The New Intimacy

Reviewing...who all knows and do you get people gifts from EF?

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Contributor: J's Alley J's Alley
I know there are posts on this, but I am being a bit specific here. Is there anyone in your family who knows you review that you never wanted to find out? Mine would be my Dad...really he has a big mouth and told EVERYONE!

He stumbled across EF on my computer (because I don't delete cookies since my kids have their own computer) and asked about all my "porn." I was quick to let him know I hate porn and he must be mistaken. He pulled up EF (I pointed out it wasn't porn, it was a toy store). This was last year while I was sick in the hospital.

He was taking care of my girls and decided to clean my house and he found my stash (not that it's well hidden...only the BDSM stuff is locked up). He texted a picture to my aunt because he was shocked. Her reaction? She said "well no shit...[her husband] is deployed all the time. What would you suggest she do?" I was shocked! She then called me and asked for my advice on a new vibe. Ummm...wow.

When he told my mom about the toys she already knew. She told him I reviewed them. I guess he was upset because no one ever told him.

That being said, this year I decided my sisters were getting EF gifts. One loves lingerie, so I got her a cute piece she can sleep in and some bath stuff. The other sister just got the bath collection (because I already have a gift for her). I am trying to convince them to get that stuff here because it's all in one spot. I year ago I was a bit concerned about who knew what I was doing...now? Not so much. Well, except for J's work...they can't know.
12/20/2010
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Contributor: Tuesday Tuesday
In my family, only my sister knows. I tell her everything. she's better at keeping secrets than anyone else on this planet. Plus the hubs knows. Can't hide all those boxes from him.

I've already decided that while I'm going to continue to try to hide it from him, if my college age son does stumble across something and asks about it, I'm going to tell him that I review toys. He'll learn something about his mother. We have a good relationship. He tells me quite a bit about his sex life.
12/20/2010
Contributor: Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
My mom is really my only immediate family - she knows and I got her a Wahl (for actual massage purposes, but should she decide to take it to another level, so be it!). My cousin also knows and I got her a Siena Rondo. No one really knows that I didn't want to know - my boss actually knows because he's also my best friend's boyfriend - but it doesn't bother me and I knew he'd find out.
12/20/2010
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Your dad went on your computer, found your links and e mailed the things he found to HIS SISTER?

Somebody needs to have a talk about boundaries with their father, Alley.

What he did was not acceptable in any form. So what if he was watching your kids? It doesn't give him the right to get into your personal business. And the emailing people your private things? What is his problem?

I'd read him the riot act and let him know there will be NO MORE babysitting of the children. He's not doing you favors, he's spying and breaking boundaries. People can't take advantage of you that way. Did he go through your bills and your closets, too? This is just.........wrong. You are an ADULT and he needs to be told this in NO uncertain terms.

You need a password on your computer to start and then a Sit Down with dear old Daddy.

I'm hella older than you and my parents know nothing of my toy reviews, our toys and my sex life. They are older (in their 70s) and not sexually "liberated" you could say. Also, it's none of their business. My sex life is my sex life. I don't ask about theirs. They are divorced and my dad is married to a younger woman and my mom's second husband died a few years ago. But, it still isn't their business. Some things are best left unsaid and not spoken about. Boundries are what makes good, healthy families, imo. I'm sorry this happened to you. But, you need to lay down the Law with him.

I think my middle daughter has a pretty good idea what I do here. She's seen the screen open, and knows by default her father and I have a very active sex life, but she is discreet!
12/20/2010
Contributor: Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
I agree with P'Gell, there is no excuse for his behavior. So what if he was upset? He could talk to you about it without alerting your entire family. He should have more respect for you than that.

My mom knows what I am up to to some degree, I am friends with her best friend and I KNOW how big that womans mouth is.I have talked to my mom about numerous forum posts and discussions I thought she would be interested in. I also told her not to be surprised if she gets a vibrator as a gift one of these days and that I was hoping to win the 24k vibe in a recent contest. I haven't informed my brothers about what I do, mostly because I think they might find that conversation really awkward. They still seem to be pretty freaked out by acknowledging that family members have sex. However if it came up I would just tell them flat out. If they go into a coma from embarrassment too bad for them.
12/20/2010
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Only my wife - I can't see that it's anyone's business. The fun part has been that she's starting to help me write the reviews.
12/20/2010
Contributor: firekitten firekitten
The only people who know are online friends who got me started, one girl friend, and the couple of close guy friends/partners. NO FAMILY. They don't need to know, and I would have flipped if one of my parents went through my personal things.
12/20/2010
Contributor: cherryredhead88 cherryredhead88
My mother knows by now. I was keeping it a secret for a while, but I told her about it when I told her about the adopt a family thing. My mom and I are very open with each other about almost everything, but sex isn't one of them. It was a little awkward, because she was raised with the whole "sex is a bad, shameful thing" deal and believes that it is something very private.

