The New Intimacy

Critiquing reviews?

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Contributor: Sephymuffins Sephymuffins
Has anyone encountered someone that got extremely upset over a critiquing comment on their review? I just encountered that not too long ago when I critiqued someone and got a not-so-pleasant message in my inbox.

I don't find anything wrong with giving opinions on the way a person writes or what they didn't write. What about you guys?

Sure, the focus is the toys or the lingerie being reviewed, but I also find it interesting to just READ reviews like stories on here. If something someone has written is jumbled up and is really cluttered, I can't read it!

Opinions on this and other things pertaining to literally writing reviews?
  •   (1)
    I am personally offended by this
12/17/2009
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Contributor: Sir Sir
Literally writing reviews, meaning the actual quality of writing as opposed to how well it evaluated the product, correct? This is what you are speaking about, little one?
12/17/2009
Contributor: giggled giggled
Quote:
Originally posted by Sephymuffins
Has anyone encountered someone that got extremely upset over a critiquing comment on their review? I just encountered that not too long ago when I critiqued someone and got a not-so-pleasant message in my inbox.

I don't find anything ... more
I think quality of writing is really important in reviews, and it definitely adds or detracts to the allure of the product. It really depends on the critique of the review you gave - legitimate critique that isn't nastily written should be fine, and harassment in PM isn't cool and should probably be reported to someone if it was offensive or inflammatory.

That said, we're all grown ups here. If you can't take it, don't dish it out. Getting into a flame war on this site of all sites seems beyond silly.
12/17/2009
Contributor: LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
Giggled is correct. As long as I have been doing reviews for Eden, this has been a community that offers up suggestions to each other on how to improve reviews. Most of the time, these critiques are constructive and are received well, but not everyone responds well to criticism.

If you do receive harassing messages through the Eden message system, please do bring it to the attention of myself or any Eden staff member. All community members are expected to adhere to the Expectations of Conduct in any communications between contributors on Eden Fantasys.
12/18/2009
Contributor: Juliettia Juliettia
In the past I've received nasty notes for suggesting that the reviewer not use text speak, u for you, 2 for to, etc. in place of actual words. It always is annoying, but not something I've ever paid too much attention to.
12/18/2009
Contributor: JEM JEM
I always welcome constructive critisism on all my reviews. Noone is perfect and I welcome anyone letting me know where I have made a mistake or could have done something better. That is one of the great things about this community! I think anyone writing a review on here should be open to any suggestion that may help them make their reviews even better.
12/18/2009
Contributor: Juliettia Juliettia
I agree JEM. I would love it for people to tell me what I'm doing wrong and give me suggestions when my review is not the best.
12/18/2009
Contributor: Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
I'm sorry to hear that happened to you. I understand how it can hurt to be critiqued. Event a negative vote makes me frown a bit but I hope this person will come to understand everything that's been said in this review. Even if you include everything a person can possibly want to know about the toy, spelling errors, slang or just confusing formatting can make your review absolutely unuseful. A person may not realize this because he or she is familiar with his own thought and writing process but we all aren't.
12/18/2009
Contributor: Sephymuffins Sephymuffins
Quote:
Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours
Giggled is correct. As long as I have been doing reviews for Eden, this has been a community that offers up suggestions to each other on how to improve reviews. Most of the time, these critiques are constructive and are received well, but not ... more
Something's already been done about me being insulted via PMs, but I guess I'm just amazed at how some people really are so touchy.

I figured I was in the wrong for a bit, like I shouldn't have critiqued her, but now I have confirmation that honestly it happens all the time in this community. It wasn't rude or offensive what I said, either.

It was bizarre.
12/19/2009
Contributor: Sephymuffins Sephymuffins
Quote:
Originally posted by Adriana Ravenlust
I'm sorry to hear that happened to you. I understand how it can hurt to be critiqued. Event a negative vote makes me frown a bit but I hope this person will come to understand everything that's been said in this review. Even if you include ... more
Thanks. I've come to terms with it and I'm still going to do what I do.

