I wish my partner would try....

Contributor: js250 js250
What is the one sexual act you wish your partner would try at least once?
Have you asked them?
Why do you think they will not try it or think about it?
08/12/2013
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Contributor: lalalalove lalalalove
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
What is the one sexual act you wish your partner would try at least once?
Have you asked them?
Why do you think they will not try it or think about it?
Age play It's not a mutual interest, ah well
08/12/2013
Contributor: Gluesnffr Gluesnffr
I wish she would try swallowing...
08/12/2013
Contributor: Feisty Feisty
Anal play
08/12/2013
Contributor: Gr8pumpkin Gr8pumpkin
Quote:
Originally posted by Feisty
Anal play
Masturbation with a nice big dildo or vibrator, while I watch.
I have not brought it up, it's just my fantasy. She might be willing......not sure I want to embarrass myself by asking.
08/13/2013
Contributor: lalalalove lalalalove
Quote:
Originally posted by Gr8pumpkin
Masturbation with a nice big dildo or vibrator, while I watch.
I have not brought it up, it's just my fantasy. She might be willing......not sure I want to embarrass myself by asking.
Maybe try not approaching her directly about if you're nervous.. If she plays with herself while you are having sex with each other, try telling her after how sexy you think it is and gauge her reaction from there?
08/13/2013
Contributor: Thong man Thong man
Anal. We have talked about it and she says that she has no interest in it. She has opened up though and we have begun some ass play with me. Maybe she will come around after seeing my enjoyment of it. Time will tell.
08/13/2013
Contributor: js250 js250
Role play. Specifically, public or costumed role playing. Nothing really odd, just the basics to start with. I think it would be fun to do the 'stranger pick up', 'escort/call girl' or maid roles.

He feels it is silly and a bit awkward and unnecessary to "play pretend like children" as part of our sex life. I might keep trying to add a bit of the roles as an outfit or lingerie and see if we may work into it in the future.
08/13/2013
Contributor: Bubba29 Bubba29
mfm 3sum
08/13/2013
Contributor: Rossie Rossie
I wish my guy would let me do anal play on him and rub his prostate -- every time my finger moves close to his backdoor, he'll stop me.
08/13/2013
Contributor: Bubba29 Bubba29
Quote:
Originally posted by Rossie
I wish my guy would let me do anal play on him and rub his prostate -- every time my finger moves close to his backdoor, he'll stop me.
please talk to my wife bout this. would love her to do this for me.
08/13/2013
Contributor: justwannahavefun justwannahavefun
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
What is the one sexual act you wish your partner would try at least once?
Have you asked them?
Why do you think they will not try it or think about it?
I would love to try anal(on me) with my boyfriend but he hasn't ever showed any interest and I am to nervous to ask him.
08/13/2013
Contributor: Rossie Rossie
Quote:
Originally posted by Bubba29
please talk to my wife bout this. would love her to do this for me.
Sure, and vice versa!
08/13/2013
Contributor: Bubba29 Bubba29
Quote:
Originally posted by Rossie
Sure, and vice versa!
many are hung up on the grossness of playing down there. she didn't have problem changing thousands of poopy diapers or asking me to do the same. but touching/playing with their lover down there (who is willing to clean themselves extremely well) to give pleasure is just off limits.

as for your husband, not sure what to say. i recently discovered an orgasm with prostate stimulation is so much better than without. then again, i don't have hang ups about the cleanliness or sexuality of doing this. i always tell my wife we might as well make the best of our sex if we are the only ones we will be with the rest of our life.
08/14/2013
Contributor: Happy Kupple Happy Kupple
I would like to do a MFM with her. We have fantasies of a black man joining us and the fantasy always leads to incredible orgasms.
08/18/2013
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by Bubba29
many are hung up on the grossness of playing down there. she didn't have problem changing thousands of poopy diapers or asking me to do the same. but touching/playing with their lover down there (who is willing to clean themselves extremely ... more
i always tell my wife we might as well make the best of our sex if we are the only ones we will be with the rest of our life.

That very well may be the problem. No one likes to think, hear or feel that the time they're being intimate with someone else could be "better". Putting such a heavy weight on one act greatly discounts all of them and makes a person less willing to open up and try new things.
08/20/2013
Contributor: SexyPenis SexyPenis
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
i always tell my wife we might as well make the best of our sex if we are the only ones we will be with the rest of our life.

That very well may be the problem. No one likes to think, hear or feel that the time they're being intimate with ... more
Wouldn't fantasy during intimate activities be a way of imagining something "better" even if it's only in the realm of fantasy?

How would you propose something that you wanted to try that would not make a person less willing to open up and try new things? Based on that logic, isn't any new suggestion implying that your relationship could be better? On the contrary, I like to think that my intimate relationship is always improving in some way as we get more familiar with our bodies and communicate better. Outside of a mindfulness state of living in the moment, thinking "this is as good as it could ever be" seems kind of short sighted and potentially suicidal. I, at least, am not against hearing suggestions for improvement. I know nobody WANTS to be told they could stand to lose weight or stop smoking or any number of things they don't want to change, or maybe they do want to change but not enough to actually do it, or things they CAN'T change, like height, but I don't think that is the issue here. Maybe they're not excited to try something that is outside their comfort zone but how else do you grow?

