I prefer to refer to it as the "independent sheep". I refuse to pander to their bullshit, therefore I'm an outcast. I found out my sister is pregnant by stalking one of her social media pages. The only time I will ever meet the kid is at my mother's funeral - if I'm invited.

Honestly? It only bothers me at Christmas. less

Over the last couple of months I have realized that I am the offical Black Sheep of my family. I could seriously care less to be honest, but it does hurt and bother me when they exclude me from things. family deaths and other wise. Is any other EF'er the 'Black Sheep' of there family and does it bother you? less

I prefer to refer to it as the "independent sheep". I refuse to pander to their bullshit, therefore I'm an outcast. I found out my sister is pregnant by stalking one of her social media pages. The only time I will ever meet the kid is at my mother's funeral - if I'm invited.

Honestly? It only bothers me at Christmas. less

I completely agree with you on the "independent sheep" of the family, Stormy, and I'd only say sorry, but you seem not too bothered by the seclusion of your family, per se. As am I. I'm blamed for everything, not called for meals when it's done unless I'm the one to cook everything and clean all the dishes. I have to be the one to gets A's constantly, and not do any mischief while my female parental blatantly allows my younger brother to snort coke in his room, and drink hard liquor. Just what the f*ck. less

You just seriously ripped everything from my own life. I try to stay away, hell I moved as far away as I could when I was young, and yet they still try to pull me into there bullshit. Then, when I show signs of giving a fu*% again, they rip me. My younger brother just had a baby a few months ago, I only found out through a cousin. Oh well, live on. less

I don't really think of myself as a Black Sheep.
However, there are some indicators that some or many of my family consider me to be so. Last christmas I was back home and saw my now adult niece and her husband with many of the rest of the family. Conversation got around to living abroad and I mentioned to my niece that when my (now deceased) spouse and I were living in germany, we had invited her and her brother (niece and nephew) to spend a few weeks or longer there in germany with us, several times. We'd lived there three and a half years, that time. The kids were in grade school back then. My niece's eyes flew wide and she turned to her mother, my sister, and asked why didn't she get to go. My sister said "with uncle RonLee, no way."

Rod Ronald when you asked "...any other EF'er the 'Black Sheep' of there family and does it bother you?"
No, it doesn't really bother me, however, I'm somewhat saddened for their loss. less

Over the last couple of months I have realized that I am the offical Black Sheep of my family. I could seriously care less to be honest, but it does hurt and bother me when they exclude me from things. family deaths and other wise. Is any other EF'er the 'Black Sheep' of there family and does it bother you? less

Over the last couple of months I have realized that I am the offical Black Sheep of my family. I could seriously care less to be honest, but it does hurt and bother me when they exclude me from things. family deaths and other wise. Is any other EF'er the 'Black Sheep' of there family and does it bother you? less

From what you've written of your experiences Stormy, you've had a more difficult time than I have. My heart goes out to you.
So many of us have experienced such things... sad that people can treat us that way and not feel shamed themselves for doing so. less

Over the last couple of months I have realized that I am the offical Black Sheep of my family. I could seriously care less to be honest, but it does hurt and bother me when they exclude me from things. family deaths and other wise. Is any other EF'er the 'Black Sheep' of there family and does it bother you? less

I pretty much grew up by myself, so it's nothing really new to me. Even when I was home, I was locked away in my room reading and watching 1950's reruns (oh, and sucking up every possible bit of information I could find on sex, sexual relationship dynamics, and psychology). Didn't know it then but that path led me to Eden, so I'm forever thankful.

There were no family meals, there were no birthday parties, no sleepovers, no trips, no cards from extended family...this was due to a betrayal on my mother's part against the matriarch of the family.

What tore down my immediate family unit was my mother belittling my husband because he refused to do a favor for her that was a serious inconvenience to us and our schedules at the time. She told me she was done with me and I told her "that's fine, you only call me when you want something anyway, fuckyouverymuch have a nice life".

BUT, like I said, I grew up this way. At any given period of time in my life at least one family member was on the outs with the rest of the family. This time it's me and I'm happy to be their little scapegoat. That shit was toxic and I couldn't handle it anymore. I would spend hours after talking to my mother running through all of the things I did that set her off...and she loves, just absolutely loves, to compare me to my father. (That's a whole 'nother Oprah.) So, yeah...in the end it was better for me to walk away. The irony of the situation was she was asking my husband to do something for her, she herself had never done for me. It was a lose-lose situation.

She also treats my sister and I very, very differently. With her she caters to her every phone call, whim, want and desire. Me? "Oh you're fine. You'll be fine. You're my strong one." Pffffffffft. Sometimes I get to breakdown, too.

So yeah I totally feel you on everything you're going through and if you ever need to vent, just give me a shout. less