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RIP--16 Years of Marriage!!!

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Contributor: js250 js250
My soon to be ex has thrown me, my daughter, her husband and my 1 1/2 year old granddaughter out of the house at 3am. Why? He was drunk and got pissed at me when I was watching tv instead of sleeping. My daughter's family and her were asleep and had been since midnight. So, as of tonight, I have made the decision that enough is enough--I am getting a divorce.

This is not a hasty decision, he has made life very difficult for the last few months. I just needed to vent before I get all emotional and start thinking about the good times we used to have....thanks for being here for me!!!
01/01/2013
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Contributor: KyotoAngel KyotoAngel
...sounds like the kind of man my mother usually dates, they're nice for a while and all of a sudden it's like someone flipped a switch in their brain and they turn into total assholes. =(

Have you guys tried that couples counciling thing and has he been to a psychiatrist/therapist lately?

It seems a bit of a shame to end such a long and previously happy relationship, but then again what kind of man kicks his own infant granddaughter, her parents, and his own wife out of the house over something as trivial as a television?

Unless the man had a long day ahead of him (or happens to have an undiagnosed mental illness like bi-polar disorder) and you watching tv was keeping him awake, there's really not many reasons I can see as justifing his actions. He should have just asked you to shut it off if it was bothering him.
01/01/2013
Contributor: js250 js250
Quote:
Originally posted by KyotoAngel
...sounds like the kind of man my mother usually dates, they're nice for a while and all of a sudden it's like someone flipped a switch in their brain and they turn into total assholes. =(

Have you guys tried that couples counciling ... more
He used to beat up on me, is emotionally abusive and many other things--I wrote about them in the Sexis magazine. We have done the counseling to death and this is what it ended up as--so the past is now history.

I was in the living room--three rooms away from the bedroom with the volume down super low, no way he could hear it and all he has to do on New Years Day is be lazy. He is not working right now--on hiatus until mid-January.
01/01/2013
Contributor: KyotoAngel KyotoAngel
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
He used to beat up on me, is emotionally abusive and many other things--I wrote about them in the Sexis magazine. We have done the counseling to death and this is what it ended up as--so the past is now history.

I was in the living room--three ... more
...he's damn lucky you're not my mother then.

If that's the case, you're all going to be better off without him. And once your ready to move on, it shouldn't be much trouble finding a man that'll treat you properly.


Hopefully it isn't a messy divorce.
01/01/2013
Contributor: js250 js250
Quote:
Originally posted by KyotoAngel
...he's damn lucky you're not my mother then.

If that's the case, you're all going to be better off without him. And once your ready to move on, it shouldn't be much trouble finding a man that'll treat you properly. ... more
Thanks! It will be--I own all the bikes and another retail business. I know he is going to try to get the bikes, but hopefully I have a great lawyer!! My son in law wants to rip him apart--but the best thing to do is to move on and be happy. Let him go to hell on his own. Don't really know if I want to do another relationship...I am 42 and will be happy just being on my own. Two out of two failures are bad, bad odds!!! Do NOT want to go for three at this point!!!Besides, I am too bitter and distrustful to give a man an honest chance right now. I need to heal me up. Thanks for answering--it helps to talk!!
01/01/2013
Contributor: - Kira - - Kira -
Aww I'm sorry. I can't believe he kicked you out in the middle of the night. What an ass!

Good luck with everything. Get a great lawyer and hopefully he won't drag out the process too much.
01/01/2013
Contributor: unfulfilled unfulfilled
I'm so sorry you are going through this. I wish you the best and hope the process goes smoothly for you.
01/01/2013
Contributor: AimDriver AimDriver
Sorry you are going through this and hope for the best.
01/01/2013
Contributor: PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
Wow, I know I've read your articles, but maybe I just has assumed that you were talking about a previous relationship. I thought things were okay with you and your husband!

I can imagine after 16 years it's hard to move on with your life. But you're smart for doing so if this is what has been happening for so long despite having beaten counseling to death.

I'm so sorry that you're going through this! I was married for four years, nothing compared to what you're going through, but if you ever need to talk, I'm always around to listen! You're doing the right thing...focus on you and go from there!

(((((HUGS))))
01/01/2013
Contributor: Breas Breas
Quote:
Originally posted by PropertyOfPotter
Wow, I know I've read your articles, but maybe I just has assumed that you were talking about a previous relationship. I thought things were okay with you and your husband!

I can imagine after 16 years it's hard to move on with your ... more
This is what I had thought too. I had no idea it was your current relationship...

Maybe he needs to get to AA? Even if you two do go your seperate ways, you should maybe suggest that to him. It could help.

