The New Intimacy

If a current or past sex partner asked you to do something sexually with them and you said no...A question?

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Contributor: Martiniman Martiniman
If you have ever said NO to doing something sexual with a current or past sex partner, what was your main reason for saying no?

Bonus Question: What have you said NO to when it comes to sex with your current or past sex partner?

I'm not talking about just saying no to sex. I'm asking if they had asked about trying something that was new to you like anal sex, BDSM, swinging, threesomes, gang bangs, public nudity and sex, erotic photography or so many other possible things
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
I've never said no, I'll try anything once!
Gunsmoke , bayosgirl , Martiniman , Bignuf , Rokmai
5  (17%)
I was to shy.
ChubbyNerd
1  (3%)
I was slightly uncomfortable with the request.
TransMarc , Sammi , Trysexual , gsfanatic
4  (13%)
I was extremely uncomfortable with the request.
I just wasn't interested.
never shy , libbyv , KinkyKatieJames , PeaceToTheMiddleEast , Melan!e , tami , Cosmonaut , Gone (LD29) , dv8
9  (30%)
I thought it was gross.
bog , GONE! , ViVix , jackie.jfky
4  (13%)
I was afraid they would want me to reciprocate...I could do it to them, but didn't want it done to me.
It was against my morals.
I don't like receiving pain.
I don't like giving pain.
I'm not submissive.
I'm not dominant.
solitudinarian
1  (3%)
It was to dangerous in my mind.
It was illegal.
I didn't like the other people involved.
I didn't trust them.
I had tried it in the past with someone else and I didn't like it.
There are just some things I'll never do.
edeneve
1  (3%)
It was to taboo.
Other...because I know I missed something. Please explain.
married with children , Hummingbird , TJtheMadHatter , Talena , SaucyxGirl
5  (17%)
Total votes: 30
Poll is closed
04/10/2013
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Contributor: never shy never shy
With a ex I refused to do anal
04/10/2013
Contributor: libbyv libbyv
Quote:
Originally posted by never shy
With a ex I refused to do anal
same here
04/10/2013
Contributor: KinkyKatieJames KinkyKatieJames
An ex asked if I would do double vaginal penetration. No, thanks.
04/10/2013
Contributor: TransMarc TransMarc
It's too complicated to explain, but I was slightly uncomfortable AND didn't trust them. They wouldn't accept me to do that in a slightly different, more comfortable way, less scary... So yeah. In the end, the relationship didn't work out anyway
04/10/2013
Contributor: PeaceToTheMiddleEast PeaceToTheMiddleEast
I don't do anal. So when anyone asked the answer was no point blank period.
04/10/2013
Contributor: married with children married with children
I have only turned her down on nights I was sick or so tired I just could not stay awake. As far as sexual acts go, I have never turned one down with her. I have also only been with her, and her with me. We are very open with each other and enjoy our time in the bedroom. There are things that I would say no to, but they are things that she would never ask because she is not interested in them either.
04/10/2013
Contributor: bog bog
Quote:
Originally posted by Martiniman
If you have ever said NO to doing something sexual with a current or past sex partner, what was your main reason for saying no?

Bonus Question: What have you said NO to when it comes to sex with your current or past sex ... more
I consider myself incredibly open-minded, so I'm surprised when things seem gross to me. It's happened, though!
04/10/2013
Contributor: Melan!e Melan!e
With past partners and earlier in my relationship with my current partner, I was completely uninterested in anal anything. I didn't know much about it and wasn't all that interested in learning about it either.
04/10/2013
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
I've never told a partner no - but then again no partner has ever asked me to do anything even remotely kinky.
04/11/2013
Contributor: bayosgirl bayosgirl
I've never said no--but no one has ever asked me to do anything particularly 'out there.' I would definitely say no to group sex, ATM, and several fetishes. I think at this point in my sexual experience, I know what my limits are.
04/11/2013
Contributor: Jenny Swallows Jenny Swallows
I refused to "be his bitch" and let him parade me through a nightclub on a leash. And, strangely, he said "hell, no" when I suggested I do it to him instead....
04/11/2013
Contributor: tami tami
Quote:
Originally posted by Martiniman
If you have ever said NO to doing something sexual with a current or past sex partner, what was your main reason for saying no?

