I'm curious what people think. I'm not talking about someone who is your coworker or classmate that you meet everyday and speak with. I mean those people that you invite to come over to watch a movie or go somewhere together but just as friends. Do these work? Can there be such thing that it NEVER evolves into a relationship? I find it pretty hard to have a kind of friendship when you see each other often but never getting more. On the other hand if some time passes there is even an imaginary barrier, or the "friend zone". From this place it would be pretty hard to evolve. Both of you would have labelled the other as friends and then nobody wants to ruin the friendship with a possible relationship that has a chance to fail. If it really turns out to not work or ends with a break-up then the initial friendship would be much much harder to keep / resume. However I have a friend who was 2 years best friends with his girl before they got together. What do you think? Experiences?
Do you believe in friendship between men and women?
05/01/2011
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I have tons of male friends who I haven't the slightest intention of sleeping with. Most of them are just really cool guys who aren't sexually attractive to me (physically or otherwise).
05/02/2011
I used to go out with my girl friends all the time before I got married. There was never any thought of a relationship or sexual thoughts. At least on my side. We were just friends.
05/02/2011
I wish it were possible, but it's very rare! I used to try to believe that my male friends would not cross that line espcially knowing I had a partner and every single time, they did. Actually a friend I'd grown up with (male) just recently started texting me to check on us after our tornadoes hit. He moved away a while back & he's only been texting me for a day now & already he's started crossing that line. He also has a live-in GF! Early today he texted and asked if he could tell me somethign without my partner getting mad. I said if you have to ask then it's probably not a good idea & I told him no, not to text me things because it may not upset my partner but it's disrespectful to me. Now, it's 2am and he just texted saying he's always had a crush on me. & he's planning on coming out here to help our area with disaster relief and he asked me if we could hang out ALONE. "NO sex or hanky panky though, I promise." He said, but why would he need to be alone with me? Why can't men just leave it at friendship instead of going there and ruining it all together?
I had several other male friends who did the same. I've lost a lot of "friends" over it. Now, I don't bother with male friends because every time they screw it up.
I've only had one male friend who respected me enough to let it go. He was a friend from high school and he once told me he had strong feelings for me & when I turned him down he wouldn't speak to me for months. He was my best friend for years. He eventually got over it and we remained friends and he never crossed that line again & never disrespected my current partner.
The only male friends I have now are my boyfriend's and that's only because I can have a nice conversation without them crossing the line. A couple of his friends have though, but I put a stop to it and it got better.
I had several other male friends who did the same. I've lost a lot of "friends" over it. Now, I don't bother with male friends because every time they screw it up.
I've only had one male friend who respected me enough to let it go. He was a friend from high school and he once told me he had strong feelings for me & when I turned him down he wouldn't speak to me for months. He was my best friend for years. He eventually got over it and we remained friends and he never crossed that line again & never disrespected my current partner.
The only male friends I have now are my boyfriend's and that's only because I can have a nice conversation without them crossing the line. A couple of his friends have though, but I put a stop to it and it got better.
05/02/2011
of course! my best friends as a teenager were males and there was never any sexual tension or attraction. My husbands closest friend is a female, they have been friends since 8th grade.
05/02/2011
@kendra: Great post! I know what you are feeling, it's pretty hard for a guy to not cross that line you know.. Somehow it just happens without even realizing it okay that's just me others maybe have worse intentions. But that texting guy seems a little pushy.. If I was trying someting I wouldn't go straight for the point out of the blue, damn.. I think it was a bit scary for you wasn't it.
Others: are you sure those friends are deep enough? Sure I know a lot of girls whom I chat with in high school but those were entirely different than what I speak of. A friend that you can share more private stuff with, etc. I only have one and a half male friends like this for example. And an oter one and a half who is a girl. Half because with the other 2 something is/was missing but we speak/spoken regularly.
Others: are you sure those friends are deep enough? Sure I know a lot of girls whom I chat with in high school but those were entirely different than what I speak of. A friend that you can share more private stuff with, etc. I only have one and a half male friends like this for example. And an oter one and a half who is a girl. Half because with the other 2 something is/was missing but we speak/spoken regularly.
05/02/2011
It's pretty tough even when you are both in committed relationships. Even if you and your friend are both good with it, you have each friend's partners to worry about getting jealous or whatever else. I have had good friends in the past of the opposite gender, but something always seems to screw things up. Male/female relationships can get pretty messy sometimes. Good conversation.
05/02/2011
It's easy if they're gay.
05/02/2011
Total posts: 8
Unique posters: 7