All that said, communication is important and I'm not advocating forcing someone to do something that is a hard "no" for them, but you need to be able to ask for what you want, even if it's just subtle. You don't want to put someone down because they don't want to do what you want to do. If the other party is not willing, then drop it. If they're hesitant, go VERY slowly, and if they're open to it, get to it! Every relationship is different, but those are my feelings.

As for the one sexual act...I would hope for prostate play on me. She's fine with me using toys during sex and whatnot but has no desire to go there personally. I think it's because she has gotten very self-conscious about anal play in general (not sure why). When she's aroused anal play might happen on her but it's only happened once or twice on me, and never all the way to the prostate. I guess generally more anal play for both of us would be nice.
08/20/2013
Contributor: Rossie Rossie
Quote:
Originally posted by Bubba29
many are hung up on the grossness of playing down there. she didn't have problem changing thousands of poopy diapers or asking me to do the same. but touching/playing with their lover down there (who is willing to clean themselves extremely ... more
Grossness is not a factor for him, because he doesn't mind fingering my tush with his finger or having anal sex. He claims he just doesn't like the feeling of that region being touched, and he doesn't even want me to massage his perineum while I'm giving him BJs -- I guess not all men enjoy the same activities!
08/20/2013
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by SexyPenis
Wouldn't fantasy during intimate activities be a way of imagining something "better" even if it's only in the realm of fantasy?

How would you propose something that you wanted to try that would not make a person less willing ... more
My issue is solely with the use of the word "better". New? Sure. Fun? Exciting? Absolutely. Different? You betcha! Better? No.

It's a word associated with inadequacy and I think it has the potential to shut people down before they even give something a thought or two to see if they would enjoy it. It sets off a chain reaction, "well, what else am I not doing right or enough of"...I've seen it so many times. And experienced it once or twelve myself.
08/20/2013
Contributor: edeneve edeneve
actually, I'd like any partner to be eager to just use toys.
08/20/2013
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Rossie
Grossness is not a factor for him, because he doesn't mind fingering my tush with his finger or having anal sex. He claims he just doesn't like the feeling of that region being touched, and he doesn't even want me to massage his perineum ... more
I can say that this is exactly an issue with one of my partners...he doesn't like certain things he loves doing for me. The feeling is just too intense and he doesn't like it.
08/20/2013
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
My issue is solely with the use of the word "better". New? Sure. Fun? Exciting? Absolutely. Different? You betcha! Better? No.

It's a word associated with inadequacy and I think it has the potential to shut people down before ... more
I don't believe that asking to try something new implies that I want our sex to be "better" and when it was phrased to me this way by Sigel I shut him down immediately. It felt like he was criticizing me and saying I wasn't doing all I could be doing to make him happy. When he explained that he was thinking that it might be interesting to try something new and that even if I said no he would be happy with our sex life I was able to give it a try with the understanding that this was just a trial.

I would tell your wife that you really like to be touched there and if she would do that for you it would be amazing but if she's not comfortable with the practice you aren't going to shrivel up and die or cheat on her to get it.
08/20/2013
Contributor: Sincerely yours, N Sincerely yours, N
Though I agree with the word "better" being tossed around too frequently, I've been with too many lovers that didn't care about my pleasure that, had I been blunter, I would have told need to make sex better. There is a possible better - I was with one guy that thought sex was just us lying down, him entering, him thrusting, us finishing. No foreplay, no anything else, always missionary. He didn't care for it when I asked to try something different or make the bedroom more interesting, but when I told him I want better sex he finally actually reacted.

Granted, it really does depend on the situation and people involved. I wouldn't mind being told that I should try ____ to be better in bed, but I'm also more critical of myself than my partner will likely ever be. I think that this really depends on the people involved, and also because sometimes people don't understand subtle hints and you really do have to be blunt.
08/20/2013
Contributor: dontbackdown02 dontbackdown02
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
What is the one sexual act you wish your partner would try at least once?
Have you asked them?
Why do you think they will not try it or think about it?
I've asked to try certain things but he says no or he doesn't want to fulfill someone else's fantasy
08/20/2013
Contributor: RonLee RonLee
I would like my partner to top me.
08/20/2013
Contributor: pickleberry pickleberry
anal play
08/21/2013
Contributor: Cinnyree Cinnyree
I keep trying to get my boyfriend to tie me up. I even bought him the infamous grey tie. He just keeps saying that he doesn't know how or doesn't know what I want. I keep telling him that all I want right now is my hands ties together. He just looks at me funny and goes on with his life. I figure we will get to it eventually.
08/21/2013