The New Intimacy

I'm not even sure what to think... (issues with work)...beware, this is a long one.

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Contributor: SMichelle SMichelle
So... I think I was almost fired today.

My boss sat me down and said, "we need to talk."... And so, she talked, and I listened. After a lot of rambling, she said "I'm letting you go at the end of July, okay?"

Um, what? She had been asking me to come on full time for weeks before that, and I had agreed.

After a few minutes, she said, "no, nevermind, I still want you here full time, but I can't do vacation time for you..." (I've always told her vacation time is important to me, as my boyfriend lives in the UK and I like to visit him... and, well, she doesn't give me benefits so I think I deserve some vacation time).

So, I stare out in space, and barely manage to utter a word.

She says, "I can do a week here, and a week there... if you give me enough notice. I may even be able to do a few days from the week after."

I already have a trip to see him planned in June, so I'm not too panicked yet...but I can just envision her giving me trouble the next time I request a 5 day vacation, even if it's 3 years from now.

So... I almost got fired. Then I ...wasn't fired. Then I was told no vacation time. Then, yeah, you can have a week off sometime (I was shooting for 2 weeks in a row, but I'll take a week; 7 days in UK with him is better than nothing!)... All in the span of 5 minutes.

I'm so confused that I've been crying since I've got home from work. Realistically, nothing has changed, but god it all feels like a mind-fuck.



And the only thing I can think is, "so I might not get to see my boyfriend again after all.."


I just really needed to vent. Thanks for listening/reading.
05/18/2012
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Contributor: SMichelle SMichelle
Quote:
Originally posted by SMichelle
So... I think I was almost fired today.

My boss sat me down and said, "we need to talk."... And so, she talked, and I listened. After a lot of rambling, she said "I'm letting you go at the end of July, okay?"

Um, ... more
To add, just so that I don't sound like a huge cry baby here...

I routinely fill in for her to take time off. I regularly stay late (without overtime pay) so that she can go out and have some fun with her friends. I do an awful lot, and kind of get nothing in return (okay, money, but no benefits, no overtime pay, and possibly no vacation-time).
05/18/2012
Contributor: Ryuson Ryuson
(Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by SMichelle
So... I think I was almost fired today.

My boss sat me down and said, "we need to talk."... And so, she talked, and I listened. After a lot of rambling, she said "I'm letting you go at the end of July, okay?"

Um, ... more
It sounds like your job is having a LOT of financial issues. From what it sounds like they have too many people to pay, but they don't have enough people to work the store when they're open. They also don't have enough money to give you paid vacation time, but at the same time they understand how good of an employee you've been and that you deserve a few days off every now and again.

Just try and understand what they're going through, though it's tough. This economy has taken a toll on everyone. Just try and keep a savings in case you do lose your job or they go out of business!
05/18/2012
Contributor: Petite Valentine Petite Valentine
That sucks. It sounds like she's using you but in this economy few people can afford to just walk away from a paying gig. I'd brush off the resume and start looking for another position if I were in your shoes. The environment seems very unstable, and even if she doesn't fire you, it sounds like an unhealthy atmosphere.
05/18/2012
Contributor: SMichelle SMichelle
Quote:
Originally posted by Ryuson
It sounds like your job is having a LOT of financial issues. From what it sounds like they have too many people to pay, but they don't have enough people to work the store when they're open. They also don't have enough money to give you ... more
It's an independently owned childcare center, with only one other employee other than myself (and the boss).

My boss, who owns the center, does extremely well for herself financially.

The thing is, I'm not even asking for paid vacation time. I just want the ability to go for a week, UNPAID vacation time. My vacation time now is completely unpaid.
05/18/2012
Contributor: Ryuson Ryuson
(Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by SMichelle
It's an independently owned childcare center, with only one other employee other than myself (and the boss).

My boss, who owns the center, does extremely well for herself financially.

The thing is, I'm not even asking for paid ... more
If she's doing so well for herself but letting her company not do so well maybe it's time to find another place to work. I know that it's hard to find a job in this economy, but you can always keep this job while you search for another one. You should have more job security than that, and you should not have to deal with someone who puts their personal gains over their business. That's all well and good if they're self employed, but not if they have people working under them.
05/18/2012
Contributor: SMichelle SMichelle
Quote:
Originally posted by Ryuson
If she's doing so well for herself but letting her company not do so well maybe it's time to find another place to work. I know that it's hard to find a job in this economy, but you can always keep this job while you search for another ... more
She keeps claiming the reason for no vacation time is that she doesn't know anyone who will cover me. But... I don't really understand it. When we first started discussing me becoming a full time employee, she stated it was absolutely no problem that I have unpaid vacation time.

Then it became, no way can it be done, she can't find anyone to fill in, etc...

