The New Intimacy

Thank You

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Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
To Everyone Here In the Community;

I've been debating making a post like this for a while, because I try to steer clear of sappy stuff like this. Especially because, well, I've never met most of you in real life! And still I feel like I know a lot of you. In fact, some of you have reached out to me specifically and right now in my life even a message on the internet means a lot.

Without getting really graphic I have had a really hellish past few months. Some of you may know that it's been my aspiration to go to law school, but due to family health problems, bills and a lot of other things I've had to postpone my plans to go indefinitely. Don't get me wrong; I will get there some day. It's just not going to be a soon as I had hoped.

Between unemployment, my partner of two years finally reaching his rock bottom with drug addiction and spending x-mas praying for my Pops who is doing another round of chemo...this has just not been my past few months. AT ALL. Sometimes all I have had to get away from the stress of my life is coming on this site and browsing reviews or writing one myself, or taking part in a discussion in the forums. It was the escape that I needed from all the serious things going on in the real world I was living in.

And that has meant so much to me.

I have had my ups and downs with Edenfantasys, and anyone that has been here for a while knows I've had my share of spats on these boards. But at the end of the day I really do love this place. Gary, Victoria, Carrie Ann, JR and all the other administrators are endlessly patient with us and are always looking for new ways to develop and nurture our community. So many reviewers like kck, Blinker, Sir and others have shown me a lot of kindness and have engaged me in some wonderful conversations.

Even people I've disagreed with I appreciate, because a lot of those conversations led me to re-thinking my approach to various topics.

I know to some people this post probably seems really melodramatic, but sometimes when things get really tough it's something as simple as an online community that gets you through. Fact is we're all real people on the other side of the screen all over the States and Canada and even beyond. We're all living real lives, and the things you say and do on the internet actually can have a real, lasting impact in the real world - even thousands of miles from where you are.

So thanks, everyone. Because you have had a lasting impact on me for the better.

Sincerely,
Sex & Lies (and eventually Law!)
01/18/2011
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Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
I teared up a little reading this. I don't think it's sappy or melodramatic at all. I'm sending you lots of hugs and I'm always available if you want an extra ear to vent at
01/18/2011
Contributor: liilii080 liilii080
I had no idea you were going through so much but if I may offer a positive nugget- You Are Awesome! Even with all that going on you get out of bed, go through the day, and brighten other people's lives on EF and beyond. Stay committed to your dream and we are all rooting for you. xxoo.
01/18/2011
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
I've always admired you, S&L, because of your strength.
01/18/2011
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
"Sometimes all I have had to get away from the stress of my life is coming on this site and browsing reviews or writing one myself, or taking part in a discussion in the forums. It was the escape that I needed from all the serious things going on in the real world I was living in." THIS is one of the top reasons I love Eden as well. I have gone through A LOT since joining over three years ago. Buring my nose into Eden during those times, has been wonderful even if I have had spats etc. too. Nothing is perfect and when it's all said and done, there is nothing like Eden on the net. Not that I have found anyways.

I am so glad you wrote this...for a number of reasons. I chickened out once or twice from writing similar posts. Also, I learned something about you that I have in common with you and it sounds like the more support, the better. I will definitely be reaching out to you! And third, I have set some new goals for myself here at Eden for 2011 and one of the top ones is to get to know more members on a personal level like I used to. I really appreciate when you, and anyone else opens up and shares a part of them like this.

I too have aspirations to go to Law School. While I am not set back like you are, it has not been as easy as I thought going through my masters. The work load is tremendous and that with money and everything else-stress makes everything less...shiny and dream like. It's tough furthering your education on your own! That I do totally understand. I completely admire your strength and courage. I worried about you a bit when I didn't see a review from you for awhile. I only wish that I didn't have so much of my stuff going on that I could have been there for you. BUT, I am glad to see you here again and I hope it is an escape as much as it can be for you.

-HUGS!-
01/18/2011
Contributor: Kindred Kindred
Dear Sex, Lies & Law (Because that's the way it should be!),

Admittedly, I'm pretty new to this community and do not know you very well. What I can say is that you are one of the many people in this community that I admire not only for the quality of your reviews, but also for the thoughtfulness of your comments, the strength you have shown, and the helpfulness you have offered to others. I noticed when you first dropped "Law" from your name and wondered, but I never fully appreciated why. I'm glad you felt comfortable to make your post because it's not sappy at all. Isn't the EF community a wonderful place? It is the most supportive, caring, accepting, helpful, and nurturing community I have ever come across. I'm sure I could come up with a million other words to describe it. Suffice it to say, this is someplace special. I truly hope that 2011 is much better for you and that each day finds you a silver lining that makes it special. Sending all of my good thoughts your way.

