The New Intimacy

Dealing with being pursued

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Contributor: eri86 eri86
It is flattering. But I don't believe in going out with someone just because I'm being pursued. I have to be at least somewhat interested.

But some guys, though I like them well enough as friends, I'm hesitant to remain friends, because even though I've told them I just want to be friends they still use that friendship to pursue me.

How do I deal with that? How have you dealt with it in the past?
03/14/2013
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Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
Have you told them you feel that way? Like, straight up and candid?
03/14/2013
Contributor: KinkyKatieJames KinkyKatieJames
I've been in that situation many times. I have always just been up right and honest. Some people couldn't remain friends with me, but most have. Wishing you the best!
03/14/2013
Contributor: MrWill MrWill
I'm a man, that has been the pursuer in that scenario. Be a BITCH about things. Distance yourself. Make it hard for them to like you at all.


Then wait a while.


Then try being friends again.

Rinse and repeat until they either won't be friends with you again, or until they get it....


But don't complain when you decide you do have feelings for them and they have met someone else.
03/14/2013
Contributor: never shy never shy
Quote:
Originally posted by eri86
It is flattering. But I don't believe in going out with someone just because I'm being pursued. I have to be at least somewhat interested.

But some guys, though I like them well enough as friends, I'm hesitant to remain friends, ... more
I have just been out right honest some of my friends quit talking to me some it didn't bother if they get mad and stop being your friend then they weren't a good friend
03/14/2013
Contributor: GONE! GONE!
I leave. People like that obviously aren't going to listen, and if someone can't listen when I say "no," who knows how far they're going to take that lack of respect.
03/15/2013
Contributor: Living Doll Living Doll
I've ended "friendships" like that in the past. It's emotionally manipulative and passive aggressive for them to be that way when you've made your intentions (or lack thereof) clear.
03/15/2013