The New Intimacy

Do you ever worry about being too helpful?

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Contributor: gone77 gone77
I was shopping at Wal-Mart last night, and I saw a guy in one of those motorized scooters struggling to get some candy off a high shelf with his cane. I was passing by when I stopped and offered to help him. He accepted my offer and I got the candy for him.

However, I've had some people become upset when I offer to help them like I'm insulting them, so I find myself hesitating when I'm confronted with someone obviously needing help. I was glad I stopped to help the guy at Wal-Mart.

Has anyone else have someone become upset when you tried to help them when they seemed to need it? Do you hesitate when someone's in need or do you just jump in regardless?
11/04/2010
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Contributor: Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
Quote:
Originally posted by gone77
I was shopping at Wal-Mart last night, and I saw a guy in one of those motorized scooters struggling to get some candy off a high shelf with his cane. I was passing by when I stopped and offered to help him. He accepted my offer and I got the candy ... more
I help. I've also been insulted for it from time to time but I think it's always better to offer to help than not, especially if it's truly well-meaning. I have to be able to live with myself and look myself in the mirror everyday, so I do what I believe is right - if they take it badly, it's unfortunate, but it's not my fault - I was doing nothing besides trying to be a decent human being.
11/04/2010
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
Yeah. Even in the south, Southern Friendliness is regarded with suspicion. Mom just raised me to be polite and offer to help those who are having trouble. I usually ask first, though, and allow them their dignity if they feel they don't need help. I noticed it's usually older men that get offended.
11/04/2010
Contributor: Hannah Savage Hannah Savage
I always help. And I almost always ask before helping. More often than not it is appreciated, and when it isn't.... Oh well! I meant no harm by it so I don't feel bad.
11/04/2010
Contributor: Alicia Alicia
Quote:
Originally posted by gone77
I was shopping at Wal-Mart last night, and I saw a guy in one of those motorized scooters struggling to get some candy off a high shelf with his cane. I was passing by when I stopped and offered to help him. He accepted my offer and I got the candy ... more
I always wonder if they'll react negatively, because I have had that happen. But generally I do help or I ask if they'd like help. When I ask I make sure that my tone does not sound patronizing, because that's sure to make them feel bad.
11/04/2010
Contributor: ToyGeek ToyGeek
I always offer help whenever the opportunity arises. I'm pretty skilled as an improv mechanic, and getting someone's car started in the rain, using nothing but office supplies, is never met with anything but gratitude.
11/04/2010
Contributor: Jobthingy Jobthingy
I have never had anyone react negatively. I ask if they need help with whatever (crossing the street, reaching something.. I am abnormally tall) and they usually thank me and bless me and tell me i am a good soul LOL
11/04/2010
Contributor: Danielle1220 Danielle1220
I ALWAYS offer my help if someone looks like they are in need. And if they get offended or say no. Oh well that is fine with me. I was the better person and offered assistance, if you don't want my help then continue making a fool of yourself and continue to try and do whatever your struggling with on your own. Sorry if that sounds mean just how I feel.
11/09/2010
Contributor: gone77 gone77
I think you guys are right--it's best to always help when you can, just be sure to ask first. Thanks for your input!
11/09/2010