That's actually how the review was, it was hard to heard because of the confusing structure, etc.
12/19/2009
Contributor: Sephymuffins Sephymuffins
Quote:
Originally posted by Sephymuffins
Thanks. I've come to terms with it and I'm still going to do what I do.

That's actually how the review was, it was hard to heard because of the confusing structure, etc.
*read
12/19/2009
Contributor: Alan & Michele Alan & Michele
Quote:
Originally posted by Sephymuffins
Has anyone encountered someone that got extremely upset over a critiquing comment on their review? I just encountered that not too long ago when I critiqued someone and got a not-so-pleasant message in my inbox.

I don't find anything ... more
We haven't had anyone attack us via the inbox yet, but we have had a few cases of retaliatory down-voting. The way I see it, it's a maturity thing; some have none.
Most of the reviewers on here, however, are serious about their writing and appreciate it when someone gives them critique like you did so they can improve. You just have to ignore the childish ones.
12/19/2009
Contributor: Viktor Vysheslav Malkin Viktor Vysheslav Malkin
I have had only people letting me know there are a few spelling mistakes, which is helpful. It was my fault, and I am glad someone took the time to help me. I fixed the mistake and I think it overall helped out my review.

I think everyone frowns slightly if they do get an unfavorable review, but hopefully the unfavorable reviewer(s) left comments suggesting how we can improve

I try not to be rude at all. I may ask a question or might give a suggestion (haven't yet). When I do (or will) I will be as polite as possible. I never want to hurt anyone's feelings. To take the time to review a product is worth some patience and politeness

Just my experiences, thanks.

I hope you do not get too down about an insulting message and likewise the person not get too down about a unfavorable review or Critique. Maybe if it is too insulting you can contact an administrator or moderator and they can take proper action?
12/19/2009
Contributor: LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
Quote:
Originally posted by Sephymuffins
Something's already been done about me being insulted via PMs, but I guess I'm just amazed at how some people really are so touchy.

I figured I was in the wrong for a bit, like I shouldn't have critiqued her, but now I have ... more
One thing to keep in mind when critiquing a review is that our comments are delivered without the benefit of tone of voice. Often a meaning or harsher tone that we did not intend can be inferred from our comments and what seems unoffensive when we write it can upset someone unintentionally.

It's one of those things we all have to be aware of on both sides of the situation. We should all try to take critique in the best possible light and of course, give our critiques positively.

And, if someone takes offense, we should still try to maintain a positive attitude and try to be understanding.
12/21/2009
Contributor: Naughty Student Naughty Student
Once I received a PM that I took very negatively bcs the tone seemed very harsh but rather than retaliate I thanked the person for their input and low and behold the person wrote me back thanking me for not taking her message harshly. I guess as she re-read it she saw I might have taken it wrong. So I can see how some people may be reactive to cunstructive criticisms even though these are made with good intentions.
12/21/2009
Contributor: Victoria Victoria
Quote:
Originally posted by Naughty Student
Once I received a PM that I took very negatively bcs the tone seemed very harsh but rather than retaliate I thanked the person for their input and low and behold the person wrote me back thanking me for not taking her message harshly. I guess as she ... more
I'm glad you see it that way! So often, people miss really good feedback by being too reactive.

Besides, retaliating never does any good. Especially now with everything so transparent. It just turns into drama.
12/21/2009
Contributor: gone77 gone77
I have yet to critique a review or have one of mine critiqued. I'm not particularly worried about how any future critique I give might be received. I know how sensitive people can be to criticism even when it's constructive. I'm not even worried about possibly retaliation like down-voting, especially now that voting is public. I've actually critiqued other forms of writing (and it was always constructive) in the past and I've made some people rather pissed at me, so I'm used to it. lol People just need to suck it up and get the fuck over it.

