The New Intimacy

You're Invited!!! But, You Gotta Pay to Get In...

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Contributor: Ansley Ansley
An aquaintance is throwing their own birthday party and giving everyone gift bags. These gift bags are filled with mini-liquor bottles, shot glasses, condoms, and other things that are "hush-hush". Knowing them, it's probably anal beads or something like that. The catch? They're asking for cash at the door. I think the final number ended up being $25 per person.

Even the most pretentious person I've ever met would never do such a thing, so I gotta ask...would you/have you ever thought about charging cover for your own birthday party? Do you know anyone who has? Keep in mind this is at their home, not at a club or restaurant or anything like that.
09/25/2011
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Contributor: Kindred Kindred
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
An aquaintance is throwing their own birthday party and giving everyone gift bags. These gift bags are filled with mini-liquor bottles, shot glasses, condoms, and other things that are "hush-hush". Knowing them, it's probably anal beads ... more
It's not a "gift bag" if they're charging $25. And personally if I want to spend $25 on toys, I'd prefer to pick them myself. Does the admission price also include a hand job maybe?
09/25/2011
Contributor: Taylor Taylor
Yeah I wouldn't pay to go to someone's birthday party, even with the goodie bag. I assume they want a gift as well that you will need to spend money on?
09/25/2011
Contributor: wrecklesswords wrecklesswords
Nope, I wouldn't pay anything at all to go to someone's birthday party. Unless I was rich and it was at some pretentious club or something. But otherwise, why pay for a party gift bag? Doesn't that just... defeat the purpose?
09/25/2011
Contributor: JessCee JessCee
no. freaking. way... especially if it's just an acquaintance. I'm not going to pay you to 1. enjoy YOUR birthday or 2. to receive a "gift" bag from you filled with things I might not even like.
09/25/2011
Contributor: Ryuson Ryuson
(Review Program Mentor)
I always thought that bringing a gift made up for their expenses and the favors?
09/25/2011
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by Kindred
It's not a "gift bag" if they're charging $25. And personally if I want to spend $25 on toys, I'd prefer to pick them myself. Does the admission price also include a hand job maybe?
It better come with hookers and blow, too. When I heard about it, it wasn't any wonder why we weren't invited. We would immediately said, "hell no". This person in question hangs out with a bunch of young, easily influenced people so it wouldn't surprise me that they get a huge turn out.
09/25/2011
Contributor: Lucky21 Lucky21
Yeah, it's totally lame. If you are going to give out stuff at your party, just give it out.
09/25/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
A party is an event that the host or hostess gives to celebrate his or her guests. I am not big on people giving their own birthday or anniversary parties anyway. They always say "Oh, don't bring a gift." but people who don't always feel out of place. Gifts at birthday parties should be limited to those under 18 and checks for $12.00 from your gramma.

Asking someone to pay to go to a birthday party is the height of tackiness.

Paying for parties are for fraternities and political fund raisers. One's birthday, even one's wedding or anniversary should never be held as a fund raiser.

I would give my regrets and give a polite, but honest reason why I wasn't going, "Sorry, but things are tight. I can't possibly pay that much to attend a party. Let me know if you want simple, cheerful, friendly company. Otherwise, I'm not available and obviously out of your circle of well funded friends. But, I am available just for good friendship and fun at no extra cost to either of us."
09/25/2011
Contributor: Illumin8 Illumin8
No, I'd never ask someone to pay for a party. That's a little ridiculous, IMO.
09/25/2011
Contributor: Breas Breas
I would not host a party like that no.. just because I don't agree with it. BUT I would host a get together at my house and admission would be non-perishable food items and all the donations would go to the food bank. I like doing things like that because its not asking for anything for myself, but instead its a way to get everyone to get together for a cause.
09/25/2011
Contributor: hjtee hjtee
There would be no way in hell I would go. It kind of seems like she's trying to show off her money by giving fancy giftbags, but asking for money to attend, seems to cancel it out.
09/25/2011
Contributor: Selective Sensualist Selective Sensualist
I agree with everyone else and particularly with P'Gell's choice of words: it is the very height of tackiness.
09/25/2011
Contributor: Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
the only way I could agree to going is that it was like a charity event or something along those lines. It seems incredibly rude that you have to pay to go to someone else's birthday party. I thought gift giving was supposed to suffice?
09/25/2011
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
A party is an event that the host or hostess gives to celebrate his or her guests. I am not big on people giving their own birthday or anniversary parties anyway. They always say "Oh, don't bring a gift." but people who don't always ... more
Absolutely, I don't think there's ANYTHING wrong with saying why you're not coming. A person like that NEEDS a reality check! I think I'd say it more briefly and with less, um, sass though, P'Gell! I'd probably just say "My apologies, but money is hard to come by lately. I'm afraid paying to attend a party is not realistic for me. Hoping you have an excellent time on your birthday, however!"
09/25/2011
Contributor: Kkay Kkay
With it being held at someone's home, I can't really see it being appropriate. If it were elsewhere it'd be different.
09/25/2011
Contributor: Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
A party is an event that the host or hostess gives to celebrate his or her guests. I am not big on people giving their own birthday or anniversary parties anyway. They always say "Oh, don't bring a gift." but people who don't always ... more
I would give my regrets and give a polite, but honest reason why I wasn't going, "Sorry, but things are tight. I can't possibly pay that much to attend a party

Funny you say this!

