The New Intimacy

Ladies: if you're married, did you change your name when you got married; or, if you're not married, would you change your name when/if you get married?

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Contributor: spiced spiced
I have friends who kept their names when they got married, and other friends who took their husbands name. Even after thinking about it for years, I have no idea what I might have done if I'd had the choice.

How about you? What did, or would, you do?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
I'm married and I took my husband's last name.
6  (21%)
I'm married and I kept my own last name.
4  (14%)
If/when I get married, I'll take my husband's last name.
6  (21%)
If/when I get married, I'll keep my own name.
2  (7%)
Other?
11  (38%)
Total votes: 29
Poll is closed
04/17/2013
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Contributor: Sammi Sammi
I took my husband's last name.
04/17/2013
Contributor: TJtheMadHatter TJtheMadHatter
I didn't take my husband's last name for a year after we were married. Even then, I moved my maiden name to my middle name (dropped the original). I write out my full name for everything and sign it it with maiden/middle name. I love my maiden name, and I'll never let it go. lol
04/17/2013
Contributor: Mwar Mwar
I'll be keeping my name, but will use his socially.
04/17/2013
Contributor: cricket cricket
She better take my name
04/18/2013
Contributor: bayosgirl bayosgirl
Quote:
Originally posted by TJtheMadHatter
I didn't take my husband's last name for a year after we were married. Even then, I moved my maiden name to my middle name (dropped the original). I write out my full name for everything and sign it it with maiden/middle name. I love my ... more
That's a good idea. I kept my maiden name out of family pride and all that jazz. But I hate my middle name, so maybe I will steal your idea. lol
04/18/2013
Contributor: Rossie Rossie
I kept my maiden name to save me the trouble changing all my legal documents.
04/18/2013
Contributor: SourAppleMartini SourAppleMartini
If I ever get married I definitely would. I hate my surname so much, I would not pass on an opportunity to change it.
04/18/2013
Contributor: bratcat bratcat
When and if i decide to get married i'd like to just have a hyphenated last name that combines the two, like some of my family has done.
04/18/2013
Contributor: twelve13 twelve13
If I get married, I might take it if I REALLY like it. I also might keep my own. Or combine them in some way. Or have a choose a new one for both of us together. Or I might not get married. In other words, NO IDEA. I'd likely not take theirs, though.
04/18/2013
Contributor: Martiniman Martiniman
My wife hyphenated her last name and I was just fine with that.
04/18/2013
Contributor: Peggi Peggi
I am divorced but in my previous marriage I didn't change my last name. To be honest, it was an awful relationship prior to the wedding, and I honestly had been mentally broken down, so I only went through with the wedding because of the emotional abuse. I was one of "those" victims, but now I have my new man, and I was more than happy to let him know I wanted to take his last name, even when we first started discussing marriage I think it sounds great with my name anyway, and I love it, and I love him <3
04/18/2013
Contributor: eri86 eri86
I'm a traditionalist.
04/18/2013
Contributor: BrittaniMaree BrittaniMaree
If/when I get married, I'll take my husband's last name.
04/18/2013
Contributor: spiced spiced
Quote:
Originally posted by bratcat
When and if i decide to get married i'd like to just have a hyphenated last name that combines the two, like some of my family has done.
How could I forget the hyphen option?! I have friends who did that, too. If this becomes the most popular trend, it's going to become pretty confusing in a couple of generations. What happens when Jane Wilson-Smythe marries John Baker-Chalmers? Jane Wilson-Smith/Baker-Cha lmers?

Still, that IS a lot more equitable than the traditional way. Hard to seriously argue against it.
04/18/2013
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
We are also traditionalists. My wife took my name - but uses her maiden name as a second middle name. No hyphens or anything fancy.
04/18/2013
Contributor: Chastity Darling Chastity Darling
I kept my name. My kids have his last name. His last name just sounded horrid with my first and middle. He is also divorced and his ex still carries his last name, his mom is also divorced but kept his dads last name and I refuse to be the third ex-mrs last name.
04/18/2013
Contributor: Pixel Pixel
I am proud of my heritage and last name. When my mate and I get married, I plan on hyphenating my last name and his.
04/18/2013
Contributor: lovelyzombie lovelyzombie
i dont really want to get married
04/18/2013
Contributor: js250 js250
I changed my name with my first marriage. I went back to my maiden name upon divorce, though. With my current marriage I use my maiden name for all my legal papers, etc. and his last name socially. Changing my business and other personal paperwork would have been a daunting task!!
04/18/2013
Contributor: Dixiemomma Dixiemomma
i didnt take my first husbands name.... we're divorced now so maybe it was foresight? lol i will take my Mister's name when the time comes though!
04/18/2013
Contributor: Gone (LD29) Gone (LD29)
When we first got married, I was originally going to use my maiden name as a secondary middle name and take his last name. I never did it, though. We'd already been together as a couple for ten years when we got married, and it didn't seem like taking that step made it necessary for me to change my identity. I like my name the way it is.

Now that our son is getting to be school aged, I'm tossing around the idea of changing my name to match his. (There was never any question that our son would have hubby's last name.) I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet. There's a good chance I still won't change it.
04/18/2013
Contributor: KinkyKatieJames KinkyKatieJames
I plan on changing mine. Although my current last name is much more interesting than my boyfriend's. :-P
04/18/2013
Contributor: Silverwinds Silverwinds
I plan to take my husbands last name when I get married. I like the feeling of belonging to him, both in body, spirit, and name!
04/18/2013
Contributor: Isola Isola
I'm not sure what I'll do yet. Hah!
04/18/2013
Contributor: sunflower sunflower
I want to keep my name unless my imaginary future spouse had a really great last name. My last name is pretty awesome and I hate the idea of changing it anyway. I hope imaginary spouse would adopt my last name too but maybe that's pushing it.
04/19/2013
Contributor: Martiniman Martiniman
Quote:
Originally posted by spiced
How could I forget the hyphen option?! I have friends who did that, too. If this becomes the most popular trend, it's going to become pretty confusing in a couple of generations. What happens when Jane Wilson-Smythe marries John Baker-Chalmers? ... more
Don't think it works this way. My wife has a hyphenated name, but my children do not. They have my last name and only my last name.
04/19/2013
Contributor: solitudinarian solitudinarian
Not too sure yet. I'm not overly fond of my boyfriend's surname and my names go well together.

I wouldn't want a hyphenated name. My surname is long enough as it is!
04/21/2013