of your toys "going rogue"? Either your own or someone else's.
Weirdest place you've ever found a sex toy
09/27/2011
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Not really a weird place that I've found it, but once I had a dildo that I had just washed placed up on the bathroom counter to dry. Forgot it was there and left the house. The lady that cleans for me came in to clean and found it there! She left me a note that said "Didn't want to disturb this so I cleaned around it!"
09/27/2011
For a while I couldn't find my Croupier, and one day I found it with all my bondage stuff. I was shocked, but glad I found it.
09/27/2011
The first sex toy that I ever saw in real life was in a graveyard
09/27/2011
Quote:
You can't just leave it at that!! Hahahaha! Please tell the rest of that story!
Originally posted by
Ryuson
The first sex toy that I ever saw in real life was in a graveyard
09/27/2011
Quote:
I lived in an apartment building with onsite laundry. One evening I decided to do some laundry and when I opened the lid to the washer there was a vibrator sitting at the bottom of the washing machine drum.
Originally posted by
Beaners
A friend of mine is a comedian, and one my favorite bits of his ends with the line, "It's like a dildo in a dryer nit just thunks around and makes you ask, 'Why is that in there?'" Which got me thinking, we all have a place
...
more
A friend of mine is a comedian, and one my favorite bits of his ends with the line, "It's like a dildo in a dryer nit just thunks around and makes you ask, 'Why is that in there?'" Which got me thinking, we all have a place where our toys go, but where is the weirdest place you've ever found one of your toys "going rogue"? Either your own or someone else's.
less
I never did my laundry at the apartments again.
09/27/2011
Quote:
Well from when I was 10 to when I was 16, it was always a tradition to sneak into the graveyard by her house and spook ourselves silly at her birthday parties. I think that I was 12 the year that it was there, but the front part of the cemetery was really nice and well cared for, but around the back wall it was really awful! All of the tombstones were broken and there were always beet cans all over the place. We'd seen condoms there before, but this time we were walking along and we saw something shiny on the ground. Thinking it was something cool, we gathered around but to our disgust it was an old, obviously used vibrator! We all gagged and ran away!
Originally posted by
AngelvMaynard
You can't just leave it at that!! Hahahaha! Please tell the rest of that story!
It was the creepiest thing that I ever saw there!
It was also the first time I ever saw a toy in real life; not a good first impression!
09/27/2011
Quote:
Beet cans? WTF?
Originally posted by
Ryuson
Well from when I was 10 to when I was 16, it was always a tradition to sneak into the graveyard by her house and spook ourselves silly at her birthday parties. I think that I was 12 the year that it was there, but the front part of the cemetery was
...
more
Well from when I was 10 to when I was 16, it was always a tradition to sneak into the graveyard by her house and spook ourselves silly at her birthday parties. I think that I was 12 the year that it was there, but the front part of the cemetery was really nice and well cared for, but around the back wall it was really awful! All of the tombstones were broken and there were always beet cans all over the place. We'd seen condoms there before, but this time we were walking along and we saw something shiny on the ground. Thinking it was something cool, we gathered around but to our disgust it was an old, obviously used vibrator! We all gagged and ran away!
It was the creepiest thing that I ever saw there!
It was also the first time I ever saw a toy in real life; not a good first impression! less
It was the creepiest thing that I ever saw there!
It was also the first time I ever saw a toy in real life; not a good first impression! less
09/27/2011
Quote:
Aaack! Beer cans! Sorry!
Originally posted by
Beaners
Beet cans? WTF?
09/27/2011
My grandma had a summer home that the entire family used, either all together or in shifts.
One year we showed up for our two week shift, right after my older hippy cousins had been there for a week, and we were cleaning and my cousin and I found a vibrator behind the couch! We were about 14 or so, and couldn't stop laughing, because neither one of us would pick it up. My mother came in to see what we were laughing about, and didn't know what it was! I was FOURTEEN and knew what a vibrating dildo was. My 30something mother was clueless. She went to pick it up and my cousin and I both screamed. She though we were being ridiculous. "It's just some kind of toothbrush holder, just pick it up!" We screamed again (we were 14) and I finally told her what it was. (I'd been to Spencers...) She didn't believe me. So, I got the rubber gloves we washed the dishes with, picked it up, turned it on and ran at her with it. Then she screamed for me to take it out to the garbage.