I, on the other hand, am very liberal especially when it comes to my sex life, and I have not really been able to keep Eden a secret for the most part. I do have a separate facebook account due to the fact that I have little sisters and cousins, etc who are young still on my original facebook, and I do not want them seeing this stuff.

As far as friends go, I tell EVERYONE I think would be interested and I try like hell to recruit them here. I guess I', crazy though, because I seem to be the only one out of my friends who wants to do it!
12/20/2010
Contributor: Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
Quote:
Originally posted by cherryredhead88
My mother knows by now. I was keeping it a secret for a while, but I told her about it when I told her about the adopt a family thing. My mom and I are very open with each other about almost everything, but sex isn't one of them. It was a little ... more
Me too, My friends get all excited and then get to the review and are like... ummm I'm not sure I want to do this anymore. Lazy buggers. I could do this all day! Oh wait...... I kinda do.
12/20/2010
Contributor: PassionQT PassionQT
My husband, my mom, and a few friends know. I only get gifts for hubby and his friend from here.
12/20/2010
Contributor: Alicia Alicia
My close friends know and my husband. That's it. No one in either mine or my husband's family family knows, although my daughter does know I review things, she just thinks it's only body lotions and bubble bath, because she know about my Intimate Organics things.

If my parents or other family members were to snoop around here they would likely find stuff...especially if tehy snoop in my bedroom! It's not hard to find things in there, we keep them out of sight but they're not exactly well hidden. If they found anything downstairs though it'd only be my locked box, which they might be suspicious of but couldn't check out what's inside. I don't feel comfortable sharing any part of my sexual life with family, it's just not my style and we don't have that type of relationship.
12/20/2010
Contributor: JEM JEM
My sister and her husband know....he actually goes onto my profile and reads my reviews! I hope they help them! A few very close cousins also know...that's about it in regards to family knowing. Many close co-workers/friends know about it as well. Which results in many calls and questions!
12/20/2010
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Most of my friends know that their gifts are coming from here, and most of them know I review too. I know my mom will figure out where her gifts came from real fast, but I also know she'll like them too, lol
12/20/2010
Contributor: TitsMcScandal TitsMcScandal
Pretty much all my friends know. At two of my old jobs everyone knew, but at this one only one does (for now). Out of my family, my mom knows although I wouldn't have a problem telling any of them. And classmates know considering I did a speech about the safety of sex toys including visual aids (my professor was surprised at the pure wand lol)
12/20/2010
Contributor: Liz Liz
My friends all know. Even before I started reviewing toys, I was the one with the most/varied sexual experience in our group, so they were pretty used to hearing me talk about all things sexual and no one was surprised to hear I was reviewing toys. Most of them have gotten gifts from EF at one time or another. My immediate family knows, as does my husband, and my sister has gotten a toy or two.
12/20/2010
Contributor: gone77 gone77
My family and my friends know. I have nothing to hide. And, yes, I've bought people gifts from EF.
12/20/2010
Contributor: Jobthingy Jobthingy
Totally echoing what P'Gell said. That is so wrong.

friends know, mom has an idea (she doesnt really get it) and all my best girl friends got EF buzzing gifts
12/20/2010
Contributor: Beaners Beaners
The friend who introduced me to reviewing knows, obviously. We have one other friend who knows. When I started reviewing I told my boyfriend, who was more enthusiastic than I was, and then he went and told a good number of his friends. *eyeroll* Bragger.
12/20/2010
Contributor: Jessica Elizabeth Jessica Elizabeth
Yep, I've gotten almost everybody gifts from EF this year. Those who are in a position where I'm not comfortable giving actual sex toys got a JimmyJane massage candle ^^

As for who knows..my mom has a vague idea, but other than that just my friends Maybe a couple cousins...but mostly just friends.

And yea... dad crossed a lot of boundaries..big time.
12/20/2010
Contributor: Rockin' Rockin'
Right now, my boy and a few of my friends know that I review here, but soon I think a lot more people will know. I'd like to be more open about how I spend my free time, not with specifics, but just with a general statement.

I've gotten one friend of mine (besides my boy) some gifts from here and she really liked them
12/20/2010
Contributor: loveshocks loveshocks
Your dad crossed some huge boundaries. I mean, really? He "stumbled" across EF? He should have just called a spade a spade and said that he was snooping on your computer. That and I don't get why he would go and take a photo of your sex toys and share them with family. It just doesn't seem like something that anyone should do. Ever.

