The New Intimacy

How do you get someone to throw away their inhibitions?

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Contributor: StrawberryEve StrawberryEve
My boyfriend is very reserved and tries to control all of his emotions, even when we are getting intimate. I felt absolutely amazing the few times that he lost his inhibitions, but it's so difficult to get him to do that. I've told him it's okay and that I love it when he doesn't hold anything back, but he still does. What should I do?

Nothing that involves outside substances though, we both aren't legally allowed to have alcohol, and we don't even like even the smell in the first place.
10/25/2010
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Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Maybe sit down and try to act out a fantasy you both have? Something that might encourage him to get really into the moment and forget any hangups he might have?
10/25/2010
Contributor: trios trios
Quote:
Originally posted by StrawberryEve
My boyfriend is very reserved and tries to control all of his emotions, even when we are getting intimate. I felt absolutely amazing the few times that he lost his inhibitions, but it's so difficult to get him to do that. I've told him ... more
My wife of 7 years is the same. She would rather have quickies and be done with it, and return to reading.

I am the kinky kind who would do the group thing (if I could), like to roleplay, watch porn, etc. In fact I bought 5 dildos for her, and she doesn't really want them so I may be giving some or all away.

It is definitely a struggle. She gets turned on enough to do it, but not really turned on like I would like her to be.

Still a mystery to me...
10/25/2010
Contributor: Unconventional Unconventional
My husband is the same way. Honestly the only thing that has encouraged him has indeed been alcohol, so I got nothin' but empathy for you. And that was once, lol.
10/27/2010
Contributor: trios trios
Right now my wife is breastfeeding so she can't have alcohol to help get things going...Plus she is the kind to fall asleep.
10/27/2010
Contributor: StrawberryEve StrawberryEve
I am so glad I'm not the only one with this problem. I don't want to seem insensitive to his wishes, but sometimes I just want to go completely primal and not stop until he's biting and scratching as much as I like to.
11/03/2010
Contributor: Trashley Trashley
Just look em in the eyes, feel it in your bones, and whisper "It's never a sin to give in to pleasure.."
Had that problem a lot with the virgin boys and straight girls my first year of college..
Worked like a charm!
11/03/2010
Contributor: StrawberryEve StrawberryEve
Quote:
Originally posted by Trashley
Just look em in the eyes, feel it in your bones, and whisper "It's never a sin to give in to pleasure.."
Had that problem a lot with the virgin boys and straight girls my first year of college..
Worked like a charm!
Ooooh I like that. I think I might try that tomorrow.
11/23/2010