During our stay there, one of my hippy cousins showed up to bum dinner off of us. I told her, "We found a vibrator behind the couch." All she said was, "Damn, I was wondering where that thing went." She was also bummed that we had thrown it away. It was one of those ivory colored hard plastic ones that Doc Johnson or Cal Exotic used to make years ago. She was out maybe.... five bucks.
One year we showed up for our two week shift, right after my older hippy cousins had been there for a week, and we were cleaning and my cousin and I found a vibrator behind the couch! We were about 14 or so, and couldn't stop laughing, because neither one of us would pick it up. My mother came in to see what we were laughing about, and didn't know what it was! I was FOURTEEN and knew what a vibrating dildo was. My 30something mother was clueless. She went to pick it up and my cousin and I both screamed. She though we were being ridiculous. "It's just some kind of toothbrush holder, just pick it up!" We screamed again (we were 14) and I finally told her what it was. (I'd been to Spencers...) She didn't believe me. So, I got the rubber gloves we washed the dishes with, picked it up, turned it on and ran at her with it. Then she screamed for me to take it out to the garbage.
During our stay there, one of my hippy cousins showed up to bum dinner off of us. I told her, "We found a vibrator behind the couch." All she said was, "Damn, I was wondering where that thing went." She was also bummed that we had thrown it away. It was one of those ivory colored hard plastic ones that Doc Johnson or Cal Exotic used to make years ago. She was out maybe.... five bucks.
09/27/2011
Quote:
Beaners, you've never been to a Beet Party? Or played Beet Eating Games? Like you're watching the President on TV and every time he says "Folks" you have to take a bite of beet? (he says "folks" a lot)
Originally posted by
Beaners
Beet cans? WTF?
Why not?
09/27/2011
Quote:
I legitimately thought I was missing something. Like that it was a well known fact that homeless people hang out in cemeteries nomming on beets!
Originally posted by
P'Gell
Beaners, you've never been to a Beet Party? Or played Beet Eating Games? Like you're watching the President on TV and every time he says "Folks" you have to take a bite of beet? (he says "folks" a lot)
Why not?
Why not?
09/27/2011
Quote:
Originally posted by
Beaners
I legitimately thought I was missing something. Like that it was a well known fact that homeless people hang out in cemeteries nomming on beets!
I was messing with you, Beaners.
Nomming on beets. The best....it was funny.
09/27/2011
Quote:
Originally posted by
Beaners
I legitimately thought I was missing something. Like that it was a well known fact that homeless people hang out in cemeteries nomming on beets!
09/27/2011
When I was 16, I worked at a resort in the housekeeping department. It isn't that "off the wall", but once when I was cleaning a house, I flipped up the bed skirt and someone had left their circa 1950's style Hitachi! Case and all...it didn't look a thing like a "real" Hitachi, so I'd wager it was a knock-off. I did know what a "normal" vibe looked like, but this ancient thing threw me, I had no idea it was a vibe until years later!
To this day I am terrified to travel with my toys on the off chance I might forget one and go home without it!
To this day I am terrified to travel with my toys on the off chance I might forget one and go home without it!
09/27/2011
Quote:
I agree! Would love to hear that story...
Originally posted by
AngelvMaynard
You can't just leave it at that!! Hahahaha! Please tell the rest of that story!
09/27/2011
I once found a dildo taped to the swing at the park.
09/27/2011
socalsusieq
Under my moms bed. I know its normal for her to use one also, but I really don't want to see her's. Its too weird.
09/27/2011
I love these stories they're great.
09/27/2011
Quote:
Hahaha! Wonder if someone was using it out there! Uggggg!
Originally posted by
Ryuson
Well from when I was 10 to when I was 16, it was always a tradition to sneak into the graveyard by her house and spook ourselves silly at her birthday parties. I think that I was 12 the year that it was there, but the front part of the cemetery was
...
more
Well from when I was 10 to when I was 16, it was always a tradition to sneak into the graveyard by her house and spook ourselves silly at her birthday parties. I think that I was 12 the year that it was there, but the front part of the cemetery was really nice and well cared for, but around the back wall it was really awful! All of the tombstones were broken and there were always beet cans all over the place. We'd seen condoms there before, but this time we were walking along and we saw something shiny on the ground. Thinking it was something cool, we gathered around but to our disgust it was an old, obviously used vibrator! We all gagged and ran away!
It was the creepiest thing that I ever saw there!
It was also the first time I ever saw a toy in real life; not a good first impression! less
It was the creepiest thing that I ever saw there!
It was also the first time I ever saw a toy in real life; not a good first impression! less
09/27/2011
Quote:
Hahahaha! Thats a freakin awesome story! Poor mommy!