My boyfriend knows that I buy sex toys (hahaha), he likes it I've just started to do a few reviews here and there, he really likes it when I get something new in the mail. My sisters know I get 'those things' in the mail, but that's the extent of it. My parents (as I live at home, still in school) just think I quite a bit of online shopping - which I do.

And the only person I've gotten a gift for from EF is one of my best friends, I got my friend her first vibrator
12/20/2010
Contributor: Waterfall Waterfall
A few of my close friends know, but no one in my family does. I don't really have people in my family who know a great deal about my sex life.
At this time I have not bought anyone a gift off of Eden, however there are a few massage and body type products that I can see making great gifts
12/21/2010
Contributor: Shellz31 Shellz31
Ohhhh no! I wouldn't want my father knowing. Fortunately for me that will never be a problem!

Both my mum and bro know. I even got them their first toy each. They are almost as excited as I am to see the toys when I'm openning the packages....lol.

I like being open and not having to hide about it cause mum is nosy and has asked in the past what I received from sites over here. I never told.
Now I just don't care. Pretty much everyone has their private fun.
12/21/2010
Contributor: darthkitt3n darthkitt3n
I have told a couple of friends and my boyfriend about it, though I don't think I want to tell my family yet. I know my family would probably tell everyone, which I really don't want.
12/21/2010
Contributor: Jimbo Jones Jimbo Jones
My partner knows (obviously) and her sisters know and a few of our friends, and recently my sister was let in on the secret, but nobody else on my side of the family and it will probably stay that way for the foreseeable future.
12/21/2010
Contributor: Kayla Kayla
Nobody in my family knows, and I'm totally okay with that. A couple of friends know about this, and my sister and parents know I'm into BDSM, but none of them know about the toy reviewing (thank god). I never have plans to tell them. It's one thing to write knowing that strangers/internet friends will be reading something; it's completely another to know that your mother would be reading about your orgasms. It would affect my ability to review honestly.
12/21/2010
Contributor: Rockin' Rockin'
Quote:
Originally posted by Kayla
Nobody in my family knows, and I'm totally okay with that. A couple of friends know about this, and my sister and parents know I'm into BDSM, but none of them know about the toy reviewing (thank god). I never have plans to tell them. It's ... more
Your post brings up something I've thought/worried about. I'd like to be able to tell more people (perhaps in my family) that I review toys, but I worry about them finding explicit writing/pictures. I'm coming to terms with the idea that I'm ok with what I write and if someone else finds something they don't like, then it's on them, not me. I'm not sending my relatives a link to my review or blog. If they find stuff, it's because they go looking.
12/21/2010
Contributor: Darling Jen Darling Jen
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Your dad went on your computer, found your links and e mailed the things he found to HIS SISTER?

Somebody needs to have a talk about boundaries with their father, Alley.

What he did was not acceptable in any form. So what if he was ... more
I second this. My dad has had hints about what I do (only because he's so damn curious about all my packages) but once he heard me and my mother say he really doesn't want to know, he believed us and stopped poking around. But to actively snoop around in your things and then share it with the rest of the world?! Wow. Does he open your mail too? Geez, dude. Mind ya own business and keep your sticky fingers off other people's property.

But anywho, obviously my mother knows about what I do. She's totally not interested in it and doesn't really want to be told much but I needed someone to talk to (and so that she knew what all those packages were and to help me hide them from my dad who would pass out and maybe piss his pants if he knew what his daughter owned hehe).

I'm in no way ashamed of what I do and I think being so secretive and 'guilty' breeds shame, which goes against sex positivity and gender equality. But on the same token, this world we live in is very judgmental so I just am careful with whom I share how much with. I do make sure to give positive feedback to anyone that brings up sex in conversation or if they ask my opinion on something or perhaps someone I trust (or have no threat of being outed by) I'll even tell them to check out this site. So I don't actively hide anything because I feel it's nothing I need to hide, but I definitely don't share it with the world willy-nilly.
12/23/2010
Contributor: Illusional Illusional
Most everyone in my family knows, including my grandparents, my mom, my dad, my older sister, my cousins, my boyfriend, his friends, and my friends.
12/23/2010
Contributor: Anne Ardeur Anne Ardeur
My husband knows, and one friend. I've never bought a present from EF, though I might consider giving someone some of the bath/massage products or if I knew one of my girlfriends really wanted a particular toy.
12/24/2010