Bonus Question: What have you said NO to when it comes to sex with your current or past sex ... more
hubby wanted to bring a third person into our bedroom and I am not into that at all and think it is one-on-one or nothing at all I don't share and will not be shared
04/11/2013
Contributor: ViVix ViVix
Quote:
Originally posted by Martiniman
If you have ever said NO to doing something sexual with a current or past sex partner, what was your main reason for saying no?

Bonus Question: What have you said NO to when it comes to sex with your current or past sex ... more
I'm refused to be #2'ed on. Gross...and unhealthy. I've also refused to do stuff with feet. Blech.
04/11/2013
Contributor: Trysexual Trysexual
I have refused to give pain or pull hair. Not my thing. I may have made a feeble attempt.
04/11/2013
Contributor: Martiniman Martiniman
Quote:
Originally posted by Jenny Swallows
I refused to "be his bitch" and let him parade me through a nightclub on a leash. And, strangely, he said "hell, no" when I suggested I do it to him instead....
That's very interesting! I've always held the belief that if I'm willing to ask my wife to do it, then I'm willing if she wants to try it with me.
04/11/2013
Contributor: Hummingbird Hummingbird
Never been asked, I was much too introverted in my younger days, I think guys probably knew that so never approached me. Today? That would be different, if I wasn't married.
04/11/2013
Contributor: gsfanatic gsfanatic
I was a bit uncomfortable, since I felt she was moving faster than she really wanted. It ended up working out and we tried it later
04/12/2013
Contributor: Martiniman Martiniman
To answer my own question, I don't think I'd say no to anything as I have the ill try anything once philosophy, but that is only with my wife due to love and trust.
04/13/2013
Contributor: Cosmonaut Cosmonaut
I just wasn't interested in whatever it was they suggested.
04/13/2013
Contributor: TJtheMadHatter TJtheMadHatter
I chose other because I wish I had said no. An abusive ex of mine, asked me to do something I wasn't mentally ready for. He wanted me to peg him, while he was wearing my lingerie. It sounded great before we did it, but after it happened the abuse really started and I was seriously confused. So, I was really twisted and judgmental as a result. It took me a long time to leave the relationship and to return to my normally open, positive way of thinking.
04/13/2013
Contributor: Talena Talena
I chose other because depending on my mood I am liable to say yes to a lot or no to everything. I do like to experiment but I also have limits so I won't try EVERYTHING just most things lol.
04/13/2013
Contributor: SaucyxGirl SaucyxGirl
I won't do anal with my current partner. Which is odd as I absolutely love anal. It isn't a size issue because although he is a tad above average I have
had bigger things in there. I really don't know why I refuse to do anal with him.
04/17/2013
Contributor: dancingduo dancingduo
Quote:
Originally posted by married with children
I have only turned her down on nights I was sick or so tired I just could not stay awake. As far as sexual acts go, I have never turned one down with her. I have also only been with her, and her with me. We are very open with each other and enjoy ... more
Same here. Its pretty comforting to know it. I have had to say no for logical purposes. (6'3" guy doing car sex in the back of a small Saturn...)
04/17/2013
Contributor: ChubbyNerd ChubbyNerd
I would never have anal with my ex because I wasn't ready to try it with him.
04/17/2013
Contributor: jackie.jfky jackie.jfky
Bad tasting lady parts...

:X
04/17/2013
Contributor: Martiniman Martiniman
Quote:
Originally posted by SaucyxGirl
I won't do anal with my current partner. Which is odd as I absolutely love anal. It isn't a size issue because although he is a tad above average I have
had bigger things in there. I really don't know why I refuse to do anal with him.
I find this so interesting, especially that you're lost for words why you won't allow him. Thanks for sharing.
04/18/2013