I find that when people say they want your honest opinion on their writing, they rarely actually mean it. However, I do mean it when I say it. I'm open to constructive criticism. We all makes mistakes at one time or another and I'd rather someone politely point them out to me than let them hang there in the review(s). Now if I get some mean-spirited criticism I'm most likely to ignore it. I know it does no good to respond as it usually just fuels their bullshit.

I don't want anyone to feel like they can't critique my reviews out of fear of a bad response or the aforementioned retaliation. I vote fairly based on the review itself, not on the person who wrote it. I hope people will always do the same for me.
12/21/2009
Contributor: Sephymuffins Sephymuffins
Quote:
Originally posted by gone77
I have yet to critique a review or have one of mine critiqued. I'm not particularly worried about how any future critique I give might be received. I know how sensitive people can be to criticism even when it's constructive. I'm not even ... more
Your first paragraph sums up how I feel about criticism as well. If someone critiques me, I don't automatically take it personally or react in a negative way that will start drama. I'm not an attention seeker like some people are on here. If I say something not so politely and the person I'm saying it to takes it offensively when it's not meant to be that way, I'd rather the person confront me or question it.

But alas, people aren't always like that. Unfortunately this child of a reviewer took my critique HORRIBLY and rated all of my reviews low as some sort of payback.

It's already been dealt with, but it makes my opinion on some people sour.
12/22/2009
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
I had seen some errors on a few condom reviews so I pointed out to the writer that there were a few mistakes. I called out only what needed to be fixed and even left a smiley face so that it wouldn't be taken as me just nitpicking, even though I feel that while yes, I can get past the review saying "average length is 7.5 and this is actually an inch longer at 7.83" that the review would be better if it were correct throughout. I didn't feel the need to point out that most of the review looked like it had just been copied and pasted (poorly at that) and that none of the copying was cited.

But this person seemed to take my pointing out this small error as a personal attack.

I feel that this is the last of any website that there should be anybody who isn't mature enough to handle constructive criticism. But like giggled said, some people just have no maturity and can't handle not always having their own way.
12/28/2009
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
Another key point (that I might have missed skimming the thread) is location.

Questions about a toy or use are good to put in the discussion thread, but if you're pointing out an error or a writing suggestion why not take it to PM? That way the fact that someone forgot a period or something isn't out in public - a few quick edits and everything is the way it should be.

I'd love to have more feedback on my style, etc., but I can definitely see why someone would prefer it delivered privately.
12/28/2009
Contributor: Rockin' Rockin'
Quote:
Originally posted by ScottA
Another key point (that I might have missed skimming the thread) is location.

Questions about a toy or use are good to put in the discussion thread, but if you're pointing out an error or a writing suggestion why not take it to PM? That ... more
PMs work much better for me. Especially if it's a quick fix, like if someone just used the wrong word or an odd abbreviation, I think it's easier and cleaner to just message someone instead of commenting on the review. No one gets "called out" and it's a more personal interaction between the writer and the person asking about a change.
12/28/2009
Contributor: Sir Sir
Quote:
Originally posted by Rockin'
PMs work much better for me. Especially if it's a quick fix, like if someone just used the wrong word or an odd abbreviation, I think it's easier and cleaner to just message someone instead of commenting on the review. No one gets ... more
That's not exactly what the thread is about, however. Quick fixes and typos, that's not a big deal at all! It's just a mistake, we all make those. This is about actual critique and how people respond to it.
12/28/2009
Contributor: Sephymuffins Sephymuffins
Quote:
Originally posted by Rockin'
PMs work much better for me. Especially if it's a quick fix, like if someone just used the wrong word or an odd abbreviation, I think it's easier and cleaner to just message someone instead of commenting on the review. No one gets ... more
I agree with the idea of it being discreeter, but I don't critique things without asking questions about the product or lingerie. So in a sense, I do feel like it's appropriate to leave the critique on the person's review, rather than leaving it in their inbox.
12/28/2009