P.S.- Thanks for the post, I love a good cry
01/18/2011
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
Seriously you guys. I am bugging out because I don't know how to respond to your comments. They are so thoughtful. Gah! Thank you so, so, so much. Really.

@ Julia, liilii080, and Chilipepper, thank you so much for your kind words. They mean a lot to me.

@ Lauren, I seriously can't fathom how you find the time to do your Masters on top of all of what you do on Edenfantasys. Lol, if I had your focus and energy I would be very lucky! And yes, money is a big issue here! I know I will get to law school some day...I just wish it were sooner. I'm impatient. Thank you for everything you said and all the kindness you've shown me.

@ Kindred, yes this community seriously is awesome. I'm so glad I made this post because it seems like I'm not the only one that feels this gratitude toward it. It's a nice chance for us to gush a little about the community before returning to business as usual!
01/18/2011
Contributor: DeliciousSurprise DeliciousSurprise
I don't know you very well, S,L&L, but I do admire you from afar. I'm sorry you're having such a rough year, and I hope that as the year passes it gets easier for you to handle.

Putting your law career on hold is, by no means, quitting. Besides, I've always heard that Universities prefer students who've taken time off before continuing with their education.


If you need an ear to talk to (even if just bitching about how hard it is to get funding for your education, or talking about how awesome/awful that episode of whatever you watched last night was) please don't hesitate to send me a message.
01/18/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Owl Identified
To Everyone Here In the Community;

I've been debating making a post like this for a while, because I try to steer clear of sappy stuff like this. Especially because, well, I've never met most of you in real life! And still I feel like ... more
Hugs!

We love you S&L. Things sometimes suck. My prayers and hopes are that they will get better very quickly for you.

MORE HUGS!
01/18/2011
Contributor: ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
If I say to much I will break down and cry with some of the others , so Ill just say this:

I love you, we love you and I always enjoy your reviews and posts. You are a big part of this awesome community and I thank you for being here.

I also am going through a hard time in life and this community makes life sooo much easier to deal with. SO much love is freely given without want for acknowledgement.(inlov e)

Big hugs and much love to you.
01/18/2011
Contributor: gone77 gone77
Don't feel bad for bringing this here; we are more a family than a community even if we all don't know each other that well. As you say, disagreements happen and are a part of every community. To put it bluntly: shit happens. But it's not the be all and end all for the community.

I'm sorry to hear that things have been so rocky for you of late, but I hope that things improve. And I hope that your Pops will eventually be given the all-clear.

You pretty much summed up what this community means to everyone, including the staff.

I'm glad you felt you could write this here. The community is here for you through thick and thin--don't ever forget that!!

01/18/2011
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
I figured you were having issues when "& Law" got dropped from your screen name.

We've had our disagreements, but that's ok. I hope things get better for you in 2011!

If you feel overwhelmed, take a breath and say "This too shall pass".

Thanks for sharing!
01/18/2011
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by Owl Identified
Seriously you guys. I am bugging out because I don't know how to respond to your comments. They are so thoughtful. Gah! Thank you so, so, so much. Really.

@ Julia, liilii080, and Chilipepper, thank you so much for your kind words. They ... more
I put a lot of drive and time into my passions. I am happiest when I am busy . You are more than welcome!
01/18/2011
Contributor: Jobthingy Jobthingy
I noticed the Law drop. But I don't know you well enough to say "HEY! You ok? Need a canuck virtual shoulder to lean on?"

I think you are an amazing person and as JR said, this too shall pass. Life is full of bumps and never quite goes the way we want it to. How boring would that be? Something has to keep you on your toes.

You will come through this all a better, shining person than you already are. You will see. Just worry about today. Tomorrow is another day. *HUGE hugs*
01/18/2011
Contributor: Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
Sex, Lies & Law:
I second all the posts of those before me. You are in integral part of this community. It is strange how we get to know people on Eden sometimes better than we know our friends in our daily one on one life, even though we may not ever speak directly, but just by reading their thoughts on discussions. I think that is simply because here we are all able to be REAL and discuss anything without being judged. At least I hope I am not the only one who feels this way.

I am sort of new to this community, but I have come to cherish and respect those people who care enough to take time out of their busy schedules to help reassure those with insecurities, those people who are there to offer advice to those in need in the middle of the night, so they do not feel completely alone, and those people who continually make us laugh at ourselves and remember all the stupid things we have done.

