The New Intimacy

Do You Often Feel Lonely?

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Contributor: js250 js250
I went to a business owner's meeting last night and was shocked when one of the members brought up her feelings of loneliness during the open table discussion. She stated that her employees are friendly to her but are not friends with her--which is also a good thing in some ways. Her husband does not understand the emotional toll her business places on her and she feels very alone in the world sometimes. As the discussion actually took off and others shared their feelings, I also realized that there are times when I also feel alone in the world...but for different reasons. I thought this was a very eye opening experience and was surprised at the understanding and candor of this discussion. It was the first one like this in the 13 years I have been a member of this association....

--What times have you felt alone?
--How did you resolve this feeling of isolation?
--What is your advice to those who feel this way?
05/16/2013
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Contributor: Intrepid Niddering Intrepid Niddering
I actually tried to understand this issue with myself fairly recently.

I am perfectly fine and happy when I'm alone. I'm very much the introvert, so spending time on my own, doing whatever I want, is amazing. I also see it as my, "recharge" time. Eventually, though, I'm too charged and I want to go interact with people (usually in a chatroom I frequent, but it's still interaction).

Recently when I went, I realised that that's when I feel most alone: when I'm surrounded by people.

Basically, if I'm in a large group setting, I'm out of my element, so I'm usually more withdrawn. Add into that, if everyone I know and talk to is obviously busy with everyone else, I just feel terrible about myself. I feel like, since they're busy with everyone else, it means I'm not good enough for them to spend time with. I feel replaceable.

There was a particular friend that, no matter how I tried to interact with him, I felt like I kept getting the brush-off. So I tried to go off to the side and talk to him about it and explain how I was feeling. Even now, I don't believe he understands fully how I felt. That's not to say I don't believe he tried, but you really have to be able to understand this mindset to fully comprehend it. It's like a non-hoarder trying to understand why a hoarder hoards. A non-hoarder is simply never going to fully understand the situation.

As for advice... I really don't know. I'm still trying to fully understand how to go about things myself. I'm the type of person that has to know why people do what they do, including myself, so that's the only reason why I was even able to realise that I am this way. (I was upset with that friend and I needed to know why, which led further and further out to the general idea.)
05/16/2013
Contributor: ViVix ViVix
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
I went to a business owner's meeting last night and was shocked when one of the members brought up her feelings of loneliness during the open table discussion. She stated that her employees are friendly to her but are not friends with her--which ... more
I feel very alone when making big parenting decisions because I am a single parent. I've tried online support groups and such in the past, but I'd much rather have a group of real life single mothers who can meet and who can bring their kids. I don't have any advice for others...I just wish I had waited awhile longer to parent. Even if I would've still been a single parent, I'd be more wise about other things.
05/16/2013