My husband came home with Christmas Party invitation from his work. It's not nearly as expensive as the parties in the past, but at $100 per couple (Heaven forbid you have to bring your kiddos and pay for childcare too) the only people who are going to be able to afford to go are those of the higher echelon. We are not going! No way in hell I am forking out that kind of money at Christmastime, to spend my time with people we don't really like in the first place. They can get bent!
09/25/2011
Contributor: Starkiller87 Starkiller87
Ive heard of people asking for money for birthdays but it being for charity. Like dont buy me presents please bring a small donation for such and such charity organization. I think that is understandable, and a fun idea. But not hey its my birthday give me money if you want to come to my party. Thats total bs.
09/25/2011
Contributor: Ajax Ajax
We have a friend who likes to rent out the vip sections at clubs for his birthdays every year and always asks for money from anyone who wants to go. I understand why he charges..but I tend to skip those parties. Especially because renting out the sections doesn't cover booze costs so it's not worth it all.

On a similar note; have you ever had someone give you a birthday present and then tell you that you owe them half of the cost because it was really expensive? lol

My brother in law does it all the time and it pisses me off. It would be perfectly okay if you agreed ahead of time to split the cost on something you might not have otherwise had the money for yourself, but to just show up with something and request money after the fact boggles my mind. It's safer to just NOT accept his gifts.
09/25/2011
Contributor: ScotchIrish ScotchIrish
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
An aquaintance is throwing their own birthday party and giving everyone gift bags. These gift bags are filled with mini-liquor bottles, shot glasses, condoms, and other things that are "hush-hush". Knowing them, it's probably anal beads ... more
I don't have enough friends to ostracize those I do with a fundraiser birthday party. This is one I would not be going to. And, $25 would buy me 24 new friends/ alla a case of beer. Short term friends. lol But, someone is always trying to reinvent the wheel. This would just be a "Wheel of Misfortunes".
09/25/2011
Contributor: Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
Quote:
Originally posted by ScotchIrish
I don't have enough friends to ostracize those I do with a fundraiser birthday party. This is one I would not be going to. And, $25 would buy me 24 new friends/ alla a case of beer. Short term friends. lol But, someone is always trying to ... more
I don't have enough friends to ostracize those I do with a fundraiser birthday party. This is one I would not be going to. And, $25 would buy me 24 new friends/ alla a case of beer.

My sentiments exactly!
09/25/2011
Contributor: Yaoi Pervette (deleted) Yaoi Pervette (deleted)
Charging people to come to your birthday party is just tacky. If you can't afford to give away the items in the goody bags for free, then don't give away goody bags. You know that the person is charging to cover those costs.
09/25/2011
Contributor: Peggi Peggi
There was only one time I paid to go to a friend's birthday party but it was optional. She had plenty of really good food and there were gift bags and all but she was asking that if you wanted to eat some of the really pricey foods that she'd gotten you had to let her know in advance who all wanted them and to pay. She had some foods imported from out of country so she was basically saying 'here is what I can have brought in, let me know if you want me to special order some for you and if so the cost is $20' but that was an option because she always gets some pretty cool stuff!

If I were in your specific position though there is no way I would pay to go to a birthday party unless they are giving the entry fee as an option and if they can't afford what they are giving as gifts then they shouldn't put them in a "gift bag" at all!
09/25/2011
Contributor: domsub1993 domsub1993
No, I wouldn't do that. And I wouldn't go to a birthday party where I had to pay. Are you expected to bring a gift??
09/25/2011
Contributor: shySEXXaddict shySEXXaddict
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
An aquaintance is throwing their own birthday party and giving everyone gift bags. These gift bags are filled with mini-liquor bottles, shot glasses, condoms, and other things that are "hush-hush". Knowing them, it's probably anal beads ... more
no definitely not! I think that if IT WAS at a club then it would be understandable but why would you wanna pay to go to someones party?unless they are a celebrity then no way!And im sure for 25 bucks you could go and get all that stuff in the bag right? You didnt ask for "door gifts"..I say boycot it and if they ask why tell them you dont mind giving a gift but a gift and paying to get in is ridiculous!
09/25/2011
Contributor: Breas Breas
Maybe you could tell them you want to come celebrate their birthday with them but don't have the cash so ask them if you can go for free and just not receive a gift bag?
09/25/2011
Contributor: Ash1141 Ash1141
No way
09/25/2011
Contributor: T&A1987 T&A1987
not unless it's an elaborate test to see who has the courage to say something (or is passive enough not to).
09/25/2011
Contributor: Pixel Pixel
Wow, that is incredibly tacky. Boo to their poor manners.
09/25/2011
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
So tacky. I've known people that have done this too, and I never go. If they ask, I'll even tell them why I'm not going. I would never do it. If you can't afford to throw a party, then don't throw a party - just have all your friends meet up at a restaurant or something.
09/25/2011