Anyhow, I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I am not a terribly religious person, but one phrase my grandma used to always tell me seems to help get me through rough patches. I will pass it along to you. If God has brought you to it, He will bring you through it.

I really think "Law" should be put back on your name again! Sometimes doors of opportunity open just because our intention is put out into the world.

Please take care of yourself. If you don't take care of you, you can't take care of anyone else.
01/18/2011
Contributor: Victoria Victoria
Oooh, sweetie - this isn't melodramatic at all! It's REAL. I am glad you let us all know what is going on with you, because YOU MATTER TO US! You belong here! And you will get through these tough times, I promise you that. I hope you realize how much we care about you, how much your intelligent and passionate discussions have impacted so many people, how your kindness has touched many hearts, and how much your vulnerability in this thread makes us all feel a little less alone and a lot closer to you. MUCH MUCH LOVE TO YOU
01/18/2011
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
I am having trouble processing all of these kind words. I wrote this just as a way to say thank you and I am met with all of these prayers and beautiful thoughts...thank you all so much.

Victoria and Redboxbaby, I don't have the right words right now but your comments together made me cry. Thank you so much. That honestly means so much. I am going to sleep tonight feeling very, very grateful.
01/18/2011
Contributor: That Guy That Guy
I'm pretty new here, but I can say I'm right there with you. There's nothing melodramatic about it. So thanks for the post, and I hope things go better for you in the coming year.

If it's any consolation, I speak from a place of experience when I say that, while it might not seem like it now, delaying law school may be a blessing in disguise. I went through a very similar thing a few years ago. Hopefully you'll get around to it when the economy gets better and jobs in law are easier to come by. After all, it's no mistake that I've got time to write reviews these days!

Anyway, like I said, I'm new here, but for what it's worth I wish you the best.
01/18/2011
Contributor: Sammi Sammi
I'm so sorry to hear about the troubles you've had hugs
I hope things take a turn for the better, and know that you do matter to us !
01/18/2011
Contributor: Naughty Student Naughty Student
Good luck S&L with your plans.

I can understand a bit (bcs I have never had your experiences) how hard it is but I am amazed at your resiliency. You are a strong person and I loved that you were able to share a bit more of yourself in the ocmmunity.

Big HUGS, know that you are loved and thought of by many of us.
01/18/2011
Contributor: Darling Jen Darling Jen
Oh hun, I'm so sorry that when I noticed the "Law" drop from your name I didn't contact you. I figured it was a change in interest rather than an accumulation of bad events. I can so relate to everything and even wrote my own one of these letters to the community back when I was only here two months and all the good I thought I had in my life walked out on me and kicked me out of my home.

It's not silly or melodramatic at all. It's our true feelings, real lives, and we're actual people sitting at these computers. We may not have seen each other's faces, heard our voices, or shared a meal but we're all friends here. More than that, we're a community, a family. We spend time talking together, having virtual parties, dedicate endless hours to helping each other and writing reviews for the hope that our favorite people will read them. Just because we have to type it all doesn't make our feelings less legitimate or worth while.

We all LOVE you. You're one of us! We'll make sure you never give up hope or your dreams and keep you knee-deep in virtual hugs (and sex toys). Whenever you need someone to chat with, I'm here.
01/19/2011
Contributor: KnK KnK
Quote:
Originally posted by Owl Identified
To Everyone Here In the Community;

I've been debating making a post like this for a while, because I try to steer clear of sappy stuff like this. Especially because, well, I've never met most of you in real life! And still I feel like ... more
See, this is just one of the reasons I stuck around in the community. People here actually give a shit about each other and it's beyond heartwarming.

I too have had ups and downs recently, dealing with a major depressive episode, friend problems, roommate problems, friends with drug addictions and the like and although I haven't reached out for support on the forums, I am touched that people on here have reached out to others. What the community did for Illusional almost brought tears to my eyes, and I hate tears and crying.

Even though I don't recall interacting with you much on the site, I wish you many happinesses and success.
01/19/2011
Contributor: Alan & Michele Alan & Michele
You're getting a hug right now girl! {{{HUGGGG}}}
01/19/2011
Contributor: Alys Alys
Hi, I know that I'm new here and that we haven't interacted much (at all?) here, but this right here is the reason that I love Eden and have spent maybe a little too much time here these last couple of weeks. This is a wonderful community and I more than hope that everything straightens up for you. I'll pray for your father's recovery and I'm sending you a virtual hug from a virtual stranger (aka me).
01/19/2011
Contributor: Tuesday Tuesday
I'm so thick. You changed from S, L and prelaw to S,L and Law and I assumed that meant you were in law school. When 'and Law' dropped, I assumed that you graduated or just wanted a shorter name. You're obviously very smart, so I have no doubt that you'll finish law school some day.