Then suddenly (within 5 minutes) it was, "oh, I can give you 5 days here, and a few days from the next week, if you give me enough notice..." ...it's just kind of like, really? Because that's all I wanted all along, why was it an issue?

It makes me think that when I come to her and request a vacation, she's going to put up such a stink about it.

I'm half thinking that I should start planning my NEXT vacation before I even leave for the trip next month (which is only approved as I'm not a full time employee at this time). Maybe I should just walk in on Monday and say, "Can I have 5 days off 8 months from now, please?" ... can't say that wouldn't be giving enough notice.
05/18/2012
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
Man, this lady is not good at managing employees. I don't think it would be a bad idea to get some of her "policies" down in writing. There should be set rules for how much time any employee can ask off, how they should go about asking off, whether it will be paid or unpaid, etc. The place should not be run on her whims. I think I'd try to get everything down in writing. Otherwise, I think it sounds like it will always be a difficult place to work and you'll never know where you stand from one day to the next.

That WAS a major mind-fuck. Very unprofessional too. I'm sorry you have to deal with such a terrible boss, that is just no fun at all.
05/18/2012
Contributor: SMichelle SMichelle
Quote:
Originally posted by indiglo
Man, this lady is not good at managing employees. I don't think it would be a bad idea to get some of her "policies" down in writing. There should be set rules for how much time any employee can ask off, how they should go about ... more
She's TERRIBLE at managing employees.

Her policy has always been really easy going. Before, whenever I requested any time off (in the 6 years I've been there, I've only taken 2 vacations), it was always "no problem, take as many as you want!" ... she used to PUSH for me to take vacations. Now, it's a hassle, and she's worried.

I think she's getting concerned that one day I might decide to relocate to the UK. I explained to her today that that's not something I can do on a whim, as visas take lots of time, and she seemed more comfortable. I think that may have been the REAL reason that she was telling me she was letting me go (so afraid that I'd go on a whim and never come back).

She's just... I don't know. I don't think that she has a clue what she's doing.
05/18/2012
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
That actually makes a LOT of sense. Sometimes it can be a real challenge trying to find out what someone is actually worried about or trying to say. Hopefully reminding her of that stuff will help.

I'm sure she's a nice enough lady, she just shouldn't be in charge of employees from the sounds of it. lol
05/18/2012
Contributor: SMichelle SMichelle
Quote:
Originally posted by indiglo
That actually makes a LOT of sense. Sometimes it can be a real challenge trying to find out what someone is actually worried about or trying to say. Hopefully reminding her of that stuff will help.

I'm sure she's a nice enough lady, ... more
I'm hoping that's it, anyway! LOL Maybe now that she knows I can't go there, marry him, and just stay in the country, maybe she'll be more okay with vacation time.

I doubt it, but I guess time will tell. I am going to ask for weeks off MONTHS in advanced, though, so that she can't claim I sprung things on her.

But... that's another issue altogether. What she ALWAYS does is say, "oh yes, no problem"... and then the trip will be booked, and she asks days before I leave, "when's your trip again?" (Um, you approved it months ago, and it's been on the calendar since then...)

There was one occasion that she had absolutely no clue what to do because I had already booked a vacation that she approved, and she forgot to look for someone to cover for me. Just approved it without question... Thankfully her sister in law was able to help out on short notice.
05/19/2012
Contributor: meitman meitman
Quote:
Originally posted by indiglo
That actually makes a LOT of sense. Sometimes it can be a real challenge trying to find out what someone is actually worried about or trying to say. Hopefully reminding her of that stuff will help.

I'm sure she's a nice enough lady, ... more
I agree with this completely. I don't know her so take it for what it's worth, but it sounds like she's trying to be the boss and maybe she's not really suited to being in charge of others. Some people are, some people aren't. Not saying she's a bad person or anything, but leading others may not be her strength.

Sorry about your day. Sounds like it was very confusing and rough. Hope the situation gets better soon!
05/19/2012
Contributor: Geogeo Geogeo
I think it was a pretty unprofessional meeting. That being said, I think she likes you and is having financial problems at work and HAS to make cut backs, then decided last minute that you wouldn't be that cut back and she'd figure out another way to make ends meet.
05/19/2012
Contributor: SMichelle SMichelle
Quote:
Originally posted by Geogeo
I think it was a pretty unprofessional meeting. That being said, I think she likes you and is having financial problems at work and HAS to make cut backs, then decided last minute that you wouldn't be that cut back and she'd figure out ... more
It's definitely not a need for cut-backs. She and her husband privately own this business, and they BOTH bought VERY expensive cars that they've already paid off, in full.

She's always telling me how much money she has to "throw around".
05/19/2012