The New Intimacy

I'm mortified...

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Contributor: SMichelle SMichelle
Yesterday, I received a package from EF. Two dresses, a babydoll, a pair of fishnet stockings..oh, and a vibrating bullet that I forgot all about as it was a freebie. When I got the package, I quickly pulled out the items I knew I ordered, and than ran upstairs to try everything on, leaving the box on the table. I had completely forgotten that a bullet was in the package too. Now... here is the trouble; I am living with my parents while I finish college.

So...
Guess who found the bullet?
My father, of all people. My father, the guy who will NEVER let an embarrassing moment go.

He approached me this morning; "is this yours?"
"Um.. No. That's not mine."
"It was in the box with your name on it.. (switches to loud, high pitched, overly sarcastic voice) It looks like a vibrator!"
"Um. I have no idea what it is. It's not mine. I ordered a few dresses from a store that sells adult items, I guess it got thrown in there by mistakes. Want to see the dresses?" (Thankfully the dresses are appropriate to wear out)
"Hey _(mom)_, look who got a vibrator!"

My moms reaction was a bit less obnoxious.
"It is whatever it is. Don't make a big deal about it."

I managed to convince them that I had no idea what it was, and that I did not order it. And now, it is sitting in the garbage bin, and I am trying to decide if it's worth fishing it out.

I am absolutely mortified though. My parents are SO not the sort of people that are okay with sex toys.
03/13/2012
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Contributor: Ansley Ansley
An Eden bullet? Hell yeah it's worth fishing out! I love mine.

Seems like they were pretty okay with it, to me.
03/13/2012
Contributor: SMichelle SMichelle
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
An Eden bullet? Hell yeah it's worth fishing out! I love mine.

Seems like they were pretty okay with it, to me.
Yeah, all in all they were okay with it, though my father spent about 2 hours making jokes about it.

And I did just notice it sitting on the bookcase with all of my fathers things, not in the trash. If he and mom want it, they can have it; I'll order myself a new one.
03/13/2012
Contributor: ViVix ViVix
Quote:
Originally posted by SMichelle
Yesterday, I received a package from EF. Two dresses, a babydoll, a pair of fishnet stockings..oh, and a vibrating bullet that I forgot all about as it was a freebie. When I got the package, I quickly pulled out the items I knew I ordered, and than ... more
OMG! I would be mortified too. It's just my mom, but she would pretend she didn't see it, and she wouldn't look at anything with my name on it anyway. I can't believe your dad called you out on it. My brother, however, is gay and much more comfortable talking about the sex stuff. He would tease me without mercy. My sister is a prude and would be grossed out.
03/13/2012
Contributor: ViVix ViVix
Quote:
Originally posted by SMichelle
Yeah, all in all they were okay with it, though my father spent about 2 hours making jokes about it.

And I did just notice it sitting on the bookcase with all of my fathers things, not in the trash. If he and mom want it, they can have it; ... more
LOL! Just read this part. Even weirder for a parent to gank your bullet... LOL!
03/13/2012
Contributor: SMichelle SMichelle
Quote:
Originally posted by ViVix
OMG! I would be mortified too. It's just my mom, but she would pretend she didn't see it, and she wouldn't look at anything with my name on it anyway. I can't believe your dad called you out on it. My brother, however, is gay and much ... more
I think that my mom found some of my toys once. I had just washed a bunch of them (including a butt plug, a few vibrators, and a very realistic dildo) and had them all laying on a towel to dry. My mom evidently was on a hunt for towels a few hours later, as the towel they were on was moved out from underneath them.

She never mentioned a thing about it, and neither did I... but either she saw them, or I imagined the towel being there (and I'm not that crazy).
03/13/2012
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by SMichelle
Yesterday, I received a package from EF. Two dresses, a babydoll, a pair of fishnet stockings..oh, and a vibrating bullet that I forgot all about as it was a freebie. When I got the package, I quickly pulled out the items I knew I ordered, and than ... more
HA!

It seems that they were really messing with you, if I'm applying the right tone.

If it would've been me, I would've said something along the lines of "well, it was either a bullet or that one guy with all the kids from different mothers and the heroine habit. I figured this was cheaper."
03/13/2012
Contributor: SMichelle SMichelle
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
HA!

It seems that they were really messing with you, if I'm applying the right tone.

If it would've been me, I would've said something along the lines of "well, it was either a bullet or that one guy with all the kids ... more
LOL

How can anyone argue with that logic?
03/13/2012
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Why would he attempt to humiliate you like that? That's mean.