Originally posted by
P'Gell
My grandma had a summer home that the entire family used, either all together or in shifts.
One year we showed up for our two week shift, right after my older hippy cousins had been there for a week, and we were cleaning and my cousin and I ... more
One year we showed up for our two week shift, right after my older hippy cousins had been there for a week, and we were cleaning and my cousin and I ... more
My grandma had a summer home that the entire family used, either all together or in shifts.
One year we showed up for our two week shift, right after my older hippy cousins had been there for a week, and we were cleaning and my cousin and I found a vibrator behind the couch! We were about 14 or so, and couldn't stop laughing, because neither one of us would pick it up. My mother came in to see what we were laughing about, and didn't know what it was! I was FOURTEEN and knew what a vibrating dildo was. My 30something mother was clueless. She went to pick it up and my cousin and I both screamed. She though we were being ridiculous. "It's just some kind of toothbrush holder, just pick it up!" We screamed again (we were 14) and I finally told her what it was. (I'd been to Spencers...) She didn't believe me. So, I got the rubber gloves we washed the dishes with, picked it up, turned it on and ran at her with it. Then she screamed for me to take it out to the garbage.
During our stay there, one of my hippy cousins showed up to bum dinner off of us. I told her, "We found a vibrator behind the couch." All she said was, "Damn, I was wondering where that thing went." She was also bummed that we had thrown it away. It was one of those ivory colored hard plastic ones that Doc Johnson or Cal Exotic used to make years ago. She was out maybe.... five bucks. less
One year we showed up for our two week shift, right after my older hippy cousins had been there for a week, and we were cleaning and my cousin and I found a vibrator behind the couch! We were about 14 or so, and couldn't stop laughing, because neither one of us would pick it up. My mother came in to see what we were laughing about, and didn't know what it was! I was FOURTEEN and knew what a vibrating dildo was. My 30something mother was clueless. She went to pick it up and my cousin and I both screamed. She though we were being ridiculous. "It's just some kind of toothbrush holder, just pick it up!" We screamed again (we were 14) and I finally told her what it was. (I'd been to Spencers...) She didn't believe me. So, I got the rubber gloves we washed the dishes with, picked it up, turned it on and ran at her with it. Then she screamed for me to take it out to the garbage.
During our stay there, one of my hippy cousins showed up to bum dinner off of us. I told her, "We found a vibrator behind the couch." All she said was, "Damn, I was wondering where that thing went." She was also bummed that we had thrown it away. It was one of those ivory colored hard plastic ones that Doc Johnson or Cal Exotic used to make years ago. She was out maybe.... five bucks. less
09/27/2011
Quote:
Y'all are cracking me up!
Originally posted by
Beaners
I legitimately thought I was missing something. Like that it was a well known fact that homeless people hang out in cemeteries nomming on beets!
09/27/2011
Funniest. Thread. Ever.
09/27/2011
We saw a vibrator under a picnic table at the park last year, and Alan stood there staring at it for a few moments and then said "Looks like a Doc Johnson's, doesn't it?"
Normal people would laugh or wrinkle their noses or whatever, but MY partner had to stand there and try to identify it like he was bird watching or something! Sheesh!
Normal people would laugh or wrinkle their noses or whatever, but MY partner had to stand there and try to identify it like he was bird watching or something! Sheesh!
09/28/2011
My Master often sets me a task of sleeping with a dildo inserted all night. I do some weird things in my sleep that I'm unware of.
Once night I was performing my task and sometime during the night I had taken it out. In the morning I pulled the bed apart hunting for the dildo to wash it - was beyond me where the thing went ... at that stage.
The next day I opened my t-shirt draw and was reunited with my beloved....lol.
Back when I was 17, I was at a park having lunch with my dad and his new wife. My dad happened to go into the public loo there only to be greeted by a blow up doll someone had put in there as a gag.
I was bummed I wasn't a guy and couldn't go in there to have a laugh too.
Once night I was performing my task and sometime during the night I had taken it out. In the morning I pulled the bed apart hunting for the dildo to wash it - was beyond me where the thing went ... at that stage.
The next day I opened my t-shirt draw and was reunited with my beloved....lol.
Back when I was 17, I was at a park having lunch with my dad and his new wife. My dad happened to go into the public loo there only to be greeted by a blow up doll someone had put in there as a gag.
I was bummed I wasn't a guy and couldn't go in there to have a laugh too.
09/28/2011
Total posts: 25
Unique posters: 14