I hope things turn around for you. Your reviews are always OUTSTANDING.
01/19/2011
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
Thanks to everyone for all of your support! I'm actually really surprised at how much everyone is supportive of my aspirations for higher education. I guess I never expect people to realize how much it means to me to eventually have that opportunity, and it's so nice to see that so many do.

@That Guy, I've actually considered what you're saying and have heard from many recent law school grads that it's tough finding work in all but a few areas (for example, divorce law seems to be booming in the recession but then again we have seen correlation between financial instability and divorce in the past...) Thank you for offering the silver lining, I definitely do appreciate it.

@ Sammi, Naughty Student, Alan & Michele, Alys and Darling Jen, thank you all so much for your kind words. And yes, being knee-deep in sex toys never hurts lol! I swear testing products (and focusing on writing the reviews afterward) is a pretty awesome distraction and I consider myself lucky to have it!

@ Twisted Finger, I'm sorry about what you've been going through. Drug addiction is seriously one of the hardest things to watch someone you love struggle with, it makes you feel really powerless. I also understand what depression is like to struggle with - I think many of us here do. You're in my prayers. Also, I'm not sure what happened to Illusional, I think I missed something? Unfortunately because of how many posts there are due to increased traffic on the site, I miss a lot more posts these days.

@ Tuesday, I actually did initially drop the Pre-law part because I was going to be attending law school and then...shitty thing after shitty thing started to happen. So it's just kind of...been left off. So don't think you're thick lol you're actually right sort of! And thank you for your kind words.
01/19/2011
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
Okay I actually just searched the forums and I see now what Twisted Finger was talking about in regards to Illusional. I wish I had known about it, I have a pretty substantial amount of points piling up. I'm glad to read that 1) she is better now and 2) she is looking mighty beautiful in that corset!!!

This is exactly the kind of stuff that Edenfantasys community members do all the time for each other - and people don't pat themselves on the back for it either. They just do it because they care. And it's awesome.
01/19/2011
Contributor: buzz buzz
*hugs*
01/20/2011
Contributor: Selective Sensualist Selective Sensualist
Oh, hon, I wish I'd seen this post earlier. A lot has gone on in the forum that I seem to have missed.

I think you absolutely SHOULD put "& Law" back in your screen name! Putting your dream on hold is not giving up, my dear. You are dealing with life in a responsible way in the best way that you see fit (a very honorable way, I might add). What you are going through right now, as painful as it is, is shaping you into an even stronger, even MORE compassionate person - and you already are a strong, compassionate person.

I know what it is like to have to put dreams on hold. I am the only person in my entire extended family who has been able to pursue a college education, let alone a professional degree. Due to financial struggles my entire life, it took me many, many years to finally earn my bachelor's degree. When I finally was able to attend, I devoured my education like a starving animal devours whatever scraps it can find. And now I've had to postpone my dreams for medical school due to more financial problems and some serious health issues in my immediate family.

I continually remind myself that these are things that we all go through, so your sharing has helped me to refocus and not get so down. I want to offer you a word of encouragement: you can achieve your dream. You will achieve your dream.

I think it is the difficult things in life that draws us all together. At the end of the day, no matter what economic background, race, sex, nationality, or gender that you are, we all still have a commonality with every other person on this planet: we are all vulnerable to illness (both in ourselves and in our families). And we all are vulnerable to difficult, hurtful times in our lives.

Please don't ever feel like you have to go through a difficult time alone. I think we all need to reach out to others when we are hurting. We sometimes think we are being too needy, but, by allowing others to reach out to us, we are actually offering them a chance to heal themselves by offering comfort. That's a powerful thing.

Please feel free to message me anytime you need a shoulder to cry on or a word of encouragement. Keep your chin up, sweetheart.
01/20/2011
Contributor: Selective Sensualist Selective Sensualist
Oh, I completely forgot to add that I always look forward to reading your reviews when I notice a new one posted, and I also really enjoy your comments in the forum. Your reviews simply sparkle - I just love your beautiful descriptions. And I always appreciate your very thoughtful, well-reasoned posts.
01/20/2011