When our oldest dd moved out, she, of course, didn't clean her room properly. We wanted to move her little sister in there, so My Man and I took it upon ourselves to clean the room completely. We found condom wrappers, birth control pill empties (the card where with the blisters where you push the pills through) and a few.... other wrappers.

My husband just manfully threw them away, both of us commenting "At least she has been responsible." (Yeah, there was some giggling. But, not TO her.)

A few weeks later I was talking to her about the fact that we had to clean her room and what we found. She said, "OMG, did Daddy see them?" I said yeah, but he was just glad you were responsible. Then she said, "Did you find.....anything else... in there... because J gave me this thing, and OMG, it's like, disgusting, but... I told him I didn't want one and..." I stopped her and said, "All we found were birth control wrapppers. (And I know exactly what she was talking about, but there was no reason to humiliate her at all.)

Parents need to understand that their adult children are sexual beings and get on with it. Really.

I'm sorry you got so humiliated. My husband and I would never do that to any of our kids. I had nosy parents and he had parents who rarely paid attention to what he did, until he got in trouble with the law. We care about our kids, but give them privacy.
03/13/2012
Contributor: PeaceToTheMiddleEast PeaceToTheMiddleEast
Wow that is scary and embarrassing. I would just order another one and hope they get passed it.
03/13/2012
Contributor: PeaceToTheMiddleEast PeaceToTheMiddleEast
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Why would he attempt to humiliate you like that? That's mean.

When our oldest dd moved out, she, of course, didn't clean her room properly. We wanted to move her little sister in there, so My Man and I took it upon ourselves to clean ... more
I agree with what you say. At least they are being responsible.
03/13/2012
Contributor: Breas Breas
ahahaha! I could see my dad doing something similar, though I don't live with him thankfully.
03/13/2012
Contributor: underHim underHim
That is funny! My parents would probably pretend they never saw it and then there would be alot of awkward silence, and I would probably figure out what happened and we would never talk about it. I think I would rather them joke about it like yours did.
03/13/2012
Contributor: Jaimes Jaimes
That's hilarious! Parents can't go through an entire life without a sense of humor, and years from now, this will be a funny memory to share between all of you.

And I generally figure that after a few decades of clothing, feeding and housing their children, parents have earned a few hours of poking fun at their kids for things that really don't matter in the long run. All of those moments have turned into funny conversations as my siblings have all become adults, and we look to our parents with more mature eyes.
03/13/2012
Contributor: Ciao. Ciao.
I am very glad I don't live with my parents anymore! (not that I don't like them, but there's all sorts of benefits to having a little bit of space from family).

Anyway, seems like they didn't freak out, it was a little awkward, but hey you all escaped alive.
03/13/2012
Contributor: Positwist Positwist
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
HA!

It seems that they were really messing with you, if I'm applying the right tone.

If it would've been me, I would've said something along the lines of "well, it was either a bullet or that one guy with all the kids ... more
LOL!

OP, I'm sorry about your embarrassing moment! It does sound to me like your dad might be more okay with sex toys than you think. Folks who really aren't okay with them tend to have a hard time talking about them, let alone teasing their own daughter about them.

I understand that it felt mean spirited, though. Next time, maybe try JR's response?
03/13/2012
Contributor: Rin (aka Nire) Rin (aka Nire)
Quote:
Originally posted by SMichelle
Yeah, all in all they were okay with it, though my father spent about 2 hours making jokes about it.

And I did just notice it sitting on the bookcase with all of my fathers things, not in the trash. If he and mom want it, they can have it; ... more
I would totally leave a post-it on the toy saying, "Oh, look who kept a vibrator!" And maybe in tiny writing, "You hypocrite."
03/13/2012
Contributor: voenne voenne
Eeek, that does sound mortifying. Sorry about that... Hope you can go fish it out of the garbage when they aren't watching.
03/13/2012
Contributor: Rossie Rossie
It's an embarrassing situation, but you're 25 and mature enough to have adult toys. If I see my daughter's toy, I won't say anything about it.
03/13/2012
Contributor: KyotoAngel KyotoAngel
Oh lord x_x
...that must have been horrible, and parents NEVER let you live that kind of thing down.
Kinda funny how it didn't wind up in the trash though. xD

