Quote:
Originally posted by
indiglo
I agree with P'Gell. I think it's really, really important to work hard to cultivate an enjoyment (and love) of children if you have them or work around them. Children have a lot to offer if we just take the time to respect them for who and
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I agree with P'Gell. I think it's really, really important to work hard to cultivate an enjoyment (and love) of children if you have them or work around them. Children have a lot to offer if we just take the time to respect them for who and what they are. They can tell when they aren't wanted or when you don't care about them, so if you have children it's important to cultivate a love for them if it doesn't come naturally to you. You need extra patience and understanding when around children, but it's important not to alienate your own children (or their friends) just because you find them personally annoying. As adults, it's our job to be the grown ups, and cultivate the necessary qualities to enjoy children, and encourage them to feel good about themselves, feel loved and feel safe. It isn't a child's fault it is on this planet, and remember, we were all children once.
I know women who are mothers and do not like children. It breaks my heart to see how they treat their kids and to see how the kids feel about themselves and their lives. It just isn't fair to the kids.
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Amen. I feel if people can't tolerate kids, there are many choices for them, the first of which is simply not having them. Or, working on their own intolerances to actually
cultivate a love of children. NO, most aren't "perfectly behaved." NO ONE'S kids are all the time. "Good" parents, "Bad" parents, it doesn't matter! All kids are bratty at times, and most parents have little control (besides maybe beatings) over a lot of "naughty in public" behavior. I am highly suspicious of people who claim their kids are "always well behaved" yet go on and on about the "brattiness" of others children. I often see the "my kids never misbehave or act bratty" parents kids are NO different than anyone elses, their parents are simply either immune or are able to ignore their own children's less than "perfect" behavior. IMO, most adults are much more annoying than most kids I know.
But, like it or not, children ARE part of our society. Put "black" or "Latina" or "Mentally Handicapped" or "Elderly" in the place of "child" in some people's speech and see what kind of reaction you get. It's the same thing. In some circles it's not only "OK" to not like kids, it's expected for you to not tolerate them. I don't get that at all, but I've run into it.
I don't get it. Everyone can do internal work to decrease their intolerances. Its an ongoing process and part of being human and getting along with others.
I stand
strongly behind people who realize they wouldn't make good parents and refuse to bring unwanted and
unappreciated kids into the world. I think it's a very mature decision on their part. All children should be born to people who love and WANT them, as well as are willing to realize that children need
friends and so are willing to work on themselves to be able to tolerate other children, in order to make their own children's lives richer.