These gestures are mostly used (in my case)by age. sorry gender never mattered.

I like to have doors opened for me and my chair pulled out for me, I think it's sweet. And I like to make my boyfriend's plate for him. I think they are just sweet gestures for one another.

Wow. Long and complicated poll. I don't think about it much. We do things for each other. If things weren't equitable, I wouldn't have been with her for so long in the first place.

i would treat my girl like a queen but would like her to appreciate it and also do things for me also so it could be somewhat equal

I try to hold the door open for my wife most of the time, but it all depends who gets to the door first. In a way, I guess it doesn't really matter.

I'm female and I have to take care of everything myself. We don't have specific expectations of each other.

We are equal for the most part. I've never had my seat pulled out for me and I serve the food because I cook it. At times I will let him serve himself because I do not know how much he wants. We don't eat at the table, so it's not like it's right there, I leave it on the stove and ask him "Do you want me to make you a plate or are you serving yourself?" Admittedly other days when I'm tried or ticked off, he can serve himself.

I am a female, we open the door for eachother, I don't care who serves who, both of us can be spoiled in certain aspects.

Now, my husband does work all day long in the outdoors, and I do like to serve his dinner to him when he does. This gives him a chance to relax when he gets home.

I like equality. Someone opens one door, the other person opens another. Same goes for serving someone and chair pulling out, although I still don't need my chair moved for me. Lol. Interesting questions you have here.

Me and my boyfriend treat eachother equally most of the time. I enjoy cooking and serving him food because he works a lot of hours and he's tired, not because I'm the woman and he's the man. Sometimes he cooks and serves me food. Honestly I think I'm a better cook which is why I prefer to do the cooking. lol. Same for the cleaning. I love when he opens the door for me and treats me special because I'm a woman. We're very equal but we are a little old fashioned in a romantic simple way. I don't know how else to explain it.

It's the 21st century, we should be equal

In these manners, we're relatively equal.

My fiancee and I are completely equal. In public or private, we open doors and pull chairs out for each other. He usually cooks and I help out, but whoever is not occupied with measuring, chopping, or cooking will serve the plates. Also, if he surprises me with dinner, he will make a plate and serve me.

totally agree

I'm fine with traditional manners, but I'm insulted when other people refuse to modernize to make them more gender-neutral. Hold the door or pull out the chair because the other person needs it or because you want to spoil them or because it just seems polite, but don't do it because of their gender.

My brother waits for my mother, sister, and I to sit down at nice dinners and that's fine -- although I've still insisted on returning the favor. But I've had men grab doors I was holding and say things like ladies first and that is just rude as hell no matter what you were taught.

equal but i need respect

I like to do all those nice, polite things not because I feel my male-body obligates me to do so, but because they're ways of showing affection.

Holding the doors open.. I don't really care for someone to open it to let me in. It feels awkward to me. Now, I don't think I'd like someone I'm with walking into a store or something and letting the door slam in my face, but, like, they walk in and try to keep the door opened for me until I get there. Just like if I got there first, I'd walk in and hold the door opened for them. I expect that from any person, even strangers.

Chairs... I can pull out my own chair. They can pull out their own chair. I don't want them pulling out mine and I don't want to pull out theirs. I've just never seen that as important. That's just how it is.

As for serving food, I grew up where it was always, "Help yourself." Small children get served, but once you hit a certain age, you should know how to serve yourself food. If we had guests over growing up it was usually, "Are you thirsty? Yeah? Okay. The glasses are in this cupboard, ice is in the freezer, there's sodas in the pantry, water on the counter, milk and juice in the fridge. Have at it." And I got the same thing at friends' houses. I never saw it as rude it's that everyone has their own way of doing things. Person A might like sodas in a glass completely full up with ice, whilst Person B likes the glass only half-full of ice. If Person B gets Person A a soda, it won't be how they like it. Same goes for food. Maybe Person A prefers more salad to pasta, but Person B likes an equal portion of each.

Now, I'd be perfectly happy cooking for someone. Like, we're going to have dinner so they request something. I'll gladly make whatever it is. But I still expect them to serve themselves whatever they want.

I never grew up with people opening doors for me, pulling out chairs, or serving me food, so it's a very foreign concept to me. I feel awkward when it happens, not respected or loved or whatever. I don't understand why they're doing it. I'm an adult. I can do those things myself, so why are they doing it for me?

I see it as affection/spoiling one another...
We don't get to spend alot of time together bc our work scheduled are opposite... when we do spend time together we spoil one another... Like today I picked him up from work... I got dressed up special... and it lit up his eyes... which of made me feel special. He ordered my dinner and did the hole door thing and that makes me feel extra special. we do little things like that too keep that great spark.

depends on the suituation, I guess...

We typically open doors and serve each other food equally, except for those days that he works, then I'm serving the food most of the time.

He never pulls out my chair for me (and I don't care that he doesn't), whoever gets to said door first opens it for the other, and so on. Whoever is at the stove/oven/counter does the serving (usually whoever made the meal, but not always). I guess when I think about it, we do switch off with things, but he does also do respectful/affectionat e things for me, like unlock my car door or open the front door when I am fumbling for my keys. For us, it's just being attentive to the other's needs.

We are equal. I just see these acts as something nice and do look further for something that's not there.

I cook cause i'm too picky about my food and my bf cant cook

I think relationships are really just give and take, I like to take care of people so i always make dinner and bring my boyfriend his food and drinks, I do the same for guests in my home and at my parents home. My boyfriend opens door for me sometimes and i open the door for him sometimes. I don't pull out chairs and neither does he, I would be a little off put by that. I know he would be doing it to be sweet but after being together for four years it would just be so out of place. I'm a little more casual than that, if i were with a guy who insisted on pulling out my chair every time we went out it'd make me anxious.

I'm gay and will do these things for a woman and am fine wit her doing them for me. In a same sex relationship you can't really use gender as a guide to who should do these things and who should expect them. I'm sure in some same sex relationships it is one-sided but it couldn't be determined by gender and there would have to be something else used to assign the behaviors.

When it comes to serving food for meals, we serve ourselves, but we also get things for each other. I do things like holding doors because I'm a gentlemen and with my wife as a sign of affection, respect and love. Some of the traditional roles and rules are missing from our marriage, yet enough is done to cement our love and affection for each other.