My mom would do that sort of thing to me in an eye blink but she knows it doesn't bother me. (though her still teasing me about getting bit by a skunk two years after it happened is wearing a touch thin =_=; )
03/13/2012
Contributor: SMichelle SMichelle
Quote:
Originally posted by Rin (aka Nire)
I would totally leave a post-it on the toy saying, "Oh, look who kept a vibrator!" And maybe in tiny writing, "You hypocrite."
LOL I might do that before I leave tomorrow morning, as I won't see them for 2 weeks.
03/13/2012
Contributor: Rin (aka Nire) Rin (aka Nire)
Quote:
Originally posted by SMichelle
LOL I might do that before I leave tomorrow morning, as I won't see them for 2 weeks.
That'd be massively entertaining. Let us know if you do it.
03/13/2012
Contributor: SeductivelyCute SeductivelyCute
Quote:
Originally posted by Rin (aka Nire)
I would totally leave a post-it on the toy saying, "Oh, look who kept a vibrator!" And maybe in tiny writing, "You hypocrite."
Thats so funny, I would proabably call them out on it too lol.
03/13/2012
Contributor: Zombirella Zombirella
Quote:
Originally posted by SMichelle
Yesterday, I received a package from EF. Two dresses, a babydoll, a pair of fishnet stockings..oh, and a vibrating bullet that I forgot all about as it was a freebie. When I got the package, I quickly pulled out the items I knew I ordered, and than ... more
Go get it girl! I would be embarrassed too. My father seems to be a bit like yours. He would probably bring it up on his death bed. I can never live anything down with him. Thank God I just live with my mom.
I didn't want her to know but she came in my room looking for laundry and got in the bag I lug back and forth to my fiance's and I had left one of my vibrators in it. Of course it wasn't a bullet....it had to be the Roulette High Roller. We joke about everything but I NEVER thought she would approach me about a sex toy if she found one. She came out later the day that she found it and played dumb saying "I was just wondering what that big pink thing is that I saw in your bag". I just wanted to die. I started making up a story about how my fiance got it for me and it's "too big and scary" and I just didn't know what to do with it.

I think now that I've joined the review program here and have been getting packages that she may know what is going on but hasn't said anything. I hope she never picks up the large over-sized purse-like travel make-up bag that I keep all my toys in. I pushed the zippers together and put a combo lock through them so she can't unzip it. I have no idea how I would explain why there is a lock on a "purse". She did ask about stuff I'm getting in the mail and I told her it's bath and body stuff from a "girly" site and I earn points to get stuff to review and in return I write about it then showed her some bubble bath, lip balm and stuff and she left it alone.

I just can't wait to get my own place with my fiance so I can stop "sneaking" around and feeling like a dirty weirdo sex toy freak lol.
03/13/2012
Contributor: Ryuson Ryuson
(Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Rin (aka Nire)
I would totally leave a post-it on the toy saying, "Oh, look who kept a vibrator!" And maybe in tiny writing, "You hypocrite."
THIS! That's funny that they kept it after they made such a big deal about it!
03/13/2012
Contributor: funluvinmama funluvinmama
I would be horrified, as my parents don't know I play with toys. I wouldn't be able to face them for weeks. They know I am married but they don't believe in toys.

My hubby bought me my first one and I was embarrassed to use it or even get more. I joined this site to gain more comfort with toys and to get more to experiment with and try out. I like the review program so you don't have to pay too much for toys you might not like.
03/14/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by SMichelle
Yesterday, I received a package from EF. Two dresses, a babydoll, a pair of fishnet stockings..oh, and a vibrating bullet that I forgot all about as it was a freebie. When I got the package, I quickly pulled out the items I knew I ordered, and than ... more
If your Mom was ok with it why not own up? You're an adult not a child...if they are uncomfortable with sex toys in their house that's another issue. You can easily package up the sex toys and respect their wishes but I wouldn't hide it unless there's a possibility they would throw you out or disown you over the issue.
03/14/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
HA!

It seems that they were really messing with you, if I'm applying the right tone.

If it would've been me, I would've said something along the lines of "well, it was either a bullet or that one guy with all the kids ... more
See? My Dad would have rationalized finding a sex toy as a great alternative to a dozen grandkids...
03/14/2012
Contributor: GONE! GONE!
Quote:
Originally posted by SMichelle
Yeah, all in all they were okay with it, though my father spent about 2 hours making jokes about it.

And I did just notice it sitting on the bookcase with all of my fathers things, not in the trash. If he and mom want it, they can have it; ... more
Omg they took it? That just makes it even worse. XD
03/14/2012
Contributor: Mwar Mwar
I feel for you
03/14/2012