I'm really sorry that you've had to deal with all of this! You seem fantastic dear and deserve better. Make 2013 YOUR year! Do what is best for you!
01/01/2013
Contributor: Taylor Taylor
I'm so sorry this happened to you But it's good that you seem to be taking some good steps to get things sorted out. Definitely do what is best for you.
01/01/2013
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
I'm sorry to hear that he kicked you out like that! People sure can do some crazy stuff when they're drinking. I really wish you all the best moving forward, it's nice to know that at least now you'll be safe! That's got to count for something.

I remember reading a lot of your older posts when my man and I were in a rough patch, and I know you've bent over backwards and decided not to leave at other times in the past, and you've tried to work it out. Bottom line is that you deserve to be safe and happy. I hope now you will be!

If you ever feel like you need some additional support, I found a really great non-12 step recovery group called SMART Recovery. They have a lot of resources for Family & Friends of those with addiction too. Their website is smartrecovery.org
01/01/2013
Contributor: Beck Beck
Oh wow! I'm sorry that you are going through this right now. I wish you all the best. It sounds like leaving is the right idea. I know it has to be hard,but as you said. Enough is enough.
01/01/2013
Contributor: Rod Ronald Rod Ronald
he sounds like a grade A asshole! Jesus! I hope to god your able to stay away and find solid ground again. You do not need that shit in your life.
01/01/2013
Contributor: Bleu Bleu
Shitty way to start a new year but maybe it's for the best. :/ I'm sorry to hear about all this, though! No one deserves to be kicked out for just watching TV! He needs a lot of help and I hope he proves to you that he has gotten that help before you decide to go back to him -- if you decide to go back to him.
01/01/2013
Contributor: js250 js250
Thank you for the support!! It is truly needed and appreciated, this is such a hard and scary decision, but one that needed to be made! Hugs to you guys for being there for me and helping me to be strong!!!
01/01/2013
Contributor: KinkyNicki92 KinkyNicki92
Good luck with everything. You're an awesome person with a heart worth its weight in gold. you can do better my love. im here for you as well.
01/01/2013
Contributor: ViVix ViVix
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
My soon to be ex has thrown me, my daughter, her husband and my 1 1/2 year old granddaughter out of the house at 3am. Why? He was drunk and got pissed at me when I was watching tv instead of sleeping. My daughter's family and her were asleep and ... more
I know you're capable of doing what is best for you and your family. Good luck, js250!
01/01/2013
Contributor: Ayumi Ayumi
I'm sorry that you are dealing with this. I can't imagine how difficult it has been to even make the decision, but through it you show great strength. Many blessings to you for strength through the trial that this will be.
I know that you don't know me too well, but you are supported and if you ever need anything or just to vent please message!

And I agree with the sentiments of others. You deserve way more than that.
01/01/2013
Contributor: Gracie Gracie
My heart is hurting for you that you are having to go through this now! My pm box is always open!
01/01/2013
Contributor: TheirPet TheirPet
Ugh talk about red-flags! Here's some more support and hugs and hoping you'll get through this with as few bumps in the road as possible.
01/01/2013
Contributor: married with children married with children
sorry to hear things are not working out. keeping you and your family in my thoughts.
01/01/2013
Contributor: SneakersAndPearls SneakersAndPearls
I am so very sorry you are going through this. *hugs*
01/01/2013
Contributor: Ryuson Ryuson
(Review Program Mentor)
Wow, that's awful! It really sounds like you've tried everything you can with this guy. I really hope he doesn't take anything that's not his in the divorce, it sounds like you have a pretty solid case. Good luck!
01/01/2013
Contributor: Kissy Kissy
Oh no! I have been a HUGE fan of you for a long time on here, I hate to see you go through such hardship! You are well loved around here. You can always count on us! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
01/01/2013
Contributor: mpfm mpfm
I am so sorry, honey. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
01/01/2013
Contributor: Trysexual Trysexual
Sorry to hear that. Sounds like a control freak maybe. Things will get better. It's always darkest before the dawn.
01/01/2013
Contributor: deltalima deltalima
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
My soon to be ex has thrown me, my daughter, her husband and my 1 1/2 year old granddaughter out of the house at 3am. Why? He was drunk and got pissed at me when I was watching tv instead of sleeping. My daughter's family and her were asleep and ... more
Sorry to hear that you and your family are going through this, especially at this time in the season. I remember you said you wanted to work on your relationship for the year. Hope you guys will be safe wherever you are. Please take care
01/01/2013
Contributor: EmuLove EmuLove
Best wishes! You will feel like you had a 800 pound tumor removed after a few days so things will get better.
01/01/2013
Contributor: bayosgirl bayosgirl
Sorry to hear this. Do you have a place to stay? Family nearby? Good luck with the divorce